As good as you expect in DC

You're going to a club in DC. If you've done this before, you expect: hot dancers, full nudity, a full bar, no contact on stage, no contact on the floor, no private/lap dances and no cover. Archibald's meets each of these expectations perfectly. It's a long, narrow club with 3 little stages. There's no cover at the door. There are plenty of seats in front of each stage. There's no chance of touching a dancer.

When they come off stage, the dancers will stop and talk. You can buy them drinks (fairly expensive... probably more expensive than you'd expect based on the price of whatever beer or highball you bought for yourself, but not obscenely so) and they'll linger and talk to you a bit longer. The conversation is engaging and pleasant. But there's no touching, no opportunity for them to offer private dances, etc.

At the end of the night, this works out to a bar with slightly above average drink prices where you can look at nude girls on stage and enjoy significantly above average eye candy and conversation as they work the floor. There's nothing more ITC, and I did not explore whether more could be had OTC. If you expect a pleasant evening that'll cost you somewhere between a mid-priced bar and a low-priced strip club in most big east coast cities, with no mileage, you'll be satisfied.