I've had more fun at The DMV.

I know...from years of going to the clubs...that they have their ups and downs in terms of quality. I had gone to the Flamingo many times during the late 2000's, and it was pretty much always an off-the-chain and worthwhile drive to Lawrence. The dancers were hot, skilled, and anxious to make money. Extras were plentiful, and management did little to get in the dancer's way of making money and taking care of the men who were willing to spend cash. It was a hell pf a great time.

However, in the last few years, every time I had the thought to go check out the current state of things at The Bird, I ended up wishing I had the time back. Either there were no dancers working who I was willing to let get close to me, or the desirable girls working were hiding in the dressing room or glued to a chair next to some old (likely rich) guy who was obviously worth enough take-home cash that they never budged for the entire duration of my visit. Seriously. They just sat there, looking bored, not dancing, not hustling, just riding herd on their apparent regular. I swore I'd never go again.

But hey. It had been about two years since my last WTF? visit, and I told myself a downturn like I'd experienced couldn't last forever. I'd give the Flamingo a fresh shot.

I loaded-up with several hundred bucks and headed to Lawrence, sincerely hoping I'd return with nothing but renewed enthusiasm. After all, Friday evening had to be an optimal time to see what was really happening as of late. I was hopeful and stoked.

Right away, as I was pulling in the main parking lot, my hope began to wane. Maybe four cars besides mine (dancers park around back). I walked in, and yup...four guys sitting at tables. Only one had company, and there were two VERY average girls with him. But hey, I'm a clean and fit dude...surely some girl will see me and assume I would be a good custie. Very cute waitress eventually came by and served me my customary bar drink. Then, I waited. And waited. And waited. As I was making my way to the men's room, I passed by a fairly attractive dancer who had appeared from the nearby locker room and I smiled and said, "Hi. You are very definitely invited to join me at my table over there. I'd like your company". She leaned in to hear me, not bothering to make eye contact, looking away like she was disinterested and actually replied, "Yeah, uh, ok, maybe...I'm really not supposed to be here tonight".