Humbly Disappointed
I have only move to the west coast a few months ago from Philadelpha, and this was my first club I visited. Being this close to Los Angeles, I was quite disappointed overall.
The building is located in what can best be described as a warehouse (?) district. There is an auto body repair shop literally right next door. There is also a homeless shelter on the other side of the street, so expect to see a few vagrants wandering around on your drive in. Surprisingly well lit parking lot.
I got there on a Saturday evening around 8pm hoping that I could watch parts of the UFC fight that were going on. When you first enter, you are greeted by the “bouncer” to pay the $20 cover. I use the term bouncer loosely because while the guy was intimidating at a distance, he was easily pushing 500-600 pounds, which don’t get me wrong, he was quite large, but he also seemed to get winded walking around. It makes me nervous how much he could do to actually break up an issue in the club. Not trying to shit on him, just a legitimate question/concern.
Once you pay the cover, you walk down a hall into the club. The club is essentially one large rectangle. The only stage is at the front. DJ booth and drink bar are along the close wall. Because this is a nude bar, they can’t serve alcohol. I had asked one of the girls if they let you do BYOB, but they said the club doesn’t allow it, so people will pregame in the parking lot before coming in. The remaining space in the club is reserved for padded bench seating along a proxy midwall, and various tables and chairs in the remaining space. The bar could probably hold about 40-50 people if it was fully packed. Unfortunately, when I arrived, I was the 3rd person in the club. I’m not sure why the club was so dead, but some of the girls said that it is not uncommon to be like that till 10 or 11pm.
I walked up to the bar to get a bottle of water only to discover that every drink, even down to a bottle of water, was $10. While I get since they can’t serve, they are probably looking for other means of income. If it was just $10 for me, I wouldn’t of minded so much, but every time the bar tender walks around while you are talking with a girl, they will ask you to buy the girl a drink. After talking with about 3-4 girls, and being out $40-$50 before even getting a dance, I wasn’t super thrilled. Part of this may have been due to limited customers inside, but even still. $50 on non-alcoholic drinks is a bit absurd. When I asked if one of the two televisions that were along the wall could be turned off to watch parts of the fight, I was told the TV’s don’t work. Am I asking for too much?
Girls are you’re pretty standard mix of ethnicities. White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, etc. They did seem to skew a bit on the younger side, like early to mid 20s, but all in all pretty standard. After sitting and watching the girls rotate on stage for about 40 minutes, and talking with some as they came by for the dollar parade, one of them (no names) came up to me and we struck up a conversation. Seemed nice, but a bit paranoid. I asked her what the strip club scene was like in Orange County, only for her to follow up with “why do you want to know?”. I proceeded to explain that I was relatively new to the area, at which point she continued to duck any follow up questions. Don’t know if she thought I was a cop or something, but it was a little weird.
After some back and forth came the proposition for dances. VIP dances are $100 for 15 minutes. I thought they also did single song dances at $20 each, but none of the girls seemed to offer that. I’m sure its something along the lines of they get a bigger % of the dance if they do a VIP. The girl I chose looked to be a bit on the older side (comparitively). I’d say maybe late 20’s/early 30’s but she had a nice pair of bolt ons. I asked her how good she was at VIP dances, and she said it would be the best time I’ve had. (Spoiler Alert: it wasn’t).
After agreeing to a dance, she walked with me over to the bar to pay the $100. Once I handed over the cash, she whispered in my ear “I gotta do something in the changing room, I’ll be back in two seconds”. 5 Minutes later she came back out. I was super thrilled that she just up and dipped like that, and I asked her if she was planning on counting that 5 minutes of our time. She said no, but it makes me wonder if I didn’t say anything if the clock would of been started. Not sure what she was doing, I’m assuming using the restroom, but do that before money exchanges hands.
The VIP booths are on the opposite side of the midwall along the perimeter. Maybe 15-20 in total. What sucks is that as you are walking to a booth, you have to walk by other patrons getting their dances. And let’s just say you can be within arms reach of girls as you walk by, so very narrow. We arrived at the booth, which is a little wider than a standard lounge chair, but a little smaller than love seat. The seat she picked for me had some kind of support rod that split the seat into to halves, and because the padding was (understandably) worn down, I had to sit on it the entire time. It would either wedge right into my ass crack, or I could shift to one side and have it riding my ass cheek. Either way, super uncomfortable. Additionally, there is a giant red security camera that stares you directly in the eyes. Look, I understand and respect the need for security cameras when it comes to VIP dances. They are there to protect customer and dancer alike. What I hate is when you are in a dark booth space, and you have the Red Eye of Sauron from a camera lens staring at you the entire time. There are better and more inconspicuous ways to stage cameras, but I digress.
The dance starts and she gets down to business. Pretty standard for hand travel. She didn’t seem to mind too much. But usually with dances the girls will take their tops and/or bottoms off. This girl didn’t feel like doing that. I asked her if she wanted to get more comfortable, and she said “I only really take off my robe”. I’m sorry, what? At this point, I kinda figured I wouldn’t be in a hurry to come back to this club, so I didn’t cause a stink and just let her continue, and then I would leave once she was done. The “dance” aspect wasn’t that bad. She knew how to move accordingly. What was the turn off was every 2-3 minutes she kept reaching into her panties to “adjust” herself? I’m not sure what she was doing but after the 3rd time I asked her if she was ok, to which she respond “no, I’m just getting really wet” and giggle. The red alarms were going off in my head and I was ready to finish up and head out.
Just before the dance concluded, she whispered in my ear “I’d like a tip unless you want to go another round”. Now listen, I like to think I am pretty generous when it comes to tipping, and I believe it should always be implied to tip from the customer side. I usually do a standard tip of 25% of whatever the dance cost on average, maybe 30-40% if the girl did a bang up job. But between the overpriced Costco water, and the girl fixing her panties constatly, along with asking for tips, I was kind finished. I gave her a $20 as I gathered my belongings and started to head out. She looked unimpressed that she only got a $20, but I think I was super generous considering she didn’t even remove her top or bottoms at a NUDE CLUB. Who knows, maybe my expectations are too high.
Regardless, I walked back out to my car and headed home to boil the clothing that I was wearing cause god knows why she kept digging in her panties.
I don’t think I’ll be going back here again anytime soon. The club seems like it has potential, and perhaps with a different girl I would have a better time. I am willing to bet with the high volume of clubs located between Orange and Los Angeles county, there are better clubs that provide a better experience for your dollar.