Weird Jobs

Heavy construction equipment repossessions for a bank owned leasing company. I would get paid to retrieve expensive equipment from contractors that were behind on their payments to the lease or loan company. Never had a confrontation with a person usually would get the equipment just turned over, but we did have a few times where dogs were roaming the yards where equipment was being kept. One time I was chased by a few Rotweilers, but fortunately was able to stare them down. Money was excellent I bought my first new car three months after starting that job.
I also worked summers at Jones Beach as a lifeguard, money wasn’t the greatest but the job was great for a young guy, met lots of hot women there.

This rick’s job prospect at birth was a to be the Lion King. But I decided to pursue my inner rick. After partying with my childhood bud - the coolest warthog and meerkat in the frickin’ world - I discovered a bottle of Jack. Okay…there was some rich hunter that had a bottle of Jack and we stole it from him for shits and giggles. Also stole his laptop, which is where I discovered TUSCL and began posting.

Anyhoo, one sip of that Jack changed my life and shift my career from future King of the Beasts to suave wearer of stylin’ suits and certified horndog (more accurately, a hornfelid). In other words, I became a frickin’ rick. That’s my job and that’s my life…ROAR!!!

@skibum, you and I had similar experiences. I worked for a private investigation company. In addition to chasing insurance fraud people, we did product liability.

The worst was a scum bag that was dealing drugs and made multiple disability claims against construction companies, an extremely violent individual. Another was a police officer who claimed to be injured on the job, because he was so hard to keep up with and his buddies would curb kick us when he caught us watching him.

Product liability included a motorcycle cop who crashed his motorcycle. The radio pack had come loose and threw him off balance.

My worst job was a ditch digger in South Lake Tahoe on Kingsbury Grade. We cleared the sand off the roadway. I didn’t mind the heavy labor, but the boss was the definition of a complete a$$h0le.

in high school a friend of mine's father was a private investigator. He hired us to stake out persons suspected of cheating on their wives. We some times had to follow them to see where they were going. We never got bothered by the police. If questioned by police all we had to do was tell them who we were working for.

There's a common thread emerging about surveillsnce work and strip club voyeurism.
I moonlighted as a mystery shopper (drinker) at bars and clubs in Chicago. The company was owned by a CPD detective on disability. To avoid insurance fraud by running his own company while on CPD disability, he would ask to meet in different places. One time, he asked me if I could follow him while he drove around to see if he was being followed. His little sister, 6'1" and pushing 300# with tits as big as my head was his office admin, she would call me on her night shops and beg me to come with her. Eventually, I stopped getting assignments after I shot her down too many times. It was only a second job, just a part-time gig, but I miss getting paid to drink and flirt with bartenders.

^how hot was the sister?

I made popsicles for a day while going to college. In my first year of college, I had 8 or 9 jobs for a few days to a couple of months until I found the job I did for the rest of college.

At one job, the supervisor said I had to stay for a mandatory afterhours meeting. I told him I have too much homework and getting through school was more important than his job. He didn't fire me but I ended up leaving a few weeks later anyway. In that job, I was working in the yard at a home improvement center loading customer vehicles with their purchases.

Inspecting animals, including their internal organs, for any signs of disease or infection. Definitely one of the toughest jobs I ever worked but it gave me an appreciation for safety of our food supply.

Going to tenement buildings in some of the worst areas of Brooklyn (NYC) to determine whether certain signs posted in the building and basement were not removed or vandalized.

My kids were always amazed at all the jobs I had, starting with delivering papers when I was 12.

I guess the weirdest job i had they call a “bird dog” on the Wildwood NJ boardwalk. I would practice carnival games and get real good at them and then act like a regular winning customer to make the games look easy and attract suckers. It entailed a little acting too. I’d yell “I won!” I did it one summer when I was 18.

^ Very cool.

I used to drive some rich lady named Daisy around the south. She was a huge cunt.

as a teenager after I got my driver's license I did a car paper route. would drive about 70 miles a day 7 days a week. wound up putting three quarters of the income back into the car just to keep it running. I was a slow learner. finally got a job working in a lawn sprinkler manufacturing plant. did okay there until I joined the Navy in 1969.

^having a hooptie which increased my dispensary income to 75% of my take-home is why I was an early adopter of bicycle commuting in Chicago during college break. It was 10 miles to work and 10 miles home, rain/sleet/shine, in rush hour traffic on six lane high-ways. I slimmed so much I could put on the jeans I wore in winter without unbuttoning them, but stayed the same weight. Since then, I have never owned a vehicle which wasn't new. My last truck I paid cash because the interest rates under Brandon were too high.

In 1968 my draft board granted me a 1-O classification, i.e. conscientious objector. I wound up working in the morgue of a hospital helping do autopsies. If no one died i had no work to do. I'd remove the brain from about half of the bodies. I'd always take out the testicles, and one time I took out a guys eyeballs. I had a great time, didn't go to viet nam and didn't go to Canada.

You always took out the testicles?

During college I worked at a wholesale produce company. My job was to go in at like 4AM, before the trucks were loaded, and make up the "shorts" which meant orders that were less than a full case. So if a restaurant needed just a few bunches of bananas, I'd put them in a bag or small box and write the customer's name on it. But what made it interesting is that nearly all the shorts were made from product stolen out of full cases. For example, I'd flip a box of oranges upside down, pull the bottom out of the box, take a few oranges, slide the bottom back into the cover, turn it upright, and put it back on the stack to be sold as a full box.

It may not seem like it, but it took some skill and practice to do it well. Had to make sure when someone opened the box normally, the product didn't sag or look like it was missing anything. Also I had to work fast, because to get a dozen oranges, I'd have to open like four boxes. We loaded around 15 trucks a day, maybe 25 orders per truck, and each order probably had an average of 3 or 4 short items at about $2 each, so it really adds up. We did it for almost every product. Carrots, grapes, potatoes, cantaloupes. The easiest was the green leafy stuff like bunches of spinach or parsley. You could take a lot out of a box and just fluff it up.