Please don't judge me, give suggestions
sclover14
I'm a brown Asian(Indian) in my late 20's and came to US in 2016. In India there is no culture of Strip clubs(SC) and I didn't know that SC's existed until 2017. After that I started going to clubs and I enjoy travelling spending time, having some fun with the dancers. I visited clubs in OH, MI, TX, FL, NC, SC, OR, WT, NJ, NYC. I want to have a honest discussion here.
Now to the main point, I unconsciously have preference towards most races of girls except AA. I don't like this, I tried changing this but unsuccessful. I won't have this preference or any problem working with, making friends or whatever the case except sexual encounter. If there are 10 AA ladies in the club, I might like 1 girl and I would probably like 5-6 girls compared to other races. I tried having dances with many AA girls but the satisfaction would not be the same.
I literally want to change this but don't know how, any suggestions are appreciated. And do you think having this kind of preference for sexual life is okay?
Now to the main point, I unconsciously have preference towards most races of girls except AA. I don't like this, I tried changing this but unsuccessful. I won't have this preference or any problem working with, making friends or whatever the case except sexual encounter. If there are 10 AA ladies in the club, I might like 1 girl and I would probably like 5-6 girls compared to other races. I tried having dances with many AA girls but the satisfaction would not be the same.
I literally want to change this but don't know how, any suggestions are appreciated. And do you think having this kind of preference for sexual life is okay?
34 comments
It's possible that the moment you stop worrying about this will be the precursor to your seeing or meeting an AA woman who blows you away... perhaps literally.
Don't sweat it.
We'd all be much happier if we were sexually attracted to those with compatible personalities, regardless of physical appearance. But people can rarely, if ever, will themselves to feel attraction when they don't.
It's part of a being a customer that you will not feel attracted to many or most strippers, and you must politely turn them down, and disappoint them. It's part of their job to handle the disappointment.
You unfortunately will find that strippers in the US, of any race, may be wary of you. Many South Central Asian men get used to how desperate sex workers are in their home countries, and assume strippers have a similar level of desperation.
I will play along and answer your question;
Q: do you think having this kind of preference for sexual life is okay?
A: I think having a racist preference for sexual life is not okay.
As far as we all know racism is a constant and cruel reality in India and all the countries that were colonized by the British Empire.
You became and adult in that environment; you harbor racist sentiments because of attitudes you brought with you to America and you are even adopting the racism of the USA who is as racist as Britain 🇬🇧
Attitudes of Indians in the USA toward African-Americans seem to be as much about how they perceive themselves on the “color bar”.
You look down at Africans-Americans as an inferior species, because you learned it from the British when they colonized and occupied India, the fact is that there are many Indians who are as dark or darker than some Africans.
The dominated communities absorbed the aesthetic standards set by race by the British during centuries of colonialism and now by the USA centuries of Imperialism
The reason I said it not okay for you to have a racist preference for sexual life is because you are not being able to truly appreciate and possibly enjoy having a relationship with an African-American woman.
It might take time and effort on your part to educate yourself and get rid of your racism, and truly believe that “it is never too late to give up your prejudices”
That being said, on occasion, I've allowed myself to be open to girls I would normally shut down right away. Sometimes, when you engage in conversation, a girl you wouldn't normally be attracted to becomes more attractive from a simple conversation.
In the recent past, I've had fun with women that I would normally not choose and chase away. Not always open to this but it can lead to fun.
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“The straitjackets of race prejudice and discrimination do not wear only southern labels. The subtle, psychological technique of the North has approached in its ugliness and victimization of the Negro the outright terror and open brutality of the South.”
~ Martin Luther King Jr.
It all depends on why you find African Americans unattractive. And they come in as wide as range of colors as Indians.
I've had a darker tan than the natural color of a few African American girls I fucked.
I think this thread is trying to bait people into saying race js a preference and not being attracted to African Americans isn't at all racist
How the fuck did he do that when the British left India 50 years before he was born? CJK has got to be the dumbest shithead on this board.
Re sexual attraction, no explaining is necessary. It's like trying to convince yourself you enjoy driving Volvos when you reflexively love BMWs. Others seem to like them, right? But that makes no difference. You can be a passenger in an Uber Volvo just fine, but when it comes to what you personally want to drive, don't fight the feeling. You'll never will yourself to enjoy something you don't automatically and viscerally connect with deep in your gut.
That said, I have problems with BBWs, and even mildly plump dancers. I've been scolded by many who say I shouldn't be so judgmental, that it's bad to like Barbie doll girls, that some guys love big-booty women, there's more cushion for the pushin', etc, ad nauseum.
Tall slender babes with flat stomachs, natural breasts, no tats, and no baby damage - that' my ticket. So much so, I no longer spend money on dances/VIPs from women I don't find attractive. This is the way...
You should know the history of current racism in the world dates to the 15th century, it was set in place as a system of subjugation and control through conquest of Asia, Africa and the Americas and the enslavement of Black Africans.
By remapping the world through colonial violence, European powers did more than conquer and brutalize non-White races — they carved out the very framework of racial categories as a way to justify their domination.
These racial categories remain firmly intact to this day, shaping interactions between non-White races (Black, Brown, Yellow) people and so called “White people”.
Present-day racist practices continue to mirror the colonialism that shaped the history of The world since the 19th century.
Becoming conscious of racism does not mean you are a racist...
“There is a great new work before us, which is to replace with true knowledge the ignorance that has destroyed human minds.
We will construct unity in a world [which] has been brutally torn apart by false divisions of race, religion, gender, nationality, and age.
We will heal with unconditional love those souls whose hearts have been disfigured by hatred and loneliness.”
~ Aberjhani (born Jeffery J. Lloyd)
~ Historian, columnist, novelist, poet, artist, and editor.
~ Born July 8, 1957 Savannah, Georgia
We all have preferences. Don’t look too deeply into the possible subconscious reasons for those preferences. Its best to just enjoy the women who you find desirable.
And remember - dancers find old green dead men very desirable! $$$$…
Progressive racialism is better understood in a religious context, similar to Catholic indulgences. Racism is the "original sin" of white (or "white-adjacent" minorities who excel) people, and it must be atoned for with "repentance" (confessing your privilege) and "penance" (paying the charlatans who peddle such nonsense). And like indulgences, it's quite a racket for those at the top.
Me, I guess I've internalized anti-white racism, since I rarely date or buy dances from white women. Despite being part white and grown up in a white neighborhood, I have a prejudice of middle- and upper-class white Americans as sheltered and thinking the world revolves around them. When I am attracted to a white person, she's usually someone of an Italian or Spanish skin tone (that itself has Arab or North African DNA). I have not repented of my anti-white preferences, because I sincerely do not give a shit.
As long as it's not related to some stupid stereotype, you do you, man.
For example, if I’m drinking cachaça I go with Brazilians. Hell, there was this time I was driving all around looking for sexy Ethiopians after I slammed back a couple of liters of Tej. You know how hard it is to get good Tej in the states? Not easy but variety is the spice of life.
You should try this method. ROAR!!!
@CJKent ... The OP states up front that he does not have a problem with AA in social settings, but that he doesn't find AA women physically attractive. That's not racism, that's just having specific tastes or distastes. There are guys on here who do and don't like tattoos or piercings on women. There are people on here who do and don't like breast implants. There's a lot of guys on here who don't find women over a certain age sexually attractive. It would be tough to accuse those guys of being "age bigots" ... because a lot of them are well over the age they prefer in a dancer.
Also, you telling the OP that his taste in women demonstrates racism is rife with hypocrisy ... because I just scanned through the images posted to your profile, and I'm not seeing a lot of Latinas, AAs, or Asians. Nothing but white women, and nearly all falling within a specific body type and look for white woman.
And that's fine. You, like the OP, are entitled to your subjective tastes in who you find sexually attractive.
But, beyond that, maybe this is the right moment for you to shut the fuck up.
But advice: Don't grab stage pussy uninvited like I've seen others of your alleged ethnicity do
Racist hierarchies are embedded and reproduced in Indian minds through the legacies of colonialism.
There is an obsession with fair skin in Indian culture. India’s film industry propagates a standard of beauty; Pale, hairless female bodies dominate depictions of feminine beauty.
The association between fairness/whiteness with beauty and status is stitched into your subconscious mind, you need to look at the history and complexities of race in your upbringing in order to truly realize that all women no matter their color of skin are beautiful.
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From Urban Dictionary:
“Whitesplain
The argument of last resort by a racist individual who believes someone's race determines whether they are correct or not. Typically used when someone cannot actually muster a coherent/rational argument.
"Oh no, I have no argument... Wait! He's white! I don't need to have an argument to win, all I have to do is point out that he's whitesplaining and I automatically win! Racism is just the best!"
by TzoTzo July 04, 2017”
:D