Please don't judge me, give suggestions

avatar for sclover14
sclover14
I'm a brown Asian(Indian) in my late 20's and came to US in 2016. In India there is no culture of Strip clubs(SC) and I didn't know that SC's existed until 2017. After that I started going to clubs and I enjoy travelling spending time, having some fun with the dancers. I visited clubs in OH, MI, TX, FL, NC, SC, OR, WT, NJ, NYC. I want to have a honest discussion here.
Now to the main point, I unconsciously have preference towards most races of girls except AA. I don't like this, I tried changing this but unsuccessful. I won't have this preference or any problem working with, making friends or whatever the case except sexual encounter. If there are 10 AA ladies in the club, I might like 1 girl and I would probably like 5-6 girls compared to other races. I tried having dances with many AA girls but the satisfaction would not be the same.
I literally want to change this but don't know how, any suggestions are appreciated. And do you think having this kind of preference for sexual life is okay?

34 comments

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avatar for 48-Cowboy
48-Cowboy
3 years ago
You like who you like. Just go with it
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
3 years ago
There's no need for you to change - strip-clubs are about getting w/ the girls you wanna get with - everyone has their innate preferences (one likes what they like) - sometimes those preferences change over time whether it's a permanent change or temporary - I myself I'm a pale-white Hispanic-guy but 90% of my strip-clubbing over my 20-year clubbing-career has been in all-black clubs b/c I've always been more attracted to the black-woman's figure.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
Sexual attraction is supposed to be highly subjective. Don't sweat it. Also, the harder you try to actively change something like this, the more likely you are to fail.

It's possible that the moment you stop worrying about this will be the precursor to your seeing or meeting an AA woman who blows you away... perhaps literally.

Don't sweat it.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
If a Tamil woman with a dark complexion was working as a stripper, would you also find her unattractive? If so, you may have a more serious problem, a sense of inferiority relative to those with light complexions.

We'd all be much happier if we were sexually attracted to those with compatible personalities, regardless of physical appearance. But people can rarely, if ever, will themselves to feel attraction when they don't.

It's part of a being a customer that you will not feel attracted to many or most strippers, and you must politely turn them down, and disappoint them. It's part of their job to handle the disappointment.

You unfortunately will find that strippers in the US, of any race, may be wary of you. Many South Central Asian men get used to how desperate sex workers are in their home countries, and assume strippers have a similar level of desperation.
avatar for drewcareypnw
drewcareypnw
3 years ago
While I agree with most comments above along the lines of “don’t worry about it, have fun and enjoy what you enjoy”,it occurs to me that there is a flip side to this. If you think about it, there is no better place that a strip club to try out your attraction to other groups that you might not normally interact with. Give enough girls of a certain type a try, and you might find the thing you didn’t know you liked. Try switching up body shapes, bust size, hair style, pitch style, etc. I was alway into curvy white brunettes. Ok CHUBBY white brunettes with great big fun bags of joy lol. The AA girls of a similar shape didn’t do much for me. However, I gave a tall slender AA named Quinn at my local club (Sands/Pandora) a try, and found out that I am way into tall slender AAs. Especially if they’re sweet and dirty. I don’t like tall slender white chicks, I wouldn’t get a dance from one. Another thing I found out trying AA dances… AA girls have softer squishier boobs than white girls, and I love it. There is something magical about AA tits that the other races can’t deliver on. I never would have known this was a thing without trying some AA dances, and I think from this experience one should expect to find different things interesting about dancers from different races. We’re not all just carbon copies in different shades after all. So, I suggest trying a bunch of AA girls, and looking for the thing about them than gets you excited, don’t expect them to have all the same characteristics of their Latina, Asian, white, etc. counterparts. Worst case: if you utterly fail you will have had a lot of lap dances, and that not a bad thing. Happy punting.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
3 years ago
at long as you do not prefer goats, you can choose who ever you want.
avatar for SanchoRG
SanchoRG
3 years ago
Do you want to change how you see them because you're curious, or because you think by not being attracted to them you're somehow in the wrong? Cause nobody has to apologize for anything when it comes to sexual preferences (with humans)
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
3 years ago
@sclover14

I will play along and answer your question;

Q: do you think having this kind of preference for sexual life is okay?

A: I think having a racist preference for sexual life is not okay.

As far as we all know racism is a constant and cruel reality in India and all the countries that were colonized by the British Empire.

You became and adult in that environment; you harbor racist sentiments because of attitudes you brought with you to America and you are even adopting the racism of the USA who is as racist as Britain 🇬🇧

Attitudes of Indians in the USA toward African-Americans seem to be as much about how they perceive themselves on the “color bar”.

You look down at Africans-Americans as an inferior species, because you learned it from the British when they colonized and occupied India, the fact is that there are many Indians who are as dark or darker than some Africans.

The dominated communities absorbed the aesthetic standards set by race by the British during centuries of colonialism and now by the USA centuries of Imperialism

The reason I said it not okay for you to have a racist preference for sexual life is because you are not being able to truly appreciate and possibly enjoy having a relationship with an African-American woman.

It might take time and effort on your part to educate yourself and get rid of your racism, and truly believe that “it is never too late to give up your prejudices”
avatar for mike710
mike710
3 years ago
I usually go to clubs by myself and sometimes, even in busy clubs, it's just not my night to find someone I would prefer to hang out with.

That being said, on occasion, I've allowed myself to be open to girls I would normally shut down right away. Sometimes, when you engage in conversation, a girl you wouldn't normally be attracted to becomes more attractive from a simple conversation.

In the recent past, I've had fun with women that I would normally not choose and chase away. Not always open to this but it can lead to fun.
avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon
3 years ago
We like what we like. I'll gladly take some AA hotties off your hands.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
3 years ago
Racism lol. So every black woman that says she prefers black men is a racist CJ? You, like all progressives, are so fucking stupid its almost beyond comprehension. Here is how a normal guy determines sexual attraction: Look....and if your dick gets hard ....you're attracted. Not fucking rocket science. I like spinners, but in the unlikely event some fat chick makes my dick hard; then I am attracted to her.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
3 years ago
What ever CJKunt posted assume the opposite is the correct answer
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
3 years ago
^
^
“The straitjackets of race prejudice and discrimination do not wear only southern labels. The subtle, psychological technique of the North has approached in its ugliness and victimization of the Negro the outright terror and open brutality of the South.”

~ Martin Luther King Jr.

avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
I think it's a troll thread.

It all depends on why you find African Americans unattractive. And they come in as wide as range of colors as Indians.

I've had a darker tan than the natural color of a few African American girls I fucked.

I think this thread is trying to bait people into saying race js a preference and not being attracted to African Americans isn't at all racist
avatar for doctorevil
doctorevil
3 years ago
“ You look down at Africans-Americans as an inferior species, because you learned it from the British when they colonized and occupied India, ”.

How the fuck did he do that when the British left India 50 years before he was born? CJK has got to be the dumbest shithead on this board.
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
The same way American racism is shaped by slavery and colonialism.
avatar for Rod8432
Rod8432
3 years ago
Welcome to the SC world, young grasshopper. Seems you've made much progress across many states in your relatively short tenure. Way to go!

Re sexual attraction, no explaining is necessary. It's like trying to convince yourself you enjoy driving Volvos when you reflexively love BMWs. Others seem to like them, right? But that makes no difference. You can be a passenger in an Uber Volvo just fine, but when it comes to what you personally want to drive, don't fight the feeling. You'll never will yourself to enjoy something you don't automatically and viscerally connect with deep in your gut.

That said, I have problems with BBWs, and even mildly plump dancers. I've been scolded by many who say I shouldn't be so judgmental, that it's bad to like Barbie doll girls, that some guys love big-booty women, there's more cushion for the pushin', etc, ad nauseum.

Tall slender babes with flat stomachs, natural breasts, no tats, and no baby damage - that' my ticket. So much so, I no longer spend money on dances/VIPs from women I don't find attractive. This is the way...
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
3 years ago
@sclover14

You should know the history of current racism in the world dates to the 15th century, it was set in place as a system of subjugation and control through conquest of Asia, Africa and the Americas and the enslavement of Black Africans.

By remapping the world through colonial violence, European powers did more than conquer and brutalize non-White races — they carved out the very framework of racial categories as a way to justify their domination.

These racial categories remain firmly intact to this day, shaping interactions between non-White races (Black, Brown, Yellow) people and so called “White people”.

Present-day racist practices continue to mirror the colonialism that shaped the history of The world since the 19th century.

Becoming conscious of racism does not mean you are a racist...

“There is a great new work before us, which is to replace with true knowledge the ignorance that has destroyed human minds.

We will construct unity in a world [which] has been brutally torn apart by false divisions of race, religion, gender, nationality, and age.

We will heal with unconditional love those souls whose hearts have been disfigured by hatred and loneliness.”

~ Aberjhani (born Jeffery J. Lloyd)
~ Historian, columnist, novelist, poet, artist, and editor.
~ Born July 8, 1957 Savannah, Georgia
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
My advice is simple. Don’t overthink things in a strip club. Enjoy the women - and enjoy some dances.

We all have preferences. Don’t look too deeply into the possible subconscious reasons for those preferences. Its best to just enjoy the women who you find desirable.

And remember - dancers find old green dead men very desirable! $$$$…
avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon
3 years ago
Some pompous asses will judge you based on who you find attractive. Soft-headed progressives like Ibram Kendi (real name: Henry Rogers) believe any disparity in behavior is due to racism. This is a self-serving opinion that has never been logically defended. Academics give people like that an undeserved free pass.

Progressive racialism is better understood in a religious context, similar to Catholic indulgences. Racism is the "original sin" of white (or "white-adjacent" minorities who excel) people, and it must be atoned for with "repentance" (confessing your privilege) and "penance" (paying the charlatans who peddle such nonsense). And like indulgences, it's quite a racket for those at the top.

Me, I guess I've internalized anti-white racism, since I rarely date or buy dances from white women. Despite being part white and grown up in a white neighborhood, I have a prejudice of middle- and upper-class white Americans as sheltered and thinking the world revolves around them. When I am attracted to a white person, she's usually someone of an Italian or Spanish skin tone (that itself has Arab or North African DNA). I have not repented of my anti-white preferences, because I sincerely do not give a shit.

As long as it's not related to some stupid stereotype, you do you, man.
avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion
3 years ago
The other hairless apes are right. Now my tastes tend to vary based on mood and the type of driving whiskey I was drinking before I got to the club.

For example, if I’m drinking cachaça I go with Brazilians. Hell, there was this time I was driving all around looking for sexy Ethiopians after I slammed back a couple of liters of Tej. You know how hard it is to get good Tej in the states? Not easy but variety is the spice of life.

You should try this method. ROAR!!!
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
For what it's worth, I also thought this might be a shit-stirring thread, but decided to treat it as serious until I see a good reason not to.

@CJKent ... The OP states up front that he does not have a problem with AA in social settings, but that he doesn't find AA women physically attractive. That's not racism, that's just having specific tastes or distastes. There are guys on here who do and don't like tattoos or piercings on women. There are people on here who do and don't like breast implants. There's a lot of guys on here who don't find women over a certain age sexually attractive. It would be tough to accuse those guys of being "age bigots" ... because a lot of them are well over the age they prefer in a dancer.

Also, you telling the OP that his taste in women demonstrates racism is rife with hypocrisy ... because I just scanned through the images posted to your profile, and I'm not seeing a lot of Latinas, AAs, or Asians. Nothing but white women, and nearly all falling within a specific body type and look for white woman.

And that's fine. You, like the OP, are entitled to your subjective tastes in who you find sexually attractive.

But, beyond that, maybe this is the right moment for you to shut the fuck up.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
And, like Tetradon, I'll offer to take on any hot AA dancers you're not into. I'm willing to take those bullets for you.
avatar for CarlitosPeligro
CarlitosPeligro
3 years ago
The SC is all about escape from reality, escape from outside worlds norms. That’s not to say anything goes. It has its own norms. And as far as I can tell the SC norms are do what’s fun, if the girl is into it and the bouncer doesn’t stop it. Race is an artificial social construct. Obviously we and the dancers and mgmt are not without that outside influence but my experiences over the short few years are that in general the SC can be whatever we make it. Some feel more integrated and post-racial than others. Try to be kind and generous to all but you are there to indulge a desire, even a fantasy, it’s not the place to fight for social justice. Have fun, don’t worry about it. And yes tastes and preferences change and evolve. I’ve never dated a civilian outside my own background socially, racially, whatever. In the SC I have sampled all kinds and found new appreciation, but I like what I like.
avatar for RTP
RTP
3 years ago
I am with Icee, scary I know. This is the guys first post. Definitely a troll thread. And it seemed to work.
avatar for misterorange
misterorange
3 years ago
^^ Agree it's a troll thread. But that's where my agreement with Icee ends. Lol.
avatar for DeclineToState
DeclineToState
3 years ago
Troll

But advice: Don't grab stage pussy uninvited like I've seen others of your alleged ethnicity do
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
3 years ago
@sclover14

Racist hierarchies are embedded and reproduced in Indian minds through the legacies of colonialism.

There is an obsession with fair skin in Indian culture. India’s film industry propagates a standard of beauty; Pale, hairless female bodies dominate depictions of feminine beauty.

The association between fairness/whiteness with beauty and status is stitched into your subconscious mind, you need to look at the history and complexities of race in your upbringing in order to truly realize that all women no matter their color of skin are beautiful.
avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon
3 years ago
^ Way to whitesplain someone on the history and implications of their own race.
avatar for minnow
minnow
3 years ago
Go back to your job at Bangalore Movers & Packers....
avatar for drewcareypnw
drewcareypnw
3 years ago
@Tetradon: BINGO
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
3 years ago
^
^
^
From Urban Dictionary:

“Whitesplain

The argument of last resort by a racist individual who believes someone's race determines whether they are correct or not. Typically used when someone cannot actually muster a coherent/rational argument.

"Oh no, I have no argument... Wait! He's white! I don't need to have an argument to win, all I have to do is point out that he's whitesplaining and I automatically win! Racism is just the best!"

by TzoTzo July 04, 2017”

:D
avatar for cowboyak
cowboyak
3 years ago
I’m not AA and of Asian ethnic background, but prefer AA over every other race. And yes I’ve experienced other races. AA women just do it for me and the slender ones with curves and ass make my jaw drop. Maybe it was the early Tyra Banks modeling magazines? My ATF is a gorgeous petite AA, with an ass to die for and sexy slim legs. And yes there are pics to prove it.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
My best experiences with dancers have been with AA dancers.
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