I'm not the most experienced clubber but I've made the occasional visit for decades, and I try to be an active adjudicator. There are a lot of half-assed attempts at reviews which I reject outright, but a lot of gray areas between a poor review and what I think is a good one. I thought I'd post my own thoughts and see what other folks want to add on.
Simply put, I'm looking for an authentic review with a point of view and sufficient detail or information as to make it understandably specific to the club in question. Bonus points for showing some personality in the writing. If you took the club name off the review and what's written could apply to 100 other clubs, IMO it's not useful to me or other mongers.
It does not have to be a novel, and might not contain a detailed breakdown of the club layout, prices, or all dancers on a shift - could be more about a particular experience, aspects of the club not always talked about, 'insider information', stuff about ownership/management, etc.
It cannot be 1-2 sentences or generic. I know people are angling for free time, but if you don't have something unique or useful to share, don't waste my time. I don't want to read flowery AI generated garbage either. Just write like a normal human being and damnit use paragraphs.
I personally like brief layout info, dance variations and prices (in and out of VIP) and gotchas to be wary of in the club. Some people list dancer names, personalities, quirks, and descriptions of their dances and VIPs, and think that's sort of a requirement unless you have other really good info to share. Though linking specific acts to a specific name isn't always a good idea, I absolutely want a name, personality, appearance and how much you enjoyed their dances or VIPs. For me it helps to hear what kind of performance they give - fast/aggressive, slow/sensual, businesslike or GFE. I like when specific dancers get called out by name for being ROBs, sketchy with their prices or dance counts, or especially have bad personal hygiene so I know who to avoid if I go.
What else? I like to know what the club is like. Clean/dirty. Dark/well lit. How are the dancers dressed? Are the bartenders hot / friendly? Are there massage girls / what do they do / where do they do it / pricing. What music is playing - and how loud was it. What is the clientele like (I know it's touchy but it's helpful to know if the club clientele leans older/younger, white/black/Hispanic customers, etc. - Am I gonna feel out of place or maybe even unsafe at certain days or times?) Where is the parking and is there a cost? Does the area surrounding the club seem safe or sketchy? Is language and communication a problem?
For me I think of all of these things like a menu of review items to choose from, and if I can't supply some of them, look for others to add so the review is useful if not always the longest.
What do other folks there here?
Replies (15)Latest
The very short reviews are the easy ones to vote down. The tricky ones are the extremely positive reviews, that seem like potential shills. When I went to PoleKatz ( tuscl.net ), it was clear they had a preference for hiring very slim dancers. So, if that was your thing, your review might seem like s shill, even though it wasn't.
If a club has no recent reviews, I'll upvote if the pending review has at least some useful info. Otherwise, I won't upvote unless it has some info that's not in recent reviews of the club.
I'm happy to ignore the 1-10 dancer ratings as largely useless. PLEASE also describe in less subjective ways. Slim, curvy, thicc, bbw, estimated age. Many PLs also care a lot about race. Do your best to give stage names.
I'm also one who's against giving specifics about what happened during the dancing. Just call out ROBbing (lying about what she'll be OK with doing, overcounting songs, shorting time).
The thing I'm on the fence about is mentioning stage names, and also saying in general what extras might be available. The mentioned dancers might have to deal with accusations they are doing said extras.
If they’re like mine.
Flash4, that's a good informal guide. My overall grading standard is to gear it towards a 1st time club visitor. Buddy tweets about individual dancers belong in club discussions. I don't require an architectural blueprint, just enough details to convince me that you actually visited club. Review should be dancer centric. List number of dancers with rough percentage breakdown of ethnicities, builds, with maybe a few specific named examples. I don't favor outing a dancer to specific acts, but by all means out the ROB's. Not just the name, but physical description. Some dancers have same names, or similar sounding name. ROB might change her name, so a good physical description helps. Lastly, review isn't about you. It's cool that you had a wonderful time with ATF, but it's totally useless to new visitor if she's locked down or not in. Newb is interested in details about other dancers.
@PAWG_Patrol That's the bare minimum of a review to me. Anything else you add is up to you. Not in favor of attaching names to specific acts, though.
I go to strip clubs to see beautiful young naked ladies. Not for drinks, the layout or even necessarily dances. This info is usually available on the club's listing or website anyeay. So to me, a good review gives a detailed description of what the ladies actually look like. Are they young, really young, older? Are they white, black, Asian, Latina? Are they spinners, curvy, fat? Enhanced or natural? Covered with tattoos? Do they look like a celebrity or porn star? That's the info I really like to see in a review. Not if someone's a 10, which is too subjective. I also want to hear a reviewers experience the dancers. Did they cut a private dances short or promise something then reneg? Were they a dead fish in the CR? Did someone smell like rotten tuna when their g-string dropped in the private dance area? Is anything besides a dance available?;) To me these are the most important details I want to know before deciding to visit a new club. And also important updates for clubs where I'm a regular or semi-regular.
Good guide Flash. Covers all the bases. Personally I’m like Vajmon - primarily interested in the dancers and their looks and performance. I primarily go to clubs that have been reviewed many times, so I concentrate on the dancers more than anything else. I go to the Playhouse Burlington a lot, which has been reviewed literally thousands of times, so unless something novel happens I don’t see the point of another review.
Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. If a review gives good, unique information about the club, dancer, etc, but doesn't tell you what brand toilet paper they have, don't turn it down.
When I adjudicate a review, I ask my self two questions: Does this review give me enough information to decide whether or not I want to go there?, and, Does this review provide me with enough information so that I know what to expect when I get there? If the answer to both those questions is yes, I will approve the review.
A lot of problematic reviews could be avoided if reviewers read and followed Founder’s review guidelines. Perhaps the link to those should be featured more prominently on the review input page?
Minimalist reviews are easy to reject. Those that provide enough details that show the reviewer actually visited the club and provide useful information are similarly easy to approve. In between there is a grey area and I usually don’t adjudicate those. Of growing concern is the usually long review that provides few details, describes the place and dancers in glowing, but vague terms, praises the help with no names or concrete examples, and has perfect grammar. These are usually generated by Artificial Intelligence means. I usually check suspicious reviews with a AI text detector such as originality.ai .
I think having a healthy and reliable adjudication process is important to the health and usefulness of TUSCL.net. Adjudicators, be conscientious out there!
I'm unlikely to approve a review without a full list of prices. One thing I like to know that may be unusual is whether the club is a good place to watch a game. Let's face it, we need something to entertain us while we're waiting to make contact with an appealing dancer. I also like to know if I can get food and if the food is any good. I'm not saying that you should all care about these things, just that I do.
@loper What if the reviewer didn't eat anything, or only got individual songs?
@ilbbaicnl Obviously they shouldn't be rejected soley for that. I just iterated what I like to know about a place before taking the time to visit. Even if you don't get anything to eat, you can notice if other people are eating, and usually you can see what's on the menu. And, yeah, I never report on private room experiences or prices because I never get them.
@loper I really don't need a full list of prices, but the review should mention what the reviewer actually paid. Reviews that are generally vague about prices or state they don't remember the prices paid, do not provide any useful information and should not be approved.
The three things I look for in a review are id scanning warnings, dance prices and dancer lineup.
Given the recent ID scanning data leaks and the overall shadyness of the ID scan companies and club statff, ID scanning info needs to be publicized. I won't reject a review without this, but it is important to tell your fellow PLs about.
In terms of dancer lineup, many review throw out relatively useless stuff like "5-8s" or just a breakdown of ethnicity (which can be helpful, but isn't enough on its own). The important questions are spinner or fat? big booty or athletic? Natural or fake? Age range of the girls? Any with curly hair, dyed hair, afro-latina hair styles, etc? Goth? etc.
Additionally helpful info is what languages are spoken/will English be sufficient? Did the club feel safe (did the bouncers look trigger happy, did the girls wear too much perfume, were there cops nearby) and anything logistically relevant (hotels within walking or shuttle distance, subway/bike share info, parking fees, etc).
But really what matters is describing the girls and prices.
You see a lot of reviews with no lineup description. If nothing else you need that. Auto reject that shit on sight.
Join the conversation
Sign in to reply to this discussion.