Since some people like quotes

i should have listened.

I have that movie on vhs. Damn I'm dating myself.

Surprised CJKent didn't post a comment here

"poor sweet helpless girl"

sounds more like he's battling his inner demons from rape or similar than just regular sex. I'd be with the good conscious.

This definitely demonstrates how our social sensibilities have changed in 40 years. Potential rape of an underage, unconscious girl, and calling someone a “homo” used to be funny!

^And the movie was set in and based on the writer’s experience as a frat boy in the early 60s.

It’s amazing how certain things were “acceptable” yesterday but no longer are. I’m most cases that may not be a bad thing, but it still should be okay to enjoy a movie how ever out of touch it is today, and I’ll still watch a Duke of Hazard rerun mainly just to see Daisy Duke.

'Start a front room make out session by feeding her cash, make sure you have salt, pepper, and condiments to make the cash a bit more palatable then lead her to the back room when your pants are ready to come down. Don't confuse taking your pants down with defecating and don't walk with your pants around your ankles or you might fall on your face.'

TheeOSU

8/15/2022

Yeah the devil and the angel on his shoulders.

I try to find a video clip for that but I can't

SJG

In My Dreams -- School of Rock

www.youtube.com

Look what I just found:

www.onlinepianist.com

"I love it when they call me Big Poppa

Throw your hands in the ay-uh

If you's a true playa..."

• Notorious BIG

Deep Thoughts

By Jack Handey

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why

several of us died of tuberculosis.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word

itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words -

"mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's

why so is mankind.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they

don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some

good ideas.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned

him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped

skin Bob."

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is

they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff,

then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What

was THAT?!"

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite

and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny

plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like

ambition.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors

came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a

good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger,

screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I

guess I'm a coward.

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every

culture, is the story of Popeye.

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if

they ever press charges.

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no

choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save

a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at

them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of

striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was

free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending

he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've

wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went

to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was

very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A

HUMAN HEAD!!

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been

painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make

a child look like a deer.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?

We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his

head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who

makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm

myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell.

When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left

on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's

head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot

better, and no harm done.

If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets

right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.

If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to

keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build

to that.

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe

you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey,

free dummy.

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I

bet you can really see it in those genitals.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones

neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh,

because what is that thing.

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he

made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she

disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to

dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he

told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."

The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me.

I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and

drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some

trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played

whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called

"Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I

guess some things never leave you.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is

"God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to

tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world

is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding

on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta

said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should

write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started

saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I

thought I was lazy!

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take

my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old

burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He

cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty

good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was

getting pretty late.

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think

liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong,

though. It's Hambone.

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what

her dinner tasted like.

We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we

wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he

picked up in town.

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to

town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I

thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was,

and how I named him Flint.

If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real

embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first

instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she

fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends

are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you

were swimming.

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school

we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one

of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a

bear.

Damn OSU,that was hilarious,lot of typing though!!

@TheOSU. I bet Greta can't be attributed to a single one of those quotes.

dipshitscrub, can't control his impulse to ask for another bitch slapping because he's too ignorant to bitch slap himself.

Over 150 ignores = a zero credibility idiot.

Take that power washer out of your mouth and stick it back up your ass punk!

You shoot your mouth off here to cover for your self loathing and because everyone would give your punk ass a beatdown if you tried it in real life.

The old men and illegals need your services at your interstate 10 gloryhole, get back to work and do the only thing you've ever been capable of, swallowing sperm and letting it germinate in your ass.

Speaking of, did you say you want more?

www.youtube.com

Well if we go by IQ you'd qualify as under 10 dipshitscrub but I don't swing your way and I'm not interested in a pathetic punk's ass but even if I was interested you're so booked up at your glory hole you surely wouldn't be worth the wait.

Now get back to your hole boy, the old men and illegals want serviced. DIPSHIT FAGGOT!

So tell us dipshitscrub, do you spit or swallow?

^ Hey OSU I can’t speak for the illegals, but us old men do way better than Desert Turd Blossom.

25, I'm sure you do. I was speaking about his regulars at the I-10 gloryhole.