Don't. Just don't. There were four...

Don't. Just don't.

There were four girls there. The smallest had to be 245 pounds. I go 6'" and 260, and they intimidated me. No way was I going to get a lap dance, I wouldn't have had a lap left. They got on stage, and it was more reminiscent of the livestock ring and a prize cow being paraded around. Thankfully none of them tried to do any pole tricks; there isn't a pole in Missouri that would be strong enough.

Just don't go.