Expert

I've rated Good Guys before and it's never awesome, but I keep going back. I haven't visited D.C. in many years and wow, has that city every changed since I left! For the better! The Verizon Center, lots of swanky restaurants and bars downtown, many ares we used to steer clear of have been transformed into upscale nightspots. Lots of cool shit to do - more than when I lived there. Good Guys, on the other hand, is pretty much the same as it was in 1979, I think I even recognized one of the girls last week from back then! They've added two stages since my high school days, but it's otherwise the same gig. The night we went was rather sad - only one of the girls was mildly hot in my opinion - and one of my buddies thought she was too heavy. D.C. has always had a strict "no touching" policy and there are no lap dances or VIP rooms, no hot tubs, no champagne rooms. It's just watching some lovely ladies dance naked whilst having a drink with some buds. There was no cover when I went most recently and the place was pretty dead - not really a surprise, given it was late on a Tuesday night. I promptly went up to the last of the three stages to give the dancer a tip - she had obvious silicone boobs and saggy skin and probably looked older than she was, but what the hell - I was feeling generous. The girl on the first stage was cute and perky and had a good instinct, because she must have known that she had a sweet-looking pussy and managed to put it in my face without breaking D.C.'s no-touching code! The next round of 3 was also somewhat mediocre and one of the girls was quite heavy. I wanted to stay for another round, but my friends vetoed and we called it a night. Usually, Good Guys does better on the talent scale. This was a weak week night. Oh well, I'm sure I'll give them another chance next time I am in town.

I have to say that the night I had at the Penthouse Executive Club in New York City was the best and worst experience I have ever had at a strip club. First of all, it's in NYC, not far from Times Square, so you would expect it to to be pricey; and it is - especially if you take two girls to the VIP rooms upstairs like I did - but we'll get to that in a little bit. The first impression when you walk in is that this is a high-end club with high-end girls. I honestly did not see one girl under an 8 out of 10. I started the evening by having a drink with a couple of the ladies by the bar downstairs. No lap dances or tips at this stage of the game, but lots of touching, caressing, hugging and kissing, just right out there by the bar. I didn't want to get "trapped" by one girl before I had checked out a little more of the talent, so I moved on. It was actually kind of slow at the time I arrived - around 10:00 PM - and it seemed like I was surrounded by beautiful women all wanting a piece of me (and that was pretty cool, because I'm no Mark Wahlberg no anything). Oh yeah, they wanted ME, not my money! (It cracks me up how we guys all know that it's ALL about the money, but still, there's this little part of us that wants to think that these women are just so hot for us that they can't help themselves.) It wasn't long before a beautiful, petite blond girl started chatting me up - Ana. I really dug her looks - she probably wouldn't be considered a "10," purely on looks, but she was a solid 8.5-9.0 and very very sexy, with a great Brazilian accent and I was an unusual mood, so in my mind, at that moment, Ana was every bit a 10+! She was so hot for me, she just had to get me alone in a VIP room; she couldn't keep her hands off! So, naturally, it wasn't long before we were up in the VIP rooms, where things happen. Now I have been to clubs where the girls are selling you on the VIP room and when you go for it, there's not much "extra" that goes on - it's just a private lapdance, sort of. That's how it started off, but she then said, "you know, you ARE allowed to touch me if you want." She had such a tight body and perfect small, natural breasts with those great nipples that stand tall and look up. I was really happy when she said that! I really wanted to touch her. And so I did. And we both seemed to really be enjoying it. The first hour went by really fast and by the end of it, I was down to boxers and T-shirt, as I scrambled for a credit card so that I could keep the fun rolling for a little longer. This girl was a total pro and had the system down. We could pretty much do whatever we wanted, she explained, as long as the money kept flowing: tips for everyone, especially for the bouncer that monitors the rooms, but also big tips for the cocktail waitress, the girl selling shots, whatever. Like I said, I was in a very unusual mood and I have never gone quite so crazy in a club, but I had a definite case of "fuck it" going on and didn't give a shit. As the second hour got underway, Ana asked me if I had any fantasies. I was hesitant to answer, because I didn't think any of my sexual fantasies were going to happen in a strip club in real life. She asked me if I had ever been with two women at once, to which I truthfully said no. She acted shocked and told me she was going to find a friend of hers to join us, because she was determined to see my dreams fulfilled (such a thoughtful girl!). Despite my crazy mood, I did think of the dollars that would set me back, but she told me the room is being paid for anyway, so all I had to do was tip her friend - well. Ana returned with another lovely blond Brazilian lass, Gabriela. Gabriela was more of a 8.0 - a little heavier and less athletic than I usually like, but with big natural breasts and she was so soft and sexy and was an amazing kisser - yes kisser! Strippers don't tend to want kiss guys too much, so this was a pretty huge turn-on to me. We made out like high school kids while Ana watched, danced, and stroked. I was hornier for Gabriela than I had been with Ana! It was a mind-blowing night, you might say. We closed down the club and no one was wearing any clothes in that VIP room until the bouncer indicated he might be coming in the room, since it was closing time. It was truly a night to be remembered and one I'll never top...because, at some point, the sun comes up and you're back in reality again. I was NOT a happy camper in the morning. I had maxed out a couple credit cards and run up another; I was massively hung over; and it was Friday and I had a full day of business meetings lined up. Wow; what an idiot! Had I really spent THAT much money at a strip club?! I'm not going to say how much, but it was more than a paycheck - and my paycheck is pretty good. I could have hired two high-end prostitutes to come by my hotel for less - oh well. I had some serious regret and felt like a tool for quite a while afterwards. This all happened over a year ago and it messed up my finances, to the point that I had to dig out for many months thereafter. I dug out though. I'm sure I am not alone - people like me come along nearly every night at that place; some can afford to spend that much, some can't. But, I have some pretty awesome memories of partying like a rock star - holy crap! I have no regrets now, but I would like to go back someday; someday when I'm in a normal frame of mind and not wanting to party like a fiend; and see how it compares to other clubs if all I do is stay the hell out of the VIP areas and just enjoy the scenery or maybe a lapdance or two. So this review is a "qualified" A+++. Qualified, in that if you are a high-roller and don't mind dropping some serious cash at a club, definitely check out this place and go to the VIP room - you will have the time of your life, guaranteed! If I were a high-roller, I'd move to NYC and be on a first-name basis with everyone at the Penthouse Executive Club!!! But since I'm really not a high-roller, I'll just remember it fondly and try not to think about all the other things I could have done with that money. Live and learn.

I was in Phoenix on business and decided to check out Bliss. Overall, it was a positive experience. The atmosphere was pretty laid back and low-pressure (granted, it was midnight on a Tuesday). Cover was $7.00 and a pint of Guiness on draft was $8.00 (ouch!). I sat at stage 1 (of 2) and watched and tipped as 5 dancers did 3 songs each, stripping down to topless, but very appreciative of attention. Amazingly, I did not see a single set of inflated boobs (I like that)! Eventually, I decided to check out the "silver" VIP area for a $10 admission with $15/song LDs. As another reviewer commented, the girls could not seem to tell me the advantage of the "platinum" area (which is a $20 admission and $20 dances). Anyway, I went back for several dances with two different girls. Two-way contact was good and hot, but there was no "mileage." I usually can get mileage when it is available, but it was OK. In the looks department, the girls were OK. I'd say about a 7. Great bodies, but somewhat lacking in the face. I was there about 1 hour and spent $140 and had a good time. I would recommend it, but not if you're really bent on some extras. I may go back before I leave - maybe on Friday. I would like to see how it is on a busy night.