My favorite club in NJ so far...

I've been to my share of clubs up and down the east coast and this is definitely one of the best. At least, it's better than anything else I know of in suburban New Jersey. But of course "better" is a relative term. Surely if you define better only in terms of aesthetics, then perhaps you'd better look elsewhere: no doubt there are many younger, better-looking dancers working the beat in other clubs throughout the Garden State. The same goes for the appearance of the establishment itself. It's not exactly a dive bar, but it's seen better days. Compared to The Ballpark Tavern or The G-Spot, it's a palace; compared to Delilah's in Philly, it's a dump. So what makes this such a good club? Read on for more info.

I don't live far, so I've visited this club off and on for the last few years and several times in the last few weeks. It's a gaudy pink and black building on Rt. 130, right next to a car dealership. Like many adult entertainment establishments, it looks like they haven't renovated in about 20 or 30 years. The parking lot is pretty big, but it offers little privacy from the prying eyes of passers-by on the road. Once inside, the doorman/bouncer will conduct a security check using a wand (you'll be asked to place whatever is in your pockets into a plastic bin, etc.). Honestly, it's not as bad as it sounds; the security personnel are pretty polite about it and they only seem to conduct searches on certain days of the week or during peak busy times. The entrance fee always seems to be $10, but they collect it differently depending on the day of the week. During slower shifts, there's no cover but they do make you buy a drink (at $10 each, I believe). During busier shifts it's a $10 cover but you get two free drinks. The bartenders seem friendly but it can be difficult to get their attention at times. Luckily it's just a juice bar so you won't need to bother them for much anyway (for those who don't know, juice bars are the standard deal in suburban Jersey). The club has a simple design: a big stage in the center of the room, bar stools surround it. There is an unkempt men's room off to the left that offers absolutely no privacy, and there are two ATMs. The girls get up on stage in staggered shifts, usually two at any given time. Then they come around for the dollar parade, which I'll admit can be somewhat more aggressive than it is at some other clubs. And unfortunately, many of the dancers are significantly older than the average at other clubs, and well past their prime. Some even appear to be in their late 40s or 50s. But still, about half of the dancers are 30 or under, and some of these younger ones are very pretty. Honestly, even some of the older ones aren't bad looking. It all depends on your taste.

As for why this is such a great club, it's just a much better deal than the average strip joint. Most other clubs throughout the country offer $20 lap dances that vary greatly in terms of what's allowed; at clubs in NJ you shouldn't expect much for your $20 (the laws can be somewhat strict and the cost of living is high). Of course, the real action in most clubs, in New Jersey and elsewhere, is in the so-called Champagne Rooms/VIP Rooms, which cost anywhere from $100 to $400, depending on the club and the time spent. But even then, mileage varies greatly, leaving many strip club patrons broke and bitter at having "thought with their little head." In a nutshell, the problem is that it usually costs so much just to *find out* what your chosen girl is really willing to do. Some girls will upsell customers, promising a lot but then asking for more money once you've paid for the VIP Room. (And needless to say, there are no refunds.) Seems like a real dilemma, right? Well, the Playhouse Lounge has largely solved this problem by offering two tiers of lap dances, one for $20 and one for $30. The $30 dance is basically just an abbreviated version of the VIP Room treatment. In other words, you get a private room behind a closed door. But if you find that your mileage varies a bit too much for your taste, you can always stop after just one dance. Total damage: $30. And of course, if you choose to stay for a full half hour, it's still $30 per dance, which amounts to about $200. If I remember correctly, dances last about 4 minutes each. A club employee announces the girls' names followed by the number of dances each one has accumulated over a PA system, making it harder to lose track of the time or get cheated. Needless to say, almost no one ever takes the $20 couch dances, which lack privacy; everyone goes for the $30 closed-door dances instead. And some of these girls are racking up impressive totals, based on the numbers I overheard. Reinventing the VIP Room doesn't seem to have hurt anyone's bottom line.