Let's See How "Empathy" Plays Out . . .
At my local club about 1% or less of strippers mind having their tits fondled. Some people believe that then you should ask first. I don't and some people would think that I therefore lack "empathy."
Actually, I do have "empathy." It is for the poor strip club customer who wasted his money on the stripper who has a problem with having her tits fondled. At my local club, I think I could get management to impose a fine on girls that mistreat customers like that.
Or we could do something really radical. Live and let live. The dancer doesn't like having her tits fondled, then fine. Give a refund. I never ask for a refund, but what the hell I'm showing "empathy" for other customers who can't afford to lose money on a poor dance. Going further with this really radical live and let live philosophy is freedom of speech. I know I have "empathy," you don't want hate speech or pornographic speech, etc. I really feel where you are coming from because I have so much "empathy." But, instead of the thought police muzzling people under the ruse of "empathy" I have another solution! The supposedly offended dancer, whether the 1% or the 99%, can simply cut the conversation short by walking away! Another radical idea! Will it never end?
Actually, I never believed "empathy" could turn into such a disgusting concept. Live and learn.
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Another example of "empathy." Some young women think old men are disgusting. Therefore, some people believe old men should show young women "empathy" by never approaching them. I mean god forbid if the young lady should get upset by the wrong man showing interest in her. That's sexual harassment!
What about the young women that actually like an aggressive old man? Oh, no need to show "empathy" for those ho's they can go fuck themselves! Sluts that like old men should be shown NO "empathy" besides we all know sluts like that just want the old man's money.
DUH!
Actually, I like this "empathy" game if it is played correctly. Old man walks up to young lady bank teller and before making his withdrawal he fondles her tits. Nobody dares get upset with the old man because everyone has "empathy" for him. He asks young bank teller repeatedly for a free BJ and again nobody is upset everyone is smiling and laughing. It's "empathy" for the poor old man. Finally the young bank teller says OK, you get a free BJ, but it has to be quick because I also have "empathy" for my employer and I can't be giving free BJs all day.
It has nothing to do with being offended. I did 2 dances for a guy thee other night, then another girl and I did a few double dances, then he got 4 from her, sucking on her tits the whole time.. Was I offended she made more money, no its a matter of choice and I am good with mine...
At my favorite club, over the last 6 years and hundreds of dancers, I have only found 3 that did not allow their tits to be fondled. I made sure to name them in my reviews so that other customers could avoid them. I don't know if they actually liked it but they knew that it was a part of the fantasy. Part of the job. Famous lines from my favorites. "They are just tits". "We are going to go play with my boobies". I am leaving the house now. To drive that 240 miles to do just that.
No, I truly don't think trying to find out someones limits first is just a good idea for all involved under the particular circumstances.
Let me try and explain. The club has a well deserved reputation for being hardcore. I believe the dancers should have a right to refuse service to any customer for any reason. And, I mean ANY reason. She doesn't like whites? No problem. She doesn't like old? No problem. She doesn't like short? No problem. Surprisingly, I learned that the majority of dancers wanted NO part of that because they believe the actions of one dancer can reflected badly on all the dancers. They consider themselves to be a team, btw, NO white dancers allowed is one of their rules. So, for example a dancer who wouldn't want her tits fondle creates a hostile environment for customers. (And, in my opinion it certainly does create a hostile environment, but it should be her right to say NO, imo.) Instead of buying dances the customer will start wasting time talking or worse just avoid buying until he sees another customer grab her titties without issue. They believe she needs to find a "white" club or better yet get the hell out of the business. Mainly, just don't fuck up customer relations with their personal hangups. It does affect everyone whether the dancer realizes it or not--it is not just about her limits.
I love the down and dirty reputation of Angels. It does cost me, however. The dancer who is more like the girl next door is going to have some trouble more likely than not.
So the problem I have with your suggestion is the cost it imposes on everybody else. Let's say management adopted the NO fondle policy unless customer is first granted permission. I believe dance purchases would drop and prices would at least need to double. Unfortunately, this is a club that is often too noisy to talk and not only that most of the dancers don't want to talk especially about limits--it is buy the dance and then buy more dances and if she likes you the private room.
Sometimes I think people have NO idea of the costs of catering to prudery. The costs are definitely there and instead of "empathy" for the fucking prude, who should go to church or something, I want "empathy" for the customer who wants fun hardcore action without hassle/redtape and I want "empathy" for the dancers who don't want their time wasted with upfront negotiations or worse the loss of income due to heisitant (sp?) customers.
I remember at a white club I tried to fondle a dancer's breasts during the dance. She was very nice and said No, I don't allow that. She could see I was unhappy and offered a refund which I thought was extremely considerate and nice of her. It made me feel good about the purchase even though the dance itself had NO value to me. I would of rather watched TV. Anyway, after that I'm turning down one hot dancer after another. I don't care what they look like. Just NO interest. Anyway, this one dancer--super HOT--surprisingly asks what you don't like the way I look or you just trying to save money? I say actually I have money to spend and was looking to enjoy some white dancers for a change. She says there is a shortage of white dancers?! This club looked all white, btw. I said I always go to black clubs. So she says why aren't you buying dances then? I say they are NO fun here and I will stick with the black clubs in the future. She says why aren't they fun? I say No breast fondling equals NO fun for me. She laughs and says most of the dancers have NO problem with that, but just ask first. I say that isn't something I would feel comfortable with--it is like asking a girl for permission to kiss her. Some guys do it, but I think it is a complete buzz kill. Now, if the dancer brings it up then fine. Anyway, I had a very nice time with her with lots of fondling and bought a lot of dances. I never did go back to that club, however. The dances were too expensive for me to gamble on a bad dance. It later died and I thought good riddance.
Actually I have better things to do. They just aren't fun things to do.
The "empathy" bullshit is thanks to chandler. I always had a very positive view of "empathy." To me it meant putting yourself in the shoes of another and thus don't judge them to harshly.
A girl shows up 3 hours late? Gee, if I was her I might do the same thing. A dancer doesn't want her tits fondled? If I was her, then I might feel the same way. The dancer sticks with a boyfriend who takes all her money and verbally abuses her? Yep, that could be me if I lived her life.
BTW, shadowcat you are having too much fun! I need you to show me some "empathy" and complain about never being allowed to touch a dancer's breast!
shadowcat typed: "At my favorite club, over the last 6 years and hundreds of dancers, I have only found 3 that did not allow their tits to be fondled." You're just trying to making unlucky customers feel bad! Shame, shame, on you! <just joking------ I actually love to read your adventures. :)>
Are you asking permission first? :) You have to show "empathy" for the 3 hands off my titties dancers!
For you finding no value in a dance with no tittie fondling, there are those who like girls with limits, and the ones who like the challenge to see if they can get us to break them.. So its all in what someone wants..
At one time I would have been a customer who preferred a dancer with firm limits and it was nothing to do with breaking those limits. I was just very conservative and felt more comfortable with a dancer who had definite limits that she imposed. I had NO interest in curtailing more liberal dancers, btw.
Then I started seeing things differently due to law and blacks that I started coming in contact with. The law ranged from anything from sexual harassment to family law that demanded a man had to pay for children that weren't his. The brutality of the law impressed me. Send the poor "dad" to prison so he can be gang raped. With the blacks I saw a very different culture and I saw the brutality of law yet again, but it seemed like the law was specifically targeted against blacks. For example, there was disparate sentencing for blacks who used crack cocaine compared to whites that preferred powdered cocaine. The black person faced a very real possiblity of the "key" being thrown away and doing significant jail time. The white person faced little time and maybe just a fine. Some would argue that harsher penalties actually benefit the black community. I can easily see that POV. I personally find it revolting.
It is funny at one time I believed in a small government of very limited power. That isn't realistic. Live and let live just isn't practical nor is "freedom of speech." The government needs to be used not only as a weapon against one's enemies, but as a source of wealth for one's allies. For me the government cannot spend enough money on health care, education, housing, nutrition, arts, social security, farmer aid, environment, you name it and generally more of this type of government the better. Taxes? I don't care is they go up a thousand fold and whether money has to printed endlessly. It is all good. Now military spending that could pretty much be eliminated along with "homeland security." Different people have different views, but the guarantee is one group will impose its will on the other group.
BTW, evilcyn, I was thinking that I might even like the system at *your* club in *your* club. It depends on things such as noise, the type of dancers, the cost of the dances, dancer turnover, whether there are pool tables! A quite relaxing club where dancers talk to thier customers can be very nice and it shouldn't be too dificult to learn the dancer's preference. The pool table probably sounds silly, but I had a lot of fun just shooting a friendly game of pool with different dancers. The downside was the dancers weren't making too much money. The hustle was low, but again the downside was money wasn't being made. Some dancers would probably prefer a real slow low pressure club. I like that type of club, but due mainly to law and escalating living costs I can't see those days coming back to Miami.
Although my club has a reputation for down and dirty, eye contact is rarely available. So rule is grab pretty much anything you want, but don't look into my eyes??? It gets the typical dancer at Angels very unhappy---unless you've somehow been able to talk with her over a long period of time. Different clubs have different social norms.
Last night I ran into a pretty dancer who's always been nice to me. She said "save me!" I was empathizing a bit with her. A rude customer apparently said something to her about her mother (who had recently passed away in front of her). She was in tears and very unhappy. She told me she had no one. I told her I would be happy to be her friend before I started to think that sounds like a bit of a line especially when I offered to give her my phone number if she needs a friend to call. She ignored me on that. I don't know why some people are so rude. It kills the mood of some dancers. Maybe the rude guy didn't know how sensitive the issue was. I didn't ask too many questions. I did understand a bit.
I think strip clubs are more a superior alternate reality. Hot young dancers eager to please for something as worthless as dollars. :) The trick is how to turn that superior alternate reality into your normal reality assuming you'd find that appealing. I'm thinking preaching might be the ideal career change to get cash and babes.
As far as comforting a distraught stripper good luck. Yes, she could be on the level or it could just be a game. Gee, am I hardened? :)
Yes, some of these customers are rough. I sometimes wonder how some dancers are able to keep such a positive front. More likely they get hardened over time just like some strip club customers get hardened. O well, happy innocence has a fairly steep price.
She's also correct in that 50% or more of the other dancers at her club, allow fondling and kissing of the breast, so there are plenty of breasts to go around for everyone!
I'm also thankful that evilcyn doesn't mind me testing out other dancers. Not that I compare them to her, because I don't. I've only been in the champaigne room with two other dancers besides evilcyn. She's aware of that. She encourages it also, as long as she knows them. You see evilcyn has been my ATF at her club since day one! There is not ONE dancer that can outdo what she does for me! Evilcyn has many features about her, from her head to her toes, and the only way you're going to find out what those features are...... is to visit her club and get her in the champagine room. :-)
I was think more 7 day a week partying. Yes, a little preaching on Sunday for the flock. What is that a wasted half day with two sermons? Then the ladies of the congregation will need more preaching to get them in the mood as long as they don't take too long that is fine. :) In fact, I actually enjoyed a little warm-up in the ancient past.
Yes, in the right environment a dancer with standards can be a lot of fun especially when you were made aware upfront. I haven't experienced that in years. It doesn't seem feasible for me in this area.
I remember dancers asking for dances with wanna dance, which I actually prefer now and saying NO even if I found them extremely attractive. If the dancer inquired further, then I would often state I don't know how long you will be working here. This was met usually with equivilent (sp?) of what the hell?! It was really simple. If I didn't see they were going to be regulars, then my interest was fairly low and I didn't want to waste my cash or time on a dancer who I wouldn't be seeing over a good period of time. Those good old days are long gone.
It is excellent to hear about your positive interaction with evilcyn. :) When I hear positive reports it makes me go and think about my good times. I guess it is jealousy at work. :)
I remember at least one time a dancer used the tears against me--yes, it messed up her makeup. She was a very good actress and made some money, but overall it was a negative experience for me. She didn't have the type looks that I like. She made some money mainly by a negative fraud. Yes, she did provide a service and tried hard, but without her sad story I wouldn't have any interest in spending money on her. Worse it has the unfortunate effect of me being colder when a dancer actually does need a little help. I need to remember that I'd rather get taken a few times than not help out if help is really needed.
Positive "empathy" would be when you give someone assistance because you understand how much just a little help can make a difference. I remember this man selling me crucial parts--hinges of all things. Other fuckers all over town came up with the filth that I'd have to have a commercial account and this wasn't a retail item and needed to bought in huge quantities. One man said he understood my problem and was willing to break the rules to help me out. I remember that kind deed.
To me its such a part of how I dance, on stage and giving a lapdance..
YES, but . . .
Can you control your iris? :)
Over at Secrets (a sister club to Angels) this small but pregnant white girl was having a hard time. She looked adorable and I immediately liked what I saw. Pregnant or not she was looking good. She starts giving me dances and we hit it off immediately. Unbelieveably she feels the need to discount to the price of $2.5 per lap--she doesn't see it like that, however. To her it is $5 per every 2 songs--You have to pay the $5 even if you only want 1 song. Anyway, at that price I want to spend the night with her and I'm just in heaven. And, she seems very appreciative and happy. She was definitely depressed before I showed up. (Really strange is when I went back to buy more dances either the next day or a few days later nobody could remember a small pregnant dancer. And, in fact comments were pregnant? And, she's dancing? As if that were the strangest thing.)
Now, to the important part of the story. I mentioned her pupils, she had beautiful blue/green eyes, and how LARGE they became and how it was a real turn on. Also, that prostitutes in Italy used belladonna, pretty lady, in their eyes to make them LARGE like hers were now. She started laughing and I said what is so funny? She says it is funny that they were using belladonna. I'm like ??? She says watch. Then her iris gets real small and then real LARGE. She has complete control of her pupil size! It seemed like a turn off for her when I said it was still very sexy. She says how can it be a turn on now that you know it is just a trick?! She says if you don't know that is one thing, but to know and still like it isn't right. It upset her.
With white dancers I just expected it (thought it was universal and normal) and very much appreciated eye contact. When I do ask black dancers some will try and fail, others will say it is way too personal (they wouldn't mind FS, however), others think it is just odd, others will say something like white people are really strange . . . looking into your eyes, what next? Of course, there is a small minority of black dancers that pull it off like a pro--usually, they aren't at Angels.
Evilcyn, please tell me you can't control your iris. That is too hot, imo. :)
:)
Something new to shot for....LOL
FONDL, at our club its the dancers choice what they allow...That way everyone seems to be able to find what they are looking for...
Hi FONDL: Dear Abby says cut out your post and hand it to her err reluctantly she mean your ATF. :) If nothing else, then you might get a laugh.
Hi Book Guy: She wasn't getting any action till I showed up and she looked pretty much beat. Real beat. Her boyfriend was a HUGE fat man and he said to her at one point when she was complaining to him that she's working hard but that no one wants a pregnant dancer, that you ain't coming home till I see some green, you can work the streets for the next few days for all I care. Just don't bother me unless you got money. She started to complain again, but he shot her a death look. I thought she was looking real beat before, now it looked like she might collapse. It was very sad.
Hi evilcyn: I didn't think there was any way to do that. It was neat! :) She said it was just a trick she learned. I told her that was one powerful trick and that made her happy.
I don't really worry whether she "allows" touching her tits or any of a laundry list of liberties. I got over caring about that stuff back in about 10th grade. I'm more interested in her overall sexiness and our rapport. (For which eye contact is a strong indicator.) If she turns me on and we click, I'll give her a go. Almost always, the mileage that results is plenty enough to keep me happy, and probably better than she would have stated in advance. In the rare cases she doesn't loosen up, or her rules get in the way of my fun, I cross her off my list and move on.
EvilCyn: Eye contact is a must. To me, it's part of what determines how hot the dance is. Staring deeply into each other's eyes during the dance is a great way to gauge how much each other is enjoying the dance. With my ATF, I know that a few things I do turn her on, and it's especially sexy when her eyes reflect that, when I touch her in a certain way, or in a certain spot. Very hot!
My prev-ATF was actually not very good at keeping eye contact when I first "danced" her. In fact, even though she was a solid 9, after the first few dances, I decided to write her off, and stopped her from continuing more dances. Later, when she was on-stage, her hotness factor caught up with me and made me change my mind... eye contact or no eye contact, I wanted to play with her some more. Ultimately, she came back to my table and we had a nice long talk and once we got to know each other better, her dances (eye contact) improved one hundred fold.
DougS: An important part of "empathy" is not placing the dancer in *your* shoes. You may think that logically a woman would want A, B, and C because any logical person would want that.
Let me try and give a striking example that you may be aware of. A person wins the lottery big time and suddenly he or she is an instant millionaire. No need to be abused by the old boss anymore or live in a crummy neighborhood or etc. assuming the person suffered these "negative" conditions to begin with. Thus, logically the million dollar lottery winner should be a very happy camper. The propaganda and I believe it is correct is the affect on a person's happiness by winning the lottery is equivilent (sp?) to their losing a limb or a loved one. It brings misery when one would think it should bring happiness. (BTW, this is by NO means a universal truth. Just because Joe Nothing is unhappy receiving millions doesn't mean there aren't plenty of other people would sincerely appreciate the money. My wealthy friends always have the audacity to tell me money has NO value at all. Fine, then give it to me! :) ) There are MANY good reasons for this lottery effect, but that really isn't too important to what I'm trying to communicate.
Some bloke may be concerned about crossing a dancer's limits or acting like a gentleman or whatever. The problem here arises when the bloke assumes that certain body language means X or when the bloke assumes the statement A definitely means X or that of course X is better; the reality is that although these may normally be "good guides" they aren't universal truths by an stretch of the imagination. The Wall Street Journal did a vile piece on how crushing debt was a wonderful thing for the debtor. In the same vein one could say drug addiction or religion is a wonderful thing to those afflicted. Are they wonderful? I think drug addiction based on my grandparents stories could qualify. Religion? Eck! That is a little harder to accept, but yes it could be a wonderful thing like fires are a wonderful thing to an arsonist. :)
Any try and have positive "empathy." It is actually very nice. :)
Also in the "empathy" game consider location, location, location. Yep just like real estate. In fact, you could consider the woman to be territory that need possessing, plowing, owning, developing, etc. LOL! :) OK, I said you *could* or you could consider her an individual person that might fit some stereotypes perfectly and others not even slightly.
Depending on the location I wouldn't worry about crossing limits that may be exactly what the doctor ordered so to say. For example, your at hellhole bar with certain social norms which may seem vulgar or brutal or unfair or etc. A young vixen is in my sights. Based on the location i.e. the hellhole bar my level of aggression may be set to warp 9. Vixen doesn't like a little tongue in her ear? Oops, just remind yourself where you are and where she is. Then remember the next vixen who gets the benefit of your tongue in her may demand you fuck her right there on the floor. Is that a problem? Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to stick your tongue in her ear.
Getting back to all important location her response to your "proposals" may vary greatly depending on her location. Is her big bruising boyfriend right next to her? This could be a positive or negative or irrelevant (sp?). Is she grouped with her female buds? I prefer to drag her away if possible. Would this cross a limit? I guess you drag her away you'll learn soon enough! :)
I always try and focus my "empathy" on the little hottie who is just waiting and waiting desperately for what I have to offer. Yep, that ho may be in the minority but you break enough eggs one might be worthy of being transformed into the perfect omelet.
Any other location issues important in the "empathy" game? Of course, noise can play a huge role if your gift is gab. I think that is one reason the noise is so high i.e. to protect the woman from the smooth talker. Anyway, keep on thinking! :)
YES, really. :) Actually, it wouldn't be too hard to prove. See they've been doing some research on lottery winners. Besides being absolutely miserable with their new found millions I believe many of those new millionaires are desperate to go back to their wage slave existent or worse actually do. It makes little difference if the work is boring, or difficult, or whatever. My crazy relative complained and bitched and moaned and carried on like a nut about how he wanted to retire from his nasty job and it was just the money keeping him working. I told him repeatedly that unfortunately within less than 10 days you will be whimpering to go back to your stupid worthless job. You want to be a wage slave even though you won't admit it. The clown didn't even last a week and was begging his boss to take him back. He didn't need the money and he shouldn't have needed the worthless job. I knew he wasn't there for the money and his boss knew he wasn't there for the money. The only one who didn't know was the damn clown. Yes, he could be the exception, but I think there are a bunch of crazy wage slaves out there.
With dancers I see them coming to work on their off hours to hang and party with their buddies. Approaching these off hour dancers is difficult because they're looking at their friends and thinking that's were your money needs to be going. The truth of that matter is that it seems like most of the dancers that I've met aren't very money grubbing . . . they got bills and boyfriends and pressure from the club. But, if you start dealing with them or spend hours and hours with them you'll start thinking that their main interest is romance and talking and proving their love for their man.
Another example was my barber. He became extremely wealthy because he saved and invested. Extreme saving. Anyway he could have retired as relatively young man instead he worked until he was almost 90. Was he cutting hair for the money? I dunno if he was money nut he sure loved to give away free hair cuts to people. And, he gave a very nice hair cut even at an advanced age. A really good man. It was always my pleasure to be in his company.
For one example, I was with her last Saturday. Evilcyn went up on stage. I sat at the end of the stage. After starting her performance (and I mean to say PERFORMANCE), she slithers (love that word) over to little ole' me at the end. She makes "contact" with my eyes... I mean for a good 30 seconds, and Mr Happy started leaking like a 'siv' all over my leg. She's been the only dancer in my life to get that kind of reaction out of me, using eyes.
The Ohio Bill 16 takes effect September 4th. Suggest anyone who wants to see evilcyn perform, better make it before then!
Lol. In spite of all of the above, I voted for Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer to help him get re-elected. Anyone who can drive 101 and not get a ticket sounds like the kind of guy we need in office. He won the re-election too.
LOL! That is a great story in that it is coming from an old guy. :) Leaking by eye contact if you're over 25 is something else. Apparently evilcyn doesn't need the dilate the pupil trick or has already perfected it. :)
You go to a very high contact club where the dances are $5. You get 2 hotties to give you a 2 girl show and during the table dance you concentrate on one girl giving her all the breast fondling and hugs and etc. At the end of the dance you give the one you were fondling a $20 and tell her to keep the change cause she did such an excellent job and you just love feeling her. You give the other girl a $100 and tell her to keep the change because she did a good job.
What does "empathy" tell you the girls will be feeling? Remember they are use to getting only $5 per dance and yet you were generous and paid $20 and $100 for 1 dance instead of the normal $5.
If it is actually ALL about the money, then hell both dancers should be very happy campers. LOL!
We're now on Day Five of your "empathy" blitz. You might think you're boring us all to death, but I'm rather entertained by seeing the "Energizer Bunny" effect I've had on you. So much so, I'm going to recharge it now: Jablake, you should learn some empathy.
I'll check back on Sunday.
At least your entertained. :) Actually, I like the word "empathy." And, I like it a lot. And, you couldn't have known that unless you're a mind reader or something.
Why do I like the word so much? For example, a woman is selling herself to give the money to a violent abusive boyfriend. IMO, a person with "empathy" would think I might be just like that woman if I lived her life or I might be just like that boyfriend if I lived his life. The person with "empathy" imo is one who says gee just because I LOVE the almighty dollar doesn't mean the dancer across from me feels the same way. Perhaps her main LOVE is having her ego stroked or drinking beer while watching NFL football.
Also, implicit in "empathy" imo is an aversion to harsh penalities. For example, you wouldn't want a person convicted of theft to have his hands lopped off unless you yourself would volunteer for said penalty. Some people would gleefully so NO problem because they assume that they will never be convicted of theft. As if they could never be wongly convicted.
It is disappointing that you think "empathy" is a "hated word" as far as I'm concerned.
For me it is easy to understand because I don't necessarily accept it when someone claims their job is only about the money. It could be true. A person could be working solely for the money. I just don't think that is the norm. When I was working it was just for the money, but that is highly unusual, imo.
My friends never seemed to give me any "empathy." They seem to put me in their shoes. So for example, if they think pretty women are merely trophies, then I must actually feel the same way. If they need quick FS, then I must need quick FS. If they love a new car, then I have to love a new car. If they can afford a $1,000 hooker, then somehow I can afford a $1,000 hooker.
When I told a young woman that she needed to find a young successful man who was worthy of her. She had absolutely NO "empathy" for me. She had belief that that was my way of gently kicking her to the curb because she wasn't good enough for me. That wasn't the case even a little bit. She was too good for me and needed to realize that. And, I needed to avoid a real relationship. I needed a fantasy relationship with her and not a real one--big difference. She didn't seem to understand that even a little bit and kept up the nonsense that I felt she wasn't good enough. That was just so far from the truth.
A few people including dancers seemed to understand my need for a fantasy GFE instead of a real GFE. Their "empathy" felt wonderful. :)
Getting deeper into "empathy" I'm thinking about a long term girlfriend. Her pupils would dilate, she'd become unbelieveable soaking wet, her soft natural breasts hardened like rock to the point she'd say enough, her heart would beat a million miles a minute. That was normal for us and I assumed, correctly or incorrectly, that she was enjoying the sex. One day she says that she never enjoyed it and it was boring for her. I say, but your body sure was responding. And, she says yes it was but in my mind I wasn't feeling anything. I didn't have any "empathy" for her on this issue because I couldn't comprehend how her body could be so responsive unless she was enjoying it and I couldn't comprehend how she could waste so many hours on an activity she found boring.
Anyway, it is very possible that despite a responsive body she was feeling nothing. I don't have her body so I really don't know exactly what she feels. I don't know if that meant much to her one way or the other since I'm not her. I do know it was a very long relationship and that she claimed to want marriage and children. Negative "empathy" would have been assigning my feelings or the feelings of other women to her. Well honey of course the sex was fantastic for you--your breasts hardened and you got soaking wet and your heart was racing and your pupils dilated and that means a woman is excited and since your a woman that means you were excited! The old one size fits all garbage!
I like your definition. :) Now, if you had defined "empathy" as undstanding how someone else feels, then I'd had to take out my double barrelled shotgun. LOL! :)