Well off white guys in college not getting laid vs Racial and socio-economic ine

Icey
I put your ATF on a winning team
Which is the bigger social problem facing the country?

43 comments

Latest

Call.Me.Ishmael
6 years ago
There's no way that you have this much free time and you're not a shut in.
MrPersianality
6 years ago
Well off white guys who can't get laid vote Republican(thus supporting racist, sexist, classist policies) and or become mass shooters.
Icey
6 years ago
The foundational misogyny of incels overlaps with racism
https://www.thestar.com/opinion/star-col…
JamesSD
6 years ago
I do think we should legalize and destigmatize prostitution as a relief valve for young horny lonely men.
Icey
6 years ago
I'd rather see them get social skills. Or just go for 4s and lower
FTS
6 years ago
I don't know to what you are referring, exactly, by "Racial and socio-economic inequality among the sexes." Is that income inequality between men and women? Is that racial inequality between men and women (what the fuck would that be, an unequal quantity of members of a particular race in one sex vs the other?)? Or is "among the sexes" just a useless appendage, and what you are really referring to is simply socio-economic inequality and how it is related to race?
Icey
6 years ago
Then I suggest you work on your language comprehension skills and or educate yourself on the topic at hand, if you really care. It would make you look better than feigning ignorance and lack of comprehension skills and thinking it makes you look smart.
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
"Well off white guys in college not getting laid vs Racial and socio-economic inequality among the sexes"

Well of course it is the Racial and Socio-Economic Inequality Among the Sexes which is the more important.

Supermajority: Cecile Richards Teams With Alicia Garza & Ai-jen Poo to Mobilize Women Voters in 2020
https://www.democracynow.org/2019/5/8/su…

New Era for the ERA? 35 Years Later, Will Equal Rights Amendment Finally be Ratified?
https://www.democracynow.org/2019/5/8/ne…

And yes, Incel misogyny does totally overlap with Racism.

Elliot Rodger allowed himself to be influenced by that and he spouted it back. But I think there was more going on. Don't think he was actually that stupid.

I do think we should de-criminalize prostitution, because that is what many want. In the US, Jazz is high culture. In France, Prostitution is high culture. Prostitution creates a highly refined eroticism, in the dressing and dolling up of the women, and also in the sexual expertise.

But, I don't think guys who can't get laid should be used as a justification for prostitution. I don't think that is a legitimate social problem. I don't think anyone needs remedial social skills lessons. And guys know who they like, they don't need to be told to go for 4's or lower.

Rather, I would say that college has some negative aspects and that these should be reviewed, amounts to an often problematic extension of adolescence, and the creation of some very problematic social hierarchies.

I think colleges should de-reconginze fraternities and sororities.

Want more supervised independent studies type of colleges, making heavy use of online and reading. Easy to make these free too. Don't cost much to operate in the first place.

Look at these so called "social skills" issues, along with the so called "autism-asperger's" issues, as actually a problem of social hierarchy and how it wields power.

Social skills deficits and Autism-Asperger's don't cause social hierarchy or bullying, marginalizing, or ostracizing. Rather, because some want to have social hierarchy, bully, marginalizing, and ostracizing, we have concepts like "Social Skills Deficit" and "Autism-Asperger's". Its all really just about the abuse of power.

Want more opportunities for mixed work and study plans. Of course my organization will offer all this, along with the play times being ritualized occult sex events, and the 365 day per year drained dry guarantee.

SJG

How many people here like Psychedelic Blues-Rock?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plfEvepn…

Peter Green - In The Skies ( Full Album ) 1979
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_Llz6n8…
CC99
6 years ago
"But, I don't think guys who can't get laid should be used as a justification for prostitution. I don't think that is a legitimate social problem."

It is a legitimate and serious problem. People not being able to have sex is almost as bad as people being perpetually malnourished and hungry. The solution, however, is that we need to help make people aware of the alternatives that exist if they can't find a partner the conventional way.
CC99
6 years ago
@FLF

As far as the need for sexual intimacy goes, I'm good, I found a solution. I haven't found a solution to my romantic issues, or a long term solution so to speak but I'm good in the short term. However, its important to spread the knowledge that alternatives do exist and that you don't have to be celibate just because you can't attract a girl the normal way. That way other guys who are suffering know that there's a way out.
flagooner
6 years ago
@IceyHomo
What difference does it make if the retard that can't get laid in college is White or Black?

Fucking racist.
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
CC99 wrote, "It is a legitimate and serious problem. People not being able to have sex is almost as bad as people being perpetually malnourished and hungry."

I do not agree. You are making it sound like men need to have a right to women.

I want prostitution to be de-criminalized, but mostly because it is what many want to do. Not because men need to have a right to women.

Having spent my time reflecting back on my college years, college can be really sucky, really horrid.

But this is a situation created by college, especially those elite schools which have the lowest average age and the highest average socio-economic level.

Guys who can't get laid, no, there is no such problem. Outside of college its more like, guys having to evade all the nice looking young women who are trying to jump them.

But no, access to pussy is not some kind of a right, not a reason to allow prostitution.

The can't get laid argument is an artificial one, coming from highly contrived artificial situations.

Hearing your stories about college had gotten me to much more deeply rethink my own college experiences. College can be really strange and a real problem. It hurts lots of people.

I just point out, what I think people know.

UC has the most graduate students and it offers degrees up to PhD. But it has the lowest average age and its where Frats and Sororities are the biggest deal. What this means is that primarily getting to go there, is a function of socioeconomic status. As such, one's experiences there may be really strange. And this is why I've taken so much interest in Elliot Rodger.

CSU goes only up to Masters Degrees. And it is much easier to get into. This might suggest that people start there before going to UC. But no. CSU has a higher average age, and a much higher portion of students who have at least part time employment.

Community Colleges, and we have lots, 6 in this county alone, go only up to Associate Degrees ( 2 year degrees ). Most anyone can get in, and they do GED ( high school equivalency ) and lots of remedial math and English, and ESL stuff. But these too, lots of the very young, still living with their parents, but still, higher average age than the above.

These elite schools, like UC, and even more so with the private schools, like our 3x Jesuit schools, and like Stanford and USC, and a bunch of others, these are strange places. Not everyone is going to feel at home there, or be well received.

Okay, but nowhere in any of this is there any argument which should even be considered when talking about the legalities of prostitution. The can't get laid argument is bogus. It may be true in the elite college, but it is not true anywhere else. GF's take serious time. This is only one of the problems. Most college students in such schools do not have that time. And the vast majority would not have money for much P4P.

We need other kinds of colleges.

And I want decriminalization of prostitution.

But the can't get laid, need access to women as a right arguments are bogus.

SJG
Icey
6 years ago
They're able to have sex. The problem is they choose not to go for the girls who are in their league. Its about guys wanting girls out of their league. That's not a social problem. Their personal choices are to blame. Where as a woman or minority individual does not choose to become a victim of sexism, racism, xenophobia, etc.
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
Icey, I'm not agreeing with CC99, not agreeing with you either. I don't go along with this idea of leages, or that guys are getting rejected by girls above their league. Rather, we know our society has many social types. A guy can see what girls he will likely get along with. Talking about leagues confuses this.

There is though a problem in the age and socio-economic segregation, and extreme time and pressure, at these elite colleges.

SJG
Icey
6 years ago
Social segregation is a part of life in this country in general. Its something we learn to navigate.
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
Yes, but these elite colleges are an extreme case, and it forces a guy to live in a kind of extended adolescence. The idea that there are these leagues, or the idea that we should use this as an argument to legitimate prostitution, are just wrong headed. These colleges are extreme. We need a very different type of college.

SJG
Icey
6 years ago
But until changes are made, people have to work with what's there. Coping skills, navigating the system, are all necessary skills. Its hard, a person may not be great at it, but have to try
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
Yes, but the idea that some need remedial instruction is another kind of denigration.

SJG
Icey
6 years ago
It isn't ideal, but better than continued suffering
FTS
6 years ago
"Then I suggest you work on your language comprehension skills and or educate yourself on the topic at hand, if you really care. It would make you look better than feigning ignorance and lack of comprehension skills and thinking it makes you look smart."

- Dude, what the fuck are you smoking? First you make a thread with an ambiguous title, and then you suggest that I'm "feigning ignorance and lack of comprehension skills?" I have a fucking masters degree from an Ivy League university, dumbass! Asking for clarification isn't feigning ignorance, people do it all the time! Smart people! Every single day I work with PhDs and MDs, and we ask for clarification!

The fact of the matter is, Icey, the title of your thread is vague and ambiguous. You didn't offer any explanation of what your title means, or what ideas it intends to convey. As far as I can tell, it's just a mishmash of thoughts about race, sex, inequality, and affluent, college-attending white guys.

Go back to school.
Icey
6 years ago
Pretending not to understand what is meant makes you look stupid. The average person can look at the title and assess what it refers to. This is proven by the fact that out of everyone who replied, you're the only one who doesn't comprehend or feigns to not comprehend, what was said.
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
A social skills deficit, just like Autism and Aspergers, do not cause social marginalization.

Rather, it is because some people want social hierarchy and marginalization, that we have concepts like "social skills deficit", "Autism", and "Aspergers". All of these things, they are just high brow bullying.

SJG
Icey
6 years ago
When it comes to borderline accusations, I agree. But in general, there are social norms.... and being able to function within them is important
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
"When it comes to borderline accusations, I agree. But in general, there are social norms.... and being able to function within them is important"

The frustrations which many men seem to experience in elite colleges are not caused by deviation from social norms, by "social skills deficits", or by other invented concepts like Autism-Aspergers.

What the frustrations come from is the lack of adult status which many of the men are having to endure.

The reasons for this are as follows:

1. Hard school to get into and costly to be there. Students thus of low average age and from quite well off families. Most being supported by parents. So it is still an extension of adolescence.

2. Women don't want relationships, as they are focused on high powered careers and will only be interested in men who also have demonstrated ability to pursue such high status careers themselves.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/019991…

Maybe party hookups, totally under girl's control, almost like P4P for Free. But not relationships.

3. Impacted programs, more students trying to get in, others being forced out, means schooling not really compatible with even part time job. So town girls and some women students will still see guy as immature. And he does lack many kinds of social experience. He is just about having to be celibate to complete his degree.

4. GF's take serious time. Usually they need this. To feel cared for they need frequent fuckings. So a non-student GF will usually be a problem and such have ended the schooling of many a young man. I have seen this personally.

5..Seniors in my own department had lamented that school made having a GF impossible. And they were not seeing themselves as deficient, or lacking in social skills. And mercifully the proliferation of ideas like Autism-Aspergers had not yet been dumped upon us.

CC99, this is not specifically about you. But you have posted much which has helped to shape my own understanding. So if I am missing something, or if I have got something wrong, please to speak up.

SJG

I only like this heavily track overlaid studio recording of this song, not any of the live versions. Cause of the singer's style. And I don't so much like the other guys who usually sings this either.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anpjEN9K…
Icey
6 years ago
Im not saying college isn't stressful. But people have relationships in every kind of environment
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
People in my department, in Senior Year, lamented that having a GF was completely impossible. And they were not seeing this as any kind of a personal failing. No deviation from social norms, no social skills deficit, and ideas like Autism-Asperger's were not yet being thrown around.

These were the guys who were graduating. But for everyone of them, there was more than one who had washed out or who had not been able to get in. Getting involved in part time jobs, and in relationships, were common factors for those not being with us. They just got driven out by school work that is too demanding, and so they gave up and got involved in other things.

I remember a news broadcast about condom samples being given out for some research project, like two of them. News talked to a guy at Stanford. He said of the two, "In a school like this, that's a year's supply."

We need to hear from CC99. I am not posting about him, but his accounts have influenced my thinking.

SJG

I only like this heavily track overlaid studio recording of this song, not any of the live versions. Cause of the singer's style. And I don't so much like the other guys who usually sings this either.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anpjEN9K…

Suspicious Mind - Elvis Presley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBmAPYkP…

Glenn Campbell, experience really shows, in my opinion. They have a four string bass player, but notice the guy who solos on the six string bass.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjzTNWWO…

Try a Little Tenderness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnPMoAb4…

Lauryn Hill - Killing Me Softly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KpeCk6N…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4USer34…
CC99
6 years ago
Yeah I agree with SJG's observations. College is probably the worst environment for relationship building. Even the environments at small part time jobs that I've had where there were only two or three girls my age working there at any given time, I've gotten closer to having a girlfriend there than I ever got being here at college. Party schools are especially bad about it. I'd say that if you don't want your life looking like an stereotypical 80s movie, stay far away from party schools.
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
Thanks,

Glad to hear then that I am not completely off base. But what to do about it all though?

SJG
Icey
6 years ago
If people can fall in love in concentration camps.... college isn't that bad.

I have very close friends who had the times of their lives in college, went to hard schools and had great social lives.

It may not resemble an 80s movie but its definitely not some sort of hell.
CC99
6 years ago
Unless you're one of those rare guys who can find FWBs; waifu pillows, sex dolls, and hookers are the only way for a guy to make it through these years with a good sex life. Otherwise all you're gonna get is one night stands. Or if you're a guy who found a girlfriend in high school, do not break up with her. So many guys come into college thinking they're gonna enter a sex paradise so they breakup with their high school girlfriend and then are fucked. Even most of the frat guys don't have FWBs.

I think you're right, honestly, even the frat guys don't have it that good. Most of the frat guys' don't really have sex that often, but they end up having 20-30 drunk hookups throughout the year and that places them above all the guys who either get nothing at all or maybe 1 or 2 through the year. Course if you get a girlfriend you'll have way more sex than even the frat guys have.

If you're really looking for an environment where a girl just wants to fuck every night. High school is where its at. Even the people at my college agree that if you only consider the actual number of times they had sex in high school vs now, that they had sex way way more often in high school. Even the frat guys agree with this. But so many people look at college as a time to fuck around that they can't objectively see that they'd be having way more sex if they got in relationships instead.
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
In a concentration camp you are not being expected to apply yourself to demanding material. That the programs are demanding is shown by the number of people who have washed out or not been able to get in. People in these kinds of programs are like mercenaries, or they become that way.

In my opinion its the town girls, working a job, paying rent, who really do want to fuck every night. In that they see their future. And then above I spoke about one H. and her roommate, they were in college, but just killing time. They would and did just want to fuck every night. If I pursued H., it would have been like that for me, and I would not have graduated. Not saying one way is right or the other wrong, but I feel that their is a conflict.

And lots of people had pics of high school SO's up on their walls. In many cases I now feel that this was for show.

Interesting that this kind of a topic still draws POV's which are so widely differing.

In my opinion, CC99 is extremely lucky, in that though he is in the middle of a difficult span, he is understanding how all this works at an age when I had no clue.

One thing about Elliot Rodger is that he was taking it all as a personal issue. I think the same goes for all of these self declared Incels.

My organization is intended to solve all of these conflicts.

SJG

Police - Roxanne - 2008, really altered the phrasing for this performance. Phrasing has always been a big part of their sound.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lQlajFq…

I only like this heavily track overlaid studio recording of this song, not any of the live versions. Cause of the singer's style. And I don't so much like the other guys who usually sings this either.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anpjEN9K…

Suspicious Mind - Elvis Presley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBmAPYkP…

Glenn Campbell, experience really shows, in my opinion. They have a four string bass player, but notice the guy who solos on the six string bass.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjzTNWWO…

Try a Little Tenderness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnPMoAb4…

Lauryn Hill - Killing Me Softly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KpeCk6N…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4USer34…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-RBJNqd…

I'd Rather Go Blind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZVQD9pi…
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
"Can't get laid", is like Incel. I don't agree with the idea. And I don't think policy should be based on it.

I do think prostitution should be decriminalized, but I don't think the Incel argument should be used to rationalize it.

Having said all of this though, I do think some kinds of colleges can be really shitty places.

SJG
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
"Party schools are especially bad about it."

CC99, you have said this before about Party Schools. Elliot Rodger was going to a party school. He and his father thought it would be easy for Elliot to get laid with all the students living in that Isla Vista Party Area..

Why do you think a party school would be worse than some other kind of school? What type of school would be better? What kind of school should Elliot Rodger have gone to?

If you could start over again, what sort of a school would you have picked for yourself? Any examples of such schools?

SJG
CC99
6 years ago
Party schools attract a certain kind of student. My roommate who joined a high ranked frat was actually a transfer student who had gone to a much smaller college before he came here and complained that all the girls at his previous school were "wifey" types whereas all the girls here are "bad girls." I've heard other people who go to that college say that the frats there are very tame and nice. They don't haze, they're never involved in any sexual assault scandals, girls feel completely safe at their parties even spending the night there.

The thing is, all colleges have parties, but when you go to a party school, getting drunk or high is literally all people do and their entire lifestyle and worldview revolves around it. People get dangerously competitive about who drinks the most and gets the most drunk without any regard for the long term consequences of this kind of thing. Sometimes I swear people here forget that alcohol poisoning is, in-fact, a thing. And the students there are sort of self selected due to its reputation of having a student body only being interested in drunk hookups so it becomes difficult to find anybody who chose to go to a party school that is also looking for a relationship because those girls are probably choosing other colleges.

I've thought about whether I would switch. I guess getting to know the people that I did meet has made it so I have a hard time imagining my life going any other way. But the thing that seems to really bring us together is that we feel like outcasts in a school where everybody else are such social butterflies so I think the lack of acceptance from other people has made our own friendships better. I suppose choosing a college is a difficult decision because a lot of high schoolers underestimate how much they will change during their college years. But I'd say an urban school would've been better for me. They are more diverse with a wider range of people.
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
Well, what you are describing is an all encompassing party only school. I have no idea where there would be something like that. Nothing in the UC system is that way. The majority of the students are most serious types who are in demanding programs.

Parties are though easy places to pick up girls, though they may be drunk and they may be uninterested in relationships.

I do agree with you about urban schools being more porous and having multi-cultural advantages.

What I think surprises people is that it is the girls in the most demanding programs who go sometimes for party hookups, though not relationships.

Yes, most high schoolers know nothing about what they are getting into, and about what choices they may have.

I can say that from some experiences being back on a college campus after I was about 10 years since having graduated, that just being older, girls were coming on to me.

But this does not mean that a relationship would go well. But it could still have been a start. But this was not an elite high powered school.

I do understand your idea about being outcasts bonded together.

In my experience, contact with party schools which I have had, they are not that extreme. Lots of very serious students. People who are not party people are not outcasts.

Parties, I think it needs dormitories, or a place like that Isla Vista, where parties will be tolerated. Most other residential places will not put up with parties. Noise, public drunkenness, fire safety occupancy rules. Also, walking distance helps make parties go, no cars, no concern about alcohol. I hear about such stuff in City Council meetings. Most residents do object strongly.

San Jose does have this night club district, South First Street Arts, SoFA, just a couple blocks West of CSU San Jose. But night clubs cost money and you have to be 21yo. Not like the Isla Vista party that Elliot Rodger just invited himself into. Some underground music venues in that downtown SJ neighborhood. Most people just don't know about them, and the legalities are questionable.

CC, I think you must be talking about an extreme party school, something which does not exist in UC. Maybe like where Brett Kavanaugh went, Georgetown?

From my perspective the best of college parties is, 1. Can dance with girls. 2. Girls sometimes dress sexy. 3. Might be able to make something happen with girl. 4. Maybe chance of finding GF.

Otherwise there is nothing of interest to me in it. People more open at start of term, and especially at start of school year.

Do you think that supervised independent studies would be better? How about some kind of organized work study program, working in things which help ready you for a career? Do you think people could learn better that way?

For some like Elliot Rodger, small private creative school?

Lots of online programs. But here, San Francisco, close to the strip clubs and AMPs

https://www.cca.edu/

I think there is one of these in San Jose too.

For my organization, for those in the inner order, it will be intended as a daily balance of:

1. Work, chores, meaningful, path of advancement type work.
2. Study, online and in books and discussion groups.
3. Recreation in occult rituals, where dolled up stripper grade hotties drain you dry, and sometimes sleep with you so that you can put more loads into them.

To me this is obvious, and very obtainable.

Well, thanks for all the content, and I do wish you the best CC99.

SJG

Michelle Alexander on The New Jim Crow, at Union Theological Seminary ( she wrote a very important book )
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T79I1PLT…

Paul Tillich Symposium: John Caputo Lecture
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cog1v44W…
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
Need other kinds of colleges, and mixed work study programs, life long learning.

SJG
Icey
6 years ago
It can't be both ways....you're saying its a party school with bad girls who love fucking, then you're saying guys can barely get laid....

You can always transfer, but you'll bring the same set of problems with you.
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
One has to live their life experience, can't let life be turned into a self improvement project.

CC99 is saying that the party schools demand more conformity.

SJG
Icey
6 years ago
Not really, college is the time in life when people are free to explore and discover themselves. If he wants to be with certain cliques, sure he has to conform to them.... but he doesn't have to be that way.
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
But the problem is when the entire college has become a clique.

That is the way it is in these elite schools which have the lowest average age and the least students holding employment of any type.

CSU and Community Colleges are not like this. But UC and our private schools are.

Even though UC has a higher percentage of graduate students and it has tougher entrance requirements, it still has a lower average age than CSU and Community Colleges.

When the Elliot Rodger incident went down, this was the first thing I thought about.

UC has many of the properties of a mono-culture suburban high school, such as Columbine High School in Colorado.

SJG
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
Lest anyone think that hard times for the would be male scholar are new, consider Thomas Hardy's "Jude The Obscure".

There is a 1971 film adaptation which I really like.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066674/?re…

There is a 1996 one which I don't.

But I find this today:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiYCozak…

SJG

JEFFERSON STARSHIP - St Charles '76
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlGTGfMj…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BcV-Lml…
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
can't find the 1971 film adaptation on youtube, but it is worth it to read the book.

This is good:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py8H4aCT…

and
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdjw8rG_…

SJG
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