"I am Bond, James Bond, Junior..."

5 comments

• ThisOldManPlayed1

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  17 years ago

  I once went into a strip club and portrayed myself as a Baptist minister during one of my road trips. Only sat with one dancer and got her to believing it. I actually got her to pray with me at the table before she got up on stage, asking for guidance during her stage performance. She bought it completely and came back and said she thinks the prayer we did helped her confidence on stage. I almost carried this type activity on with the same dancer for a potential lap dance, but almost broke out laughing during the first prayer! No telling what I could have "prayed" her into on the lap dance!
• driver01

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  17 years ago

  One of my old college fraternity "brothers" used to do the same thing. He tried every line from "I'm retired at 31" to "I work for the CIA"...and everything in between. He claimed the two that yielded the most results were "I'm a widower" and "I'm gay"... I always told him he was full of shit. He tipped very generously and dropped a lot of money on dancers. So he reaped what he sowed if you ask me... But he thought that some dancers responded to whatever particular plight he was selling, and human nature is evident even in dancers. So when he played the lonely widower who'd never been with anyone but his wife, some dancers just ate it up. He claimed the gay persona elicited a peculiar sort of challenge for some dancers- kind of like the Sienfeld episode where Elaine tries to get the gay guy to "switch teams"..lol. Seems a whole lot easier to simply pay the girl and be done with it, but that's just me.
• jimmyblong

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  17 years ago

  I'm guilty of this especially if I'm out of town. Its hard to keep up the lie where you're a regular. Once i slipped my wedding ring onto a necklace I was wearing and convinced a dancer that my wife had died of cervical cancer and that it was still way to painful to date or have sex with other women and that I only came to strip clubs to make sure that I was still alive down there. I actually moved her to the point of tears before getting a lap dance form her. I'd hoped that the story might elicit more mileage but she stayed within the rules of the club which were pretty tame. The other lie I've told is that my job is that of a professional driver. That I get to drive different cars for tv commercials on closed courses and through the desert and whatever. If you watch any sports you see the same commerecial 100 times so its easy to talk about how you got to drive the new whatever through the streets in the middle of the night going 120 mph. Since the drivers are never shown its hard to disprove. A buddy of mine used to say he a professional hockey goalie from whatever team was visiting that night. Goalie's wear the mask most of the game so its hard to bust him on it. I don't know a damn thing about hockey so I could never pull this one off.
• ThisOldManPlayed1

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  17 years ago

  driver01 - LOL. Fact is, I am a 'widower' and if the "relationship" talks comes up with the dancer, I'm truthful about my status. But, it sure hasn't helped me get better mileage!
• driver01

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  17 years ago

  LOL...As I said, I called bullshit on my buddy many many times. I maintain to this day that it was his cash doing the selling not his creative (or not so creative-lol) imagination. But he's a dreamer-- that's part of why he's a good guy to hang out with...plus he likes to show off and pick up the tab. And I let him because I'm a giver and he needs to feel like a bigshot. Damn, it's tough being so considerate of others:)