Reviews

My early March visit might not have rated mention but for pandemic and the absence of anything mentionable in months. Bottom’s Up has become my go-to place. If it lacks sparkle, it affords value. Beauties are rare. Young beauties are very rare. It’s a shame that the grandmas and skuglies aren’t rarer. Still, you can get it done for $30 or so. For $75 or so, you can shoot the works. (Level set: shooting the works requires sufficient courage to visit the “kitchen” in all its rendition site charm.) Before I disrespect the mammals a bit more, here’s a word on the bar itself. Shambles. It’s no showplace. It’s hardly a place at all. It’s four walls, a forlorn pool table, a hideous bathroom and a bar where beer and girls are served. Tits can be seen occasionally. Mostly it’s bikinis and bras over body parts past their prime. It’s not all bad, however. Most of the girls want to earn. Most do that via the annoying tip parade. Just suck it up and hand singles over. Hoes have to eat too. More encouraging is a far more friendly practice where the girls approach us directly where we think – our crotches. Her hand in my lap is a sure way to my ones. It’s also a fair way to assess who’s worth a trip to the kitchen or a handy under the bar (yep!). Some less attractive girls with more adept fingers have proved to be perfect kitchen partners in an environment where you’re not going to be able to see anyway. So who are we dealing with barside or back? Latinas. Brazilians mostly. A Colombian or two. Maybe one or more African-Americans. Most are long past their 20s. Some are well past their 40s. Few are slim. All are pros. Of course, there are pros – and then there are pros. If they’re all willing to put out, not all are putting out the same. Take one family. Yeah, I went there. There’s at least one family working BU. A mom and her daughters. Before you get too excited about a multi-generational connection, two things. The first is you won’t want mom. Flat chest. Flat ass. Barrel body. Homely face. The second is BU only lets one girl back at a time. I know that because I tried to take both sisters back. No go. The sisters are good, not great. A little pretty. Not a lot. Early 20’s a best, you’ll like them more for their age than their skill. I know, I’ve had both. The truth is I’d trade skill for youth or enthusiasm on most kitchen trips. There’s one wider-body girl whom I wouldn’t consider at most other clubs. Here, on her knees, she’s one of the best my dick has ever known. She was the one I took back in early March. She wasn’t the original plan. But once she started the massage between my jeans pockets, she had my attention. Once she pulled me through my zipper, she had my commitment for more cash. By then, the walk to the kitchen seemed almost predestined. The service seemed divine. Did I mention she has a pretty face? I look forward to seeing it again. Soon, I hope.

Was in NY for business and on a suggestion from NJBaller, i checked out BU. I was crazy busy with work, so wanted to relax a bit. I drove to spot, read reports about the area being sketchy, but i felt ok. The place is a dive bar. Upon entering, i see a mix crowd, young - old, black-white. And the girls are all over the radar too. From grandma to young’n. Fat to thin. So i pull up a chair by the “rail”, order a beer and before my beer comes, 2 BG approach me for $. I smiled and said no, i just got here, haven’t even got my beer. One left, but the other girl just stared at me. Trying to make me feel uncomfortable. So i just stared back. She left shortly after. Hindsight, this might of screwed me up. Shoulda just gave her a buck! But I literally hadnt been there for 5 minutes, they did NOTHING, no dance, no smile, no touching, NOTHING! Anyway, i look at the talent, see who im interested in. 2 girls stood out. The first, a way less hot version of Adriana Lima, about 15 lbs over weight but sexy face. The second, curly hair, nice ass...she never approached and was on opposite en of bar. The Lima chick approached 2x, tipped each time, grabbing tits the second time. Asked where can we get a dance. She said, in her Brazilian accent, no dance. I go home now. Then she said u wanna f@*^? As she giggled. Hell yeah! But the kitchen was busy, had a bit of a wait list. Big booty was in there, then big titty, then big booty again. So they called out last call. So didnt get a chance. Next time im in NY, ill have to check it out this brazilian club, again.

Stopped by yesterday around 3pm and it was surprisingly pretty busy. There were about 10 girls working ranging in age and size. If you’ve been here before you know none of them are going to blow you away with looks. I sat down and ordered a beer which was $5 I think. The dollar train was in full effect as usual. Had a nice conversation with the youngest looking Brazilian in the place. Bought her a beer and ended up getting a dance at the end. She wasn’t into bar side fun although it was in full affect by others. While waiting for the kitchen to empty out we danced a bit and she was getting me ready. It’s our turn and we go right at it without wasting any time. The dancing/grinding before hand got her pretty revved up. She gets up on the chair and lets me go at from behind and it was a nice sight. All in $70 for the dance and $30 between drinks and the dollar train.

Have not been to this place in a very long time, however nothing has changed. Same setup as everyone mentioned prior. Unfortunately I do not know the dancers names, but an older good looking spanish women (short, blonde hair) came over to me. I was sitting on the side of the bar by the pool table when this woman came up to me and asked me for a dance. I told her I wanted to drink my beer before making a decision. She then proceeded to take her tits out and have me rub them. She proceeded to unzip my pants and reach inside and pull out my cock right at the bar. She offered to give me a hand job at the bar for $30.00 . told her I didnt want to make a mess, so she put on a condom then bent over and gave me access to everything. Was a strange feeling to be at the bar with my cock hanging out for anyone to see, as she was not hiding anything. After the deed was done, I went outside to check on my car. When I came back, I went to get another beer when an even older spanish woman (taller, dark hair) came over and did the same thing to me again. I think I was in the place for less then 30 mins and exploded two times.

The good thing about this place is that the prices haven't changed for as long as I can remember. $6 beer ($5 during happy hour from 5-7) and $7 for wine or liquor. The bad thing is that the bathroom hasn't changed either! Lol. As long as I've been going here, I'm starting to know the urinal flies by name. Also, the bar stools are so wobbly it's a miracle they don't collapse when you sit on them. I reached down to grab the seat and move in a little closer to the bar and the meaty part of my fingertip got caught in the gap between the seat frame and the leg. As my weight shifted I got pinched real hard and now I've got a nasty blood blister where my fingerprint used to be. Regardless, Bottom's Up is one of my favorite dives. Yes, as others have said, it's very "hit or miss." I've seen some encouraging posts lately about the day shift so thought I would try it since I've been sticking to nights for quite a while. Well, this time was a "miss" (mostly). There were about 10 girls. Two cute heavy ones. Two grandmas who you might think were Polish, but they are Brazilian. Two forty-somethings that possibly look like sisters. An amazon with RBF. A skinny old gal who is in good shape, probably because she's the only one who actually does a pole show. Then there was a young pretty girl with long straight hair. Spent some time at the bar with her. A good barside grind but I wasn't really feeling like a trip to the kitchen. Had a few beers, went to visit my friends that were still buzzing around the urinal, and I was out. The bartender was very nice. I'll try daytime again because Bottoms Up can be like two different places from one day to the next and based on some recent reviews, there's fun to be had.

A couple of weeks ago I was out from 5:30 pm until 1 am in Irvington and Orange. I spent time at Vic's, Bottoms Up, Paradizio, Ember's, back to Paradizio, and then on to VIPs in Orange followed by what turned out to be no go at Exit 11 at about 1 am when I pulled up a cop car was parked outside I called it a night. This was my third visit to Bottoms Up. I want to like since I think it fills a certain need however I have yet to really strike gold. When I entered around 6:30 pm on a Thursday there was probably about 15-20 customers and 10-12 dancers. I ordered a beer and sat at the bar. Within the first 30 minutes of me being there at least 6 girls came around the inside of the bar seeking a tip. The bar is about chest height or higher for most girls. They literally just stand there and look at you. They are mostly from Brazil and don't speak English but their barside tip game is weak. I was ok giving each of them a $1 since this is how they supplement whatever they are making for the day. Important detail to add - these six girls mulling about the inside of bar from guys in their barstools - average looks of about a 4. Ouch! Just not hot. I hung around, ordered some more beer. Played pool with some guys from Honduras. I was there for about 90 minutes probably. I don't believe one girl approached me and I didn't proactively seek anyone out. I club a lot and not shy about expressing interest but it just never clicked this time. I am definitely interested in giving their private area a test drive if/when the opportunity presents. So, I left and continued my tour.... The next day en route to Newark airport I actually stopped back in. Entered at 1 pm and exited at 1:15. In the 15 mins that I was there on day two a girl came over, made my acquaintance barside and I left $20 lighter. Was she hot? Nope. Oh well, I wasn't picky since my flight was at 3:30.

After NJballa's review I thought I'd give the place a try since its not that far from me. Thursday 9:30 pm. I was looking for a quick, cheap in-and-out experience with the right lady. Place was relatively crowded with about 15 patrons and 10 or so girls. Very laid back place, people just hanging out. Only a couple seats at the bar so squeezed my way in and ordered a $6 Corona. As previously described, most of the women were 40+ with waists bigger than mine - never a good thing. I think they were all latinas with some having minimal english. There were 2 girls in their 20's - one was as thin as a rail with no ass and little top and the other was so unmemorable that I dont remember! The best looking of the older crowd caught my eye and we were having a staring contest even though she was hanging with another guy who was buying her drinks. I sat and fed the dollar parade which was light and sipped my beer waiting for the latina to excuse herself from the guy she was with and walk over. There really wasn't anyone else worth a trip to the kitchen. Unfortunately, I finished my beer before she came over and it really wasn't worth ordering another so I left. I agree with some of the other reviews, I guess this is hit or miss and you've got to be willing to bail, like I did if it's a miss! Sorry for the short review, but not much else to say - think of it more as a recent update.

So weather was nice this week and I decided to hit up good ole Bottom's Up. I have Pumma Santiago's cell so I gave her a call to see if she was working and after confirmation headed on over. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't. This club is a continual mind f*ck. Some days you go on and its great. Other times its pretty bad. Well today it was really great. Maybe its football season or one of the girls is telling her friends about the money to be made. Walk in same setup as I've always said. Bummed when I saw the fugly bartender. When does the hot one work I wondered? Pumma headed on over and I cautiously surveyed the room. To my amazement there were fewer grannies working on this Monday afternoon and in their place were 4 FOTB Brazilians. Not supermodels, but these were the type of girls you'd hang out with in Brazil on a vacation. You know the deal, you take them shopping, out to eat, beach hop, and at night bang thier brains out at night for the cost of a night on the town in NYC. Anyways, the new girls were easy 7's. One had the body of Sara Sampaio. Not the face, but the body. I could only watch in amazement as its very rare to see a latina dancer without plastic surgery or pregnancy scars. I estimated she has 3-4 months before some construction worker from irvington knocks her up. There were 3 other new ones who were just as hot. The regular hot girls didnt look to happy with the new competition, but I was in heaven. I went against better judgement and got dances with Pumma. She performed better than expected. Im guessing value is up due to the newer competition. I left with a smile. Great grind, billy joel, and frank sinatra for 70. ($50 plus room $20) My advice is to visit this place in the next 2 weeks. Have a solid back up as you may strike out. My advice is always clancys as option 2. And if you see a girl you like here get her number. The talent has the highest turnover rate out of any in NJ.

It was late afternoon early evening and i stopped by hoping it would be better than the last time when it was just 3 women over 50. I’ve tried bottoms up a few times and still haven’t seen whatever keeps bringing people back. Every time it’s just been much older women than I expected, this time one decent one but monopolized by the other guys. I had a beer and let a few of them say hello but man some of these old gals are aggressive. I tipped one lady for a brief dance, I’m sure I could have gotten whatever I wanted but decided against anything serious, but will try again hoping to get lucky next time.

Getting back into the swing of things after a long hiatus. I stopped by this place earlier this week. Was originally planning to head to clancys, but the traffic on the parkway was ridiculous so decided to pop into some irvington spots. My reasoning was that since it was such a long time that Ive clubbed regularly it wouldn't make me angry if the experience was bad. My plan was to visit bottoms up first spend $10 and then head to Vics spend $10 and then visit Clancys. Little did I know id just spend the afternoon here and drive home with a smile on my face. For those with a good memory you will remember my scathing review "Never Again" of this place back in March. Lets just say Im glad I didnt take my own advice. When I visited the place back in spring I came across 5 dancers who were all pretty fugly. This week's experience was totally different. There were 12 dancers, 3 were fugly grandmothers who should have retired a 20 years ago, 3 were older latina MILFs who were pretty hot 10 years ago and didnt save enough to retire. The remaining six were in thier 20s and 30s. 3 of them weren't hot and 3 were 7s. The bartender was also hot as well. Not runway hot, but a 32 year old brazilian milf who although dresses modestly cant hide her curves under the yoga pants. I found myself staring at her more than the other dancers at time. Well back to the afternoon. Its funny because my years of experience all came into play. Walk in and grabbed a drink to survey the scene. Immediately 2 of the older women come over to me to start up a conversation. I play it cool avoiding eye contact and telling them to come back after I have a chance to relax. In my early days I would held conversations with the older women to be nice. However, my experience has taught to quickly brush them off. They serve a purpose in every club and I learned it through the night. The older women and fuglies never went to the "kitchen" and made thier money by giving barside handshakes and coming by extra often for tips. The younger women easily make more money and avoid conflict with the more aggressive women who try to "claim" customers by sitting at the stool next to them. Brushing the fuglies away and staying focused on the girl you want always ensures you go home happy. After the older women went away, my gaze locked in on the group of 7s and one caught my eye for some reason. Later I learned it was because she looked exactly like instagram model Pumma Santiago who I follow. I wont share her name, as if you have some skill to use google and actually visit the club you will have a clear idea knowing who she is. She told me she dances on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons. Shame she doesnt work nights as I rarely get out of work before evening shift. In respect to the dance it was great. 20 to house and 50 to her. The five minutes did not seem rushed at all and my guess is these girls have thier "performance" down to ensure you leave with a smile. It had to be 15 seconds of a LD, 1 minute of "We didnt start the fire" followed by around 4 minutes of "New York, New York". Adding to the experience was that she was brazilians. Ive learned they all make you feel like the transaction of money is a donation rather than a payment. After you become experienced with them its hard to visit dancers of other countries whether it be USA, dominican republic, or europe. My only cons of this place have been said all the time. Bathroom is still a horror show and the kitchen/timing system could use a change. Not sure why they dont just charge a little more for using the room and remodel the kitchen. You could easily fit 4 booths in there. With a leather chair and a curtain this place would be the most popular place in NJ which i guess may cause unwanted attention.

I had read many reviews of this place as was expecting very little as I decided to make my first visit. I made a decision after getting pissed at my girlfriend, that I need a special type of remediation and I knew this place would offer that with a reasonable donation. So off I went. It was an easy drive, easy to find place. Parking was easy and close. I went on a Monday around 1:30 in the afternoon. In terms of neighborhood, it's Irvington. Deal with it . Seemed fine to me. Walked in, as it was very sunny outside I was immediately hit by how dark this place is. As I adjusted to the light and looked around, the dark thing is okay. I walked around to a spot at the bar where I thought I could get a good view of lovely ladies, the dark thing helped again as well. Mostly overweight or older ladies of various shades and builds. Sat at the bar, ordered a bottle of water and within seconds an older, okay looking latin lady came over and introduced herself by saying hi and by rubbing me through my pants. Liked her style. Liked how she was showing she had a use for her tongue. LOL. After a bit of touching and buying her a water we decided to visit the back room to explore the discussed and selected options. Went to the famous kitchen and she sang my favorite Billy Joel tune, without anything between the microphone and her lips until I was completely pleased in every way. She helped clean up the mess(she may have spit, I dont know or care) , we exchanged pleasantries and I left. I was not interested in anything more than that, just need a friendly songstress to release my tensions. All in, I made an 80 dollar donation to the club and the lovely songstress. There is no doubt I will be back the next I need to be helped out.

i went here a couple of weeks ago on a friday vics was just closing and i thought my next stop is bottom up arrived parked by the road side parking right next to the club i know there is parking behind but i felt safer parking next to the door . from outside you might think the club is closed but just swing the door open and you are in ...funny when you walk in all heads turn towards the door direction its like classroom ...anyway headed to the bar where the old man sits and a lady served me a cold corona ...by my side was a older looking lady with fat ass and kinda cute MILF ...she come over we started chatting she said she works out which i beleieve i could tell she looked fit for her age and the ass looked right like she does squats ...bought her a drink and her hands started feeling the big man downstair ...she quoted a amount since i wasnt going to there long i asked for her digits which she gave me for a OTC meeting but call her after 2 weeks i think she was going on vacation to DR ...which was true cause she posts on whatsapp alot in DR ...with sexy outfit by the waterside ...i will take her offer when she gets back ...will keep you posted in PM