I need to find me a Friend With Benefits

The problem in your situation with a FWB is that they can get "the feels", which will totally F up your situation. You're much better off with a professional whose livelihood is based on keeping the fun on the DL.

You can't br just friends with someone you fuck

Unless youre turned out. If you want to be on a winning team do it for yourself

I love my FWBs. Not quite one night stands, not quite romantic lovers, but after getting dicked down we can high five and make fun of each other about the loud queef/fart that broke out in the heat of the moment. I guess that sort of sounds like lovers anyway... but if the lovers were just friends.

As far as you being married, obviously you'd have to be as discreet as you would be going out to see a sugar baby or an OTC meetup. (I'm polyamorous so... never had to deal with that issue on my side of the spectrum.)