Desperate for entertainment in a dismal...
Desperate for entertainment in a dismal city (Lodz), and based on an only somewhat positive recommendation from the internet guide, Lodz in Your Pocket ("Magnes is the most famous strip club in Lodz"), I went to Magnes on a late Thursday evening. I confess that I'd have preferred reading a review of it on TUSCL first, but someone has to be the first to review a club, and I've benefitted from TUSCL reviews many times, so I guess it's my turn to take one for the team.
And, oh, did I! Magnes was baaaaaaaad, one of the worst strip clubs I've ever been to.
Pretty skanky dancers (and, admittedly, a few decent ones) would strip for about one song, but then the stage would remain dark for about two songs. Even when the club became crowded at about midnight, the two-song interlude between dancers continued, which made being there pretty boring. And the dances weren't much to watch either. Worse, when not dancing, the girls remained on one side of the club, talking amongst themselves, avoiding the patrons completely (a problem also noted by Lodz in Your Pocket).
Worse still, they sell you "dollars" for tipping the dancers for about $4 each. This is apparently because there are no paper bills worth $1 in Poland; the smallest denomination of Polish paper money is worth about $4.
To pass the time there, another patron and I began a conversation at the bar, and, all of a sudden, one of the few decent-looking girls (Olivia) actually came over and asked me in fairly good English if I'd like to go to a private room with her for half an hour for 200 zlotys (about $80), and this included a bottle of champagne and full two-way contact with her completely naked. This seemed too good to be true, so I confirmed it with her, going over the deal very carefully and clearly. And the bilingual fellow I'd been talking to also confirmed the deal with her in Polish. So I took her up on it.
It turned out to be a very bad idea. She delivered almost nothing, explaining that she liked to simply talk for the half hour, and she demanded more money in addition. Unfortunately, she was basically brain-dead, so I'd have paid to AVOID talking to her, which was actually in a way what I thought I was doing.
On my way out, I asked other customers there about their experiences, and all who'd paid for half hours said they'd had similar experiences, which was why they avoided contact with the girls, and, in return, likely why the girls also avoided them. So I'm not sure why anyone returned to Magnes after these experiences. But then, in general, Lodz is a complete pit with nothing else to do, so these folks were clearly desperate, and I think they were there simply to drink, and the occasional naked girl was a plus, but it was an expensive way to drink and see skanks.
Overall, Magnes is a terrible place, a complete rip-off, with nothing to offer anyone. If TUSCL had had a zero rating, I'd have chosen it. And given that Magnes is the allegedly "most famous" strip club in Lodz, I don't want to think about the others there. If you're reading this and thinking of going to Magnes, you should ask yourself what you are doing in a dump like Lodz in the first place. Your life has taken an unfortunate turn, and you really need to take action. You should immediately leave Lodz and at least get to Krakow, which is a much nicer city and where a club called Prestige is fairly nice, has beautiful women, and also has a great stage show.
