Accidentally Made a Dancer Cry + Might’ve Been Recognized by My Boss

Regarding the situation with your boss, I've wondered myself how dancers process and deal with those kinds of chance encounters? Unless someone dances pretty far away from where they live and/or otherwise work, I guess it's bound to happen at some point?

Just thinking about it from my perspective as a club customer...if I encountered a dancer who I knew from another part of my life, and we both recognized each other, I'd probably want to talk to her about it. If our "other" relationship is important to keep intact, I'd want her to know that the fact that I happen to go to clubs, and that she happens to dance at a club, shouldn't be something that has to mess up our other relationship. She and I could then come to agreement on how we should proceed in order to preserve that other relationship, whatever that might mean in our particular case...

Having said all that, while I know that I could handle that kind of unexpected meeting in a mature way, I'm quite sure that not every guy would be able to do the same. Yes, there might be some inherent awkwardness that we would have to work through initially, but I wouldn't be worried about my own ability to communicate with her and move past our club encounter. But how many other guys out there would have that same maturity to not make things weird from that point forward? I honestly don't know the answer to that question...

Anyway, I don't know what your best option is in this case, but I hope everything works out well for you...

The best way to handle it it, is to not handle it. He may feel the same as you. He may not have recognized you, or he may have thought the dancer looked a lot like one of his employees. React only if he brings it up plainly. Other than that neither of you were there that night and just work.

Reminds me of the time I walked into a club and saw my son's ex girlfriend on stage. 🤣🤣

It's more so that he tipped me and asked me to sit with him (at a club that's mostly extras). If he hadn't tipped me, that would have been fine and less weird for me. I work at this other job in a few days and I hope I don't get special attention or excessive greetings from him.

I think of it as like seeing a co-worker at a nude pool or beach. It happened to me. I realized like, hey - we're both here, so we have that in common. It wasn't like we snickered when seeing each other in the office hallway later. Nor did we necessarily need to "talk about it" before continuing on with our work lives.

I suspect that "the boss" (if it was him) would have his own reasons not to broadcast his SC interest to work colleagues. I'd suggest just consider it a matter of mutually respectful confidentiality and carry on... :)

As a customer I've always thought girls crying that a PL went with one dancer over another to VIP was manipulative. Its the same as me getting mad a dancer went to VIP with someone other than me while I'm there.

As to seeing someone in a club honestly I’d prefer to just kind of discreetly tell them it’s ok you’re not going to say anything and would appreciate the same. Then if I was comfortable seeing them I’d ask them do we know each other when we’re here lol. That’s true especially if you think you’re likely to see each other again there. One time as a customer I saw someone who was clearly upset to bump into me and I just stayed away from that club and left.

As to the other dancer that’s just part of clubs. Customers will choose who they want and I get that it’s a very personal service but it’s part of it. I see this more when a girl is really struggling to get by and honestly it doesn’t help. I struggle with that as a customer I try to be nice to the girls but usually I know who I want. I a look ways try to be polite rejecting girls but not waste their time but some you have to be pretty direct with. It’s almost always about money. These days I seriously doubt the dancers are into me.?

"If he hadn't tipped me, that would have been fine and less weird for me."

That makes sense. Even if he doesn't start behaving differently outside the club, and keeps everything strictly professional, is it still easier for you if he keeps his distance at the club? After thinking about this some more, I've met at least a few dancers over the years who would openly invite other people they already knew from outside the club to come see them at the club. But then I've probably met more dancers who have said that they would prefer to NEVER see someone in the club that they already know from outside the club.

I’ve told this story before - years ago I ran into girl in a club who grew up in my neighborhood and babysat for our kids when they were little. She had dropped out of college and her parents had stopped supporting her so she was dancing in the club to make some cash while she figured out what she wanted to do with her life. She probably thought that Broward County was far enough away from Miami Beach and she wouldn’t see anyone she knew, but we made eye contact and immediately recognized each other so I couldn’t act like I didn’t see her. So I went over and talked to her. She was really freaked out at first by seeing me, but after we had the whole “hey, how’ve you been, what are you up to these days” conversation, I said something to the effect of “I guess you know my wife about as well as I know your parents, so we’re cool, right?” She seemed very relieved and nodded and gave me a big hug, but it was still a little awkward and I’m glad I never saw her again in the club.

I also saw a co-worker come out of a VIP room with a known extras dancer at one of my local clubs. I just nodded in his direction, but he left immediately. He literally never spoke to me again in the five or six subsequent years I worked there, even when we passed in the hall. Weird.

I mean, what did he think I was there for? Tiddly winks?

I saw one of my favs for over 6 years. I was a reliable $2K+ for her every month. So it was a big hit to her when I moved to another state. Mostly because of the money, but also because (being one herself), most people she was close to were judgmental and high drama (unlike me). When dancers go overboard about "owning" a regular, it's typically about delusional thinking. But, if Fluffy and Crybaby's back story was like me and my fav, her reaction might have been understandable.
One of my favs was in college part-time. Guys she knew from classes would come into the club, even get lap dances with her, and almost never recognize her. Partly because she was an A student, and people assume only dumb women strip. Another fav had her husband's co-workers come into the club. One of them mentioned to her husband at work, about his wife having a stripper doppelganger. Her husband asked the guy if the stripper had tattoos, and he said yes. She has no tattoos. This is a woman with a slim-to-average build, very toned from daily yoga, but with DD breasts. Not easy to confuse with someone else. (To be clears, hubs knew she was a dancer, they'd met in the club.)

I was with my ATF (TUSCL gridget) at the Platinum Plus in Columbia SC. She only worked when I came to town. She had a full time job as an intermediate EMT and worked for am ambulance co in Augusta GA, an hours drive from Columbia.

Upon returning from the men's room she told me that the group of guys sitting next to us was a bachelor party and the groom was a co worker at the ambulance co.

The groom told her "I didn't see you here, you didn't see me here and I'm not going to ask you for a lap dance". So I asked her if she trusted him to not say anything and she said "Yes because I know his fiancee" And that was the end of it.

I've told this story before so ignore it if you have heard it. I finished my closing argument in a restraining order trail in Milford District Court, turned to take my seat and there she was, 4 feet away, a dancer from Rhode Island Dolls I had done 15 rooms with at least. She gave me a blank stare, making me think I was wrong. During the next hour, no acknowledgement from her that we knew each other. Won the case, left and when I got back to my car I said fuck it and went back in. She was there for her brother and told me that whenever she sees someone from the club outside, they are invisible to her, unless they come up and start chatting. You two do the same thing.

For the store manager, one extreme would be to quit the retail job. The other end of the extremes would be to take his money and do extras. If he has your real name and address from the retail company, that’s probably a bad idea.

Somewhere in the middle would be to pretend nothing happened or it wasn’t you. If confronted, you have to say you’re uncomfortable dancing for someone you know from real life. You can’t stop him from coming in the club, but you can’t set boundaries. You may not have the equity with the staff yet since you’re new in the club, but I’ve had dancers tell me they’ve had bouncers kick people they knew out of the club. That’s also an option, but if he recognized you, it’s probably too late for that without risking it getting confrontational.

@Hank_Moody thats nonsensical advice. Theres probably tons of dancers or sex workers out there who have either provided their real name and address to clients or vice versa or both.
Unless the manager has stalker vibes, its a non issue. I mean if he can access the name and address info he already has that info, so its a non factor unless your claiming providing the extras would make him turn into a stalker or would risk him reporting her to cops as a sex worker or something.

And the second example you posted about bouncers kicking people out of the club also doesnt make sense, unless you mean these were people the dancer had a pre existing issue with and they showed up to the club to bother her. I dont think most clubs would be cool with just kicking out anyone who knows a dancer from elsewhere unless they had a problem with the dancer and showed up to bother her. The club would probably have to at minimum refund their entrance fee in those cases

Seduce fluffy guy and then sue foe sexual harassment and retire.

You didn't make the other damcer cry, the customer who declined to go VIP with her made her cry. Or the door man who recommended you to him. Either way, she's a victim of her own emotions. I hope she does not hold it against you.

As for your boss, establish firm boundaries that the worlds do not collide. I used to be a retail manager. I hired a young woman to work for me. I later saw her moonlighting at Club Eden. I got dances. We met up for drinks. We met up for Netflix and chill. I lost a good employee, she had to look for another day job. Let this manager that you enjoy and would like to keep both jobs but must keep them separate.

Fluffy hair may have told crying girl he decided to go with Bubbleyum instead and made her feel bad. Especially if he did it in a rude way. She may have needed the money and regretted fiddle farting around and missing her opportunity.

Plus, this may have been the last straw in a bad few days for her. Anyway, I would say OP should stick to customers who are bald instead of these fluffy guys. :)

As far as the boss thing, seems like there is some good advice above.

Sorry, need to correct a typo

“ You can’t stop him from coming in the club, but you HAVE TO set boundaries.”

One girl cried over me dancing with a girl over her. She went on the "never again" list. I've also seen girls get angry with other girls because "I" chose that other girl over her; I wasn't coerced into choosing the other girl....she was the girl I preferred. Seems the bawling girl needs to find a new line of work. Rejection is a large part of the job.

...plus she left the fluffy haired guy alone. You can't abandon a guy and expect him to wait around indefinitely for you to come back.

WTF if fluffy hair? Like Trump hair?

Sorry Yum. I’d love to put in my two cents, but whenever I attempt to write something insightful, I just get hung up thinking about the “fluffy haired guy“ and can’t get any further.

rossanoferretti.com

You realize that your boss was also recognized by you. So there’s that. If either of you should be embarrassed being seen “there” (and you shouldn’t!) at least you’re even.

• unless you're in a job requiring moral high ground, who really cares?

They called it Mutually Assured Destruction during The Cold War.

Thanks for reminding about college times/Poli Sci

Is Bob Ross (the hush voice PBS painter) still alive? That's what I think when I hear fluffy hair

@sfr we in the TUSCL geezer contingent lived through The Cold War, didn't just read about it.

Bob Ross died a while ago…

I would say the fluffy haired client I spoke about resembled a younger Bob ross, but not white.

Thankfully, the supervisor I spoke about was not at work yesterday when I was there. But I decided if he were to bring up seeing me, I would remind him of the measly wage I'm earning per hour and simply leave it at that 😂

@BubbleYum: "I would remind him of the measly wage I'm earning per hour and simply leave it at that"

Perfect. 🤣