The Stoned Stripper

As others have described this place, it has a large L-shaped dance floor surrounded by a bar. There was no cover when I arrived at 5 PM. If you come in around happy hour, you can get bottled beer for around $3 and dances for $20 -- although the latter will be harder to come by than the drinks. More on that later. The place sort of has a neighborhood bar vibe, with a lot of folks drinking and hanging with friends after work. There are screens with sports playing all around and a massive one on one side, if that's your jam. Sort of a weird vibe really, even one of the dancers commented to me on it.

The dollar parade was constant, and it was almost a go-away tax after a while. The talent was decided meh. Most were 5-6s, with a couple of solid 2s and a couple of 7s. I was ready to call it as the an attractive (and remarkably thin considering the venue) girl around 5' tall took the stage. She put on a good stage show - the only one to actually use the pole during my 2 hours there. Most girls just swayed and wandered around at this place. When she came by for the dollar parade she introduced herself as Luna and agreed to a dance. Score! Except I had to then wait another 10 minutes for her to finish the dollar parade... She went twice around the bar, which was less than most of the ladies as noted above. This cost me another $10 in tips to other girls on parade while I waited. There doesn't seem to be a way to avoid it - there is only seating at the bar and they make their way around it relentlessly. They also seem to be friends with each other, so no sense stiffing one and getting the rest mad.

Luna, as it turns out, offers messages in addition to being a dancer - so I got one of those for $20 and found out it was pretty good except we kept stopping to pay the parade. I bought her a drink and we chatted for a bit and she laid down the 'rules' - which mostly involved not touching T&A and being sure to tip a lot. Apparently, give enough tips and she'll allow some touching. Ridiculous. Despite all that, she was still the most attractive girl there - so in for a penny, in for a pound, I guess. Her lap dance was surprisingly lackluster after the showing on the dance floor, waiting, and message skills. Of course, it didn't help that she was stoned out of her mind (to the point she forgot I paid her a few minutes earlier and we had to argue about it). She nearly fell over while walking into the curtained off lap dance room and kept getting tangled up in herself during the dance, making it memorable for all the wrong reasons. Obviously no extras were on offer from her, for those of you inclined to wonder.