Two different situations happened tonight, and I don’t really know how to handle one, while the other I’m kind of laughing about and hoping just blows over.
I’ll start with the one I consider less serious. I made another dancer cry. Completely unintentional.
I introduced myself to the door guy working Tuesday night, someone I’d never seen before. I figured it was smart to be on good terms in case I ever needed help. After a stage set, I sat with a customer who had tipped me and noticed someone with fluffy hair walk in. I had to go back on stage shortly after, and while I was up there, the door guy told me I needed to go talk to the fluffy-haired guy. He assured me the guy was “loaded.”
When I got off, I went to VIP with the guy I’d already been sitting with, then came back out and briefly sat with the fluffy-haired guy. Someone had left their purse and robe with him, so I knew better than to stay long. I just introduced myself and kept it moving. The door guy came up and told him I was the one he’d been talking about, which already felt like it had potential to be messy. Not even a minute later, I excused myself because I’m not trying to start drama, and I didn’t want to upset whoever had left their stuff there.
After another stage set, I noticed the girl who owned the purse and robe was sitting with him again. Then she grabbed her things and walked away. I took that as my cue and went back to sit with him. Eventually we went to VIP, and when we came out, we said goodbye and went our separate ways.
I went to the locker room to change, and that same girl was lying on the bench. I didn’t think much of it and went back out. There weren’t any new customers, so I ended up sitting with the fluffy-haired guy again until my next set. At one point I casually mentioned that the girl who’d been sitting with him earlier was in the locker room, maybe sleeping or drunk or something. I wasn’t trying to be malicious, just making conversation.
He told me she had confronted him, fully crying, because he went to VIP with me instead of her… even though she had walked away from him first.
I felt bad, but at the same time, it wasn’t really my situation to fix. At the end of the night, I was the second to last one out, and she walked into the locker room absolutely bawling. I honestly don’t know if I had anything to do with it, but I do feel bad. Not for going to VIP with someone she walked away from, but for the fact that she was that upset.
If any of you have ever had another dancer cry over a situation like that, I’d actually be curious to hear your stories.
Now for the second situation, which is… more of a predicament.
I have a part-time job in a customer-facing role. I’m not going to say what it is, but it’s some kind of retail setting. I was on a side stage during one of my sets, and someone came up and tipped me. I looked right at him and immediately thought, oh my god… that’s my store manager.
He asked me to come sit with him after my set. My stage name is the same name I use at that job, so there’s really no separation there. I tried not to stare, but I’m about 98% sure it was him. I was completely freaked out.
It’s not even a job I care that much about, but I never expected to be recognized by someone from that specific part of my life. I’ve done mainstream porn before, and I’m honestly just grateful he has no idea about that or anything else in my history. But now I have this feeling he’s going to be overly friendly or weirdly curious the next time I see him at work.
And I have no idea how to handle that. Do I pretend it never happened? Play dumb? Act like I don’t know what he’s talking about if he brings it up?
So yeah, just two random situations from what should’ve been a completely uneventful Tuesday night.
I guess this is my sex worker diary now. Read it or don’t, but it’s helping me get it out somewhere.
Thanks, and good night.
Regarding the situation with your boss, I've wondered myself how dancers process and deal with those kinds of chance encounters? Unless someone dances pretty far away from where they live and/or otherwise work, I guess it's bound to happen at some point?
Just thinking about it from my perspective as a club customer...if I encountered a dancer who I knew from another part of my life, and we both recognized each other, I'd probably want to talk to her about it. If our "other" relationship is important to keep intact, I'd want her to know that the fact that I happen to go to clubs, and that she happens to dance at a club, shouldn't be something that has to mess up our other relationship. She and I could then come to agreement on how we should proceed in order to preserve that other relationship, whatever that might mean in our particular case...
Having said all that, while I know that I could handle that kind of unexpected meeting in a mature way, I'm quite sure that not every guy would be able to do the same. Yes, there might be some inherent awkwardness that we would have to work through initially, but I wouldn't be worried about my own ability to communicate with her and move past our club encounter. But how many other guys out there would have that same maturity to not make things weird from that point forward? I honestly don't know the answer to that question...
Anyway, I don't know what your best option is in this case, but I hope everything works out well for you...