Do you ever feel bad about rejecting a dancer?

23 comments

• jablake

  •

  16 years ago

  I would deal with it by feeling depressed. :(
• mmdv26

  •

  16 years ago

  Stick to your plan. The shunned dancer understands what's going on, and she knows it's part of the business. But from her standpoint it never hurts to ask!! Many years ago the girl I had said no to so many times came up to me and said, "You don't like me do you!" I felt terrible, so I told her I liked her just fine, and why don't we go do a dance. Several dances, lots of DATY and a BBBJ later, I had a new fav. We were friends for several years - even after she quit dancing and got married.
• chandler

  •

  16 years ago

  If the newer girl came around first and asked for dance, I would say yes. When I have favorites at a club, I may go with the intention of seeing them, but I'm always open to other hot strippers who show up. I don't turn them away because I'm waiting for a fave with seniority. Some of the greatest times I've had in clubs have come when I've gone intending to see one girl and wound up discovering another.
• BobbyI

  •

  16 years ago

  I would say it's like ordering food. You go for lunch and notice a new intriguing item on the menu, but then there's an old favorite. Which do you go for? I won't feel any more "loyalty" to a stripper than to your usual lunch time meal. Nor would I feel obligated to try something just because it was new. Just do whatever you feel like, it's not a big deal in the end.
• ozymandias

  •

  16 years ago

  Well, I never really have "favorites". To me, strippers are meat-on-a-stick: if they look good, smell good, and taste good, then I guess that's a "favorite" ;) If I'm sitting with a girl, and she leaves (to "freshen up" or whatever) and a new girl I like as well or better comes along, I'll buy dances from the new girl. It's all about ME if I'm at a club, and one thing I absolutely will not do is sit around waiting for my "favorite" to come back or decline dances from hot girls out of some kind of silly loyalty. If a girl I don't like asks to dance, I have no problem at all saying "no", or even "get lost" if she tries to persist. Same goes for those girls who just come sit down without asking, hoping to "guilt" you into a dance if she stays long enough. I'll just say "not looking for company now, thanks" and generally they get the hint. Guys, you're the CUSTOMER, not a guest. Remember that! O.
• parodyman-->

  •

  16 years ago

  I think Ozy covered it.
• Clubber

  •

  16 years ago

  I see no good reason to be loyal to a favorite. Does she ONLY dance for you? Of course not. It is her business to dance for others and therefore, it should be duty as a customer, to get dances from whoever you wish. Now, if she is more than just a "favorite", then I would imagine you two have discussed your relationship. You two should have decided your limits and such, but for here, if she wishes to keep dancing, she certainly can not stop dancing for others.
• FONDL

  •

  16 years ago

  I think most dancers actually prefer if you buy dances from other girls too. It makes them nervous if a guy is waiting for them and just buys dances from them only - they're also likely to think less of you for it. I often had a favorite, but I always bought dances from other girls when she was busy, if there was someone else available who appealed to me.
• uscue13

  •

  16 years ago

  There was one girl that always asked me for dances and I always declined. Not good at the stage tipping dances so I never went for a lapper. I always wanted to get one anyway since she asked everytime I saw her and eventually I did during a 2for1 a month ago. Even though it was 2for1, one of the biggest wastes of money (and definitely the biggest waste of two-fer) I ever had. The only other one that hastles me is rude everytime I decline so no bad feelings there. All in all, you're there for you. I found my instinct on which girls to get dances with has pretty much been spot on. Just like this hottie with a lot of energy and a great body at my favorite club that I will never get a dance with because her stage tipping dances are literally three seconds where she motorboats the tits in your face and that's it. No idea why anyone takes her to the back with that kind of preview.
• shadowcat

  •

  16 years ago

  Yes. She has treated me well but I had already promised my next dance to another favorite that was higher up on my list. She came and sat with me while the other was on stage. When my favorite dancer got off stage and came over the dancer that I was sitting with said "I know that he already promised you the next". I said "Bad timing. I will catch you next month". And I will. Plenty of shadowcat to go around.
• Ironcat

  •

  16 years ago

  Last time I was in a club I was sitting with a very hot dancer who was complaining about how slow it was this particular afternoon. We went back for some dances and afterwards walked back to the table. As we were walking through the club I noticed the few other patrons eye-balling her and said "Hey, these guys look like they would be game for some dances". Her response was "Nah, they are not my type". The bottom line is that dancers are picky too, so why should I feel bad about rejecting a dancer - it just business
• zorro

  •

  16 years ago

  I never feel bad about rejecting a dancer. If you let yourself get roped into being an exclusive customer for a dancer, you are going to miss out on a lot of potential fun. I have favorites, and I get dances from them, but if there is someone new I want to try, I do it, guilt-free. If your favorite pouts about it, great, maybe she'll try harder next time.
• how

  •

  16 years ago

  No, I don't feel bad about rejecting a dancer, because I decline their requests for dances with respect and courtesy.
• evilcyn

  •

  16 years ago

  Don't ever feel bad about telling us no... All I ask is it is done nicely.. If I am told no, I accept it and move on, or ask if there is someone else you would like to have dance for you... The better time someone has, with me or another girl means they will be back another time... I have had customers who came in for someone else, I help them out with who they want.. Down the road sometimes it pays off, they end up maybe sometime getting a dance because you helped out to make sure they had a good time instead of bagering them or being a bitch.
• SuperDude

  •

  16 years ago

  Ozy has it right. Always diversify your portfolio.
• casualguy

  •

  16 years ago

  I have felt bad on a few occasions. I'm usually over it after 3 seconds and looking at another girl if not sooner. Most of the time I felt bad was because I was about out of money and would have liked to have tried her out or gotten a dance but I already spent too much money or didn't have enough. A couple of times I told a dancer I was about out of money but they could dance for me for free if they wanted. They declined. I didn't feel bad at all in those cases. One time I remember getting a bit angry. I told a dancer no, no, no, no thanks, etc. etc. several times. She didn't leave. Instead she stayed and argued. I left the table after about 12 to 15 minutes. The club was mostly empty at the time (early) so I guess she was being very stubborn by staying with me. I didn't feel bad at all about rejecting her even though she initially made it sound like she wasn't going to make any money dancing if I didn't get a dance from her. A few dancers don't know when to leave and come back later.
• casualguy

  •

  16 years ago

  Speaking about the dancer I mentioned above that argued with me for almost 15 minutes after repeatedly telling her no, she never asked me for a dance again. Then I think she quit working at that club within a couple of months. I thought she looked dejected or depressed that whole night after she argued with me. Maybe she was new and didn't realize arguing with a customer for several minutes is the wrong approach. Getting customers angry won't get you too far.
• Tucker40

  •

  16 years ago

  Rejecting is such a harsh word. You're just saying "no." Or "no, I'm waiting for favorite dancer," or "I usually dance with favorite dancer, maybe next time." Sometimes I go in expecting to spend X amount on a favorite and I'll set aside a lesser amount for a new dancer or lesser favorites. I've also avoided a favorite club because I wasn't in the mood to see a favorite (that can happen too) or didn't want to get more than a couple dances or maybe just enjoy a stage show. Outside the club, strippers are all people but inside the club they're independent contractors. Walk that fine line of business and pleasure and things are usually fine. Ironically I suspect most dancers would reject advances from the typical strip club patron (I include myself in that category)if they met in a shopping mall, karaoke bar etc.
• motorhead

  •

  16 years ago

  I've never felt bad for the dancer but once I did feel bad for myself. When I go to the club to see my ATF, I am exclusive to her for the night. One night, about 6 months ago, another girl asked me for a dance. She is one of the hottest strippers I have ever seen anywhere and is everyone's fave. She had never asked me for a dance before.....I was waiting for my ATF so I turned her down. I haven't seen her since and I hear she has quit the biz. Now, I do feel bad for missing my only opportunity with her.
• BuckMcNutter

  •

  16 years ago

  I'm always polite and say NO Thank You. I know how the rejection can get to them. I compare it to going dancing myself and when girl says NO to me I bum out. And it doesn't even cost her $25 to be polite and have one dance with me. Its now my turn !! IT JUST BOTHERS ME WHEN THE DANCERS won't leave or keep coming back after three NO Thanks.
• Tucker40

  •

  16 years ago

  David, why would your ATF mind if you got a dance with another dancer? I know of many dancers who prefer that because she's sharing the wealth. It's all a game. It's ALL for fun. If anything your ATF might try a little harder when you do connect that night, to make she's not being knocked off the mountaintop.
• motorhead

  •

  16 years ago

  Tucker, I have gotten a few dances from time to time with other girls and my ATF has been pretty unhappy about it. Last time I saw her, she had even found out from another dancer that I been to another club and bought a lot of dances, and she got kind of pissed. I never had an ATF before - I always enjoyed sampling as many as a I could. I guess I have fallen in the trap of keeping her happy - but considering her attitude lately, perhaps I should take your suggestion.
• Tucker40

  •

  16 years ago

  David, I've never had a dancer get mad at me for enjoying the company of another entertainer I have had one expect a bit too much whenever I visited. I was starting to think of her as a "stripperwife" and stopped visiting that club for about a month. When I texted he about stopping by, I'd learned she'd left that club. She even suggested I try a "friend" of hers if I went to the old club, which is a clear playing field again. The first time I visited her at the new haunts, I spent less because there's less privacy (she actually charged me less per dance too 2/$35 as opposed to $20 each). I actually see the value in keeping an ATF or any dancer happy. It leads to more fun in back for both us and them. But if your ATF is expecting you to drop all your entertainment money on her, maybe it should be OTC -- that way she could save the DJ cut and the bouncer cut and the per-dance fee they gig her for too.