Does jealousy make you MORE or LESS likely to cheat?

You sure are, you'll find out about how much of an asshole every time you have an argument with your wife, my best bet is this will come up every time along with every other crime you've ever committed, plus all of your faults. Remember with a woman the conversation is never over.

I think she could tell that the other woman was going to pull something, and knew that you wouldn’t say no. They may not always be logical, but they have a keen sense of female intentions.

Jealousy has nothing to do with it. If you wanna whore around you’re gonna eventually wanna do it.

I like the part where you blame your wife for "making" you cheat.

Congrats on the blackjack winnings. Are you an asshole ? Yes. But we are ALL assholes ? That's why I like this site. I'm communicating with others that are doing similar things to what I am doing. Although, I have always maintained a policy of not messing around with any co-workers. And that included customers and vendors. I just don't mix business with that pleasure.

Besides the non-standard marriage living arrangements, I'm puzzled as to why you're letting an event that apparently happened 14 years ago live rent free in your head. I don't recommend seeking marriage counseling from anonymous posters on internet boards. Anyway, you don't strike me as an asshole based on your postings. (at least not too much of one, W15 + 1)

All very valid points. General consensus: ASSHOLE. I guess that's what I expected and can't really argue otherwise!

@minnow - It's not like I obsess over it, but it does pop into my head from time to time. Perhaps because it was the only time I cheated with a woman that was part of my "regular" life (a non-pro).

As we all know, whatever happens in the VIP or OTC with strippers ain't really cheating!

^ I like that last sentence.

While it's utterly none of my business, @Orange did ask for feedback.

I think 99% + of women would feel repulsed and angry at the idea of having their husband go on a weekend trip with another woman. Her reaction isn't so much jealousy as it is open and in-your-face disrespect for her and the wedding vows. OTOH, I think most marriages could survive the act of getting drunk and banging some unattractive skank and co-worker.

Some professional couples live apart because of job constraints -- but I get the idea that's not the case here. If I had to guess, @Orange is on his way to divorce number two.

This is why I stay single

I concur with strupviffle and wavvycain’s posts. I think it was going to happen because it was going to happen.

^^ Was hoping you'd weigh in @nicespice. As a follow-up, do you think there's a difference between cheating with a woman who is part of your "regular" life vs. getting FS in the VIP?

Another big moral issue here is why you haven't made a PSA for America's young men, warning how excessive drinking leads to the breeding of tree-stump children.

She was an assholish for thinking it was avoidable for you to do the same things with a female co-worker that you'd do with a male one. If you and your wife promised to be exclusive with each other, you were a asshole for breaking your promise, regardless of any gifts you bought her to feel less guilty about it. Like our moms told us, two wrongs don't make a right. You were also an asshole for not admitting what happened, and asking for forgiveness. But I'd be an asshole for wagging a finger at you for that. Before we got married, I told my wife that I wasn't sure it would work, or that marriage in general would work for me. But she said, lets take our shot. When our sex life fizzled out, I said, looks like it hasn't worked, and she had a major meltdown. So I stayed with her and started seeing escorts. I just said I had to work late sometimes (which I often actually did), but she knew what was going on. We were together for more than 15 years, we had bad times, but many good times too.

A couple, married or not, has the right to live however the fuck they want. Cause Murica.

Honestly I don’t know what the best answer is. I guess the second scenario of extras clubs is less likely to cause drama, but on the other hand, it’s more expensive and if you’re a source of financial support, that is essentially a “pay cut” that is at risk.

I guess my thing on cheating is that it seems the biggest cheaters (males and females both) seem to get extra controlling and possessive of the other party. Like “I’m going to do xyz but you better not even be talking about the weather with that person over there!” The healthiest thing would be some form of agreed upon non-monogamy but the next best is to just at least have a more permissive attitude on things you might suspect sheesh. At least in my opinion.

I feel like I’m wading into a can of worms and may end up in some flame war against some dude bro who is going to come after me that it’s natural for men and whorish for women so I don’t want to be in this discussion too long but meeeeh 🤷🏻‍♀️

In my marriage, most of the spending was for stuff she wanted. I'm not big on owning stuff, I feel like it ends up owning you as much as you own it. So I don't think my relatively small spending on escorts could be called a "pay cut" for her. In any case, it's rare that women want to do me NSA. When they want to do me, it's with SA. To me that's the next level of marital cheating, when you've got an SA thing with a third party.

Once when my wife was pissed at me, she threatened to go to a bar and hook up. I told her that was fine if that's what she needed to do to be happy. I don't think she did, but I wouldn't blame her if she had, as I wasn't doing my husbandly duties as she called them. So no nicespice, don't put us all in the double standard bin. I felt bad about my wife's situation, so I got practiced at giving back rubs, many of my favs can vouch that I got pretty good at it.

Cheaters are usually very jealous people.