Low key theater rather than a club

Crazy Horse is by itself on Market Street, rather than in the big cluster of other clubs up on Broadway. The cover charge was $25. The club doesn't have any tables or a bar. It's set up more like a theater, with a few rows of seats. It's definitely a bit old and dated, but wasn't completely run down. The stage stretches the width of the far end from the door, and has a catwalk like extension out into the room. The seats around that section face the catwalk, and are again theater style sets next to each other. The setup was a little awkward. You had to look sideways in your seat to watch the stage, and it wasn't convenient for dancers to sit chat at all. The main part of the stage has two poles, but they went almost completely unused. The dancers mostly crawled and posed their way down the catwalk. Tips led to a some interaction, ranging from some attention and directed posing or twerking thru some light grinding or taking the customer's hands and putting them somewhere on her body. In three songs, the dancers ended up nude.

The place has no bar at all. They stamp your hand and you can come and go as you like, and I was encouraged to go out and get something to drink and then come back afterwards. Inside, there's a vending machine as the only way to get anything at all to drink. On the plus side, the bottles of water were only $2.

The night I was there they had two porn stars performing. I don't recall their names. One was an artificially stacked brunette (Heidi, maybe) and the other a blond with a more natural body (Something Monroe, I think). They goofed around with some faux passion on the stage, taking each others clothes off, writhing around together, and such. The brunette beat my face with her breasts, which was pretty irritating. A good motorboat is fun, but she didn't shimmy her chest she slammed her hard, fake breasts into the sides of my head. I imagine it might have been amusing to the other patrons, but it wasn't a highlight for me. The DJ announced that after their dances the stars were available for photos and private dances. I never saw them after their performance, so I don't know where that happened, or even if it did before I left.