Why does Centerfolds even bother? ...

Why does Centerfolds even bother? Painfully dull atmosphere, lame music, and zombie "dancers" who wander, blank-faced from one end of the stage to the other, occasionally stopping to sway a little bit, as if to prove that they are, indeed, dancing. Centerfold's anemic stage show is matched by the equally vapid personalities of its girls--poor dears who appear to be trapped halfway between reality and some slowed-down, other-wordly dimension. I think they come to work each night through a vortex hidden behind those heavy and hideously dated stage curtains. Or maybe it's just the morphine drip they must keep in back.

Reviewers seem to gush about the girls' looks, but you can't blame customers if they walk in wearing their "Boston goggles." The city's female student population typically doesn't dress to impress, so the difference is akin to the SPCA and Westminster for a lot of men. I am a frequent business traveler, however, and find the girls to be just "eh." Day shift can be pretty iffy, and although most of the night shift is fairly decent (albeit heavily made-up), excluding the pale one with the red, rice-bowl haircut, and another, whom I initially mistook for the creepy lamp from "The Brave Little Toaster." (http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ktsbai2D7Ps/0.jpg) For the curious, a relatively flattering photo of her (& co.) still graces the Centerfolds home page, as it has for at least the past 5-6 years. (I still see the rest of the group heading in for work some evenings, on my way into the Glass Slipper next door.)

Quite possibly Centerfold's biggest turn-off is its squad of enthusiastic bouncers. Between 3 to 7 of them stand guard outside the front door at any given time, charged with enforcing Centerfold's sedate country club dress code and mood, while keeping out the more "colorful" would-be patrons. Several others are inside Fort Knox--er, the club, supervising every private dance and diligently enforcing the 4'rule. Still more patrol the floor, reminding patrons to use indoor voices and to please remain seated and show respect while a dancer is on stage. Searchers of the seedy will be disappointed; the number of bouncers and strippers is roughly the same.