tuscl

Have you ever been called a nice guy?

IceyLoco
But at least a nigga, nigga rich
Wednesday, March 27, 2019 1:41 PM
How do the women who call you one treat you? Do you notice it take things to a non sexual level? I thought about this.... I notice that if women want to say you're a good guy, they come up with very different ways to say. They never say nice guy to you. I think nice guy is more of a passive aggressive negative thing. I've never been called nice, even though I am. I know a guy who is fat and awkward and gets called nice all the time even though he really isn't.

51 comments

  • Jascoi
    •
    5 years ago
    that be me.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    5 years ago
    Does it affect the sexual chemistry between you and that woman?
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    Story of my life. It led to a severe shortage of getting laid while my ahole friends didn't seem to have the same problem. In retrospect it was more lack of confidence and trying to be liked by being nice instead of just being myself.
  • flagooner
    •
    5 years ago
    ^ Ditto
  • Summit21
    •
    5 years ago
    ^------ ditto. I've had different experiences with strippers tho. One that has provided more intimate contact lots of kissing. Few tjs offered free bbj because I treated them nice, but never took up the offer.
  • Summit21
    •
    5 years ago
    ^------ ditto. I've had different experiences with strippers tho. One that has provided more intimate contact lots of kissing. Few tjs offered free bbj because I treated them nice, but never took up the offer.
  • FishHawk
    •
    5 years ago
    Never been called a nice guy by a stripper, but once during a lap dance when I kissed the girl on the side of the neck. She told me I was Sweet. Not sure it helped the mood.
  • FTS
    •
    5 years ago
    Look up the etymology of the word “nice.” I learned this from a recording of a dating and relationships seminar. Nice comes from a similar sounding Latin word that means “weak, lazy, naive.”
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    No, though I am usually very nice, most people can see that I do have a dark side. SJG
  • JamesSD
    •
    5 years ago
    "good guy" or "good man" are way better. "Nice" is boring.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    ^^^^^ Very true! SJG
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    It seems to me that most strippers are an exception to the "nice guys finish last" rule. Might not be the case at ghetto strip clubs but in my experiences, the strippers seemed to act more sexual with me because I was nice to them. @FTS that's probably because having any kind of morals in Ancient Rome would've gotten you killed. This was a society that's estimated to have had a homicide rate between 100-150 murders per 100,000 people not including warfare deaths, democide from tyrannical emperors, political assassinations, and gladiator combat. The last thing we need is to be taking any kind of moral lessons from Ancient Rome.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    Being nice to women does gain you points. But a "nice guy" means more a guy who is afraid of conflict, and who is pleading to be left alone. This does not impress women, or men either. SJG
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    People say nice guys are boring but that's because they don't give them a chance. Nice guys are some of the horniest dudes out there, a lot of them jack off like 4-6 times a day and can make a sex joke out of anything. The difference is that they understand that you shouldn't direct your sexual energy towards the person you're interested in when you don't know if they are willing partners yet. The "boring" analysis is so stupid. Most nice guys would have sex all night day after day if they had a girlfriend.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    Most women seem to want guys who can show leadership and who can dominate physical and intellectual space. Nice guys are those who refrain from such. SJG
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    Relationships do not need dominant and submissive partners. The most loving relationship will be an equal one where both people consider the other to be the most important thing in life and the biggest source of happiness to them.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    Women want men who have earned status and respect in the social grouping. Having that, they are perfectly happy to submit to him. In a primitive society the most important determinant of a man's social status is has he killed, and how many times. From that you can predict how many women he will have and how many children he will have. Scalps, that's what it all comes down to. SJG
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    You choose on a subconscious level who you are attracted to. I can't stand the sight of a girl being dominated or humiliated. I have a visceral reaction of disgust and cannot watch porn that does that. That is not biological, it's a result of me having the right values and choosing to find pleasure in displays of affection while feeling disgust when I see people twisting an act of affection to become something malicious.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    The girl expects to be treated like a queen. But for that, she will sexually submit. The kind of a guy she wants is a guy who has earned social standing. Most of the time he is diplomatic. But he is also proven capable of doing whatever may be necessary. This is subconscious, because it serves an evolutionary need. It comes down to the likely number of grandchildren. [view link] Porn and S and M play are just consensual adult theater. Don't take it so seriously. SJG
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    S&M literally stands for "sadism and masochism." How is anybody okay with this? How twisted do you have to be to be turned on by somebody else's pain? Especially the pain of someone you have sex with. And how fucked up mentally do you have to be to get off on your own pain?
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    Most of the time it is the submissive who is getting turned on by their own pain. Hey again, consenting adults. Not everyone is interested in hearts and flowers. And besides, there are elements of domination and submission in all human relations. And people who engage in such play do understand power. As such they are less likely to abuse power when they do hold it over others. SJG
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    It doesn't matter if its consensual. That person is getting turned on by hurting somebody. Causing pain to another person is creating the highest state of arousal in them. That is extremely disturbing. And I don't think any elements of domination and submission should be present in human relationships. Your relationship with your girlfriend should be like having a best friend that you have sex with.
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    The submissive getting turned on by their own pain isn't much better really. In that case its fucked up for you to ask somebody to do that to you without any consideration to the fact that an empathetic person is going to be emotionally wounded from hurting somebody they like.
  • nicespice
    •
    5 years ago
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    Adults can and do consent to such. Because they understand power, they are less likely to abuse it. As far as Nice Guys, women seem to like men who pretend to be nice, but really they are highly driven and can be quite cruel. SJG
  • IceyLoco
    •
    5 years ago
    There's a huge difference between being nice to someone and being a nice guy. A nice guy is someone who thinks acting nice entitles them to pussy. Then becomes a misogynist when it doesn't. It's a euphemism for a man who isn't manly. SJG is right. Women crave submission. She wants to be treated like a queen and in return she craves submitting to her king. It's her way of respecting you. And yes life is about hierarchies and unequal relationships
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    How is that not the ending one would hope for?? At that point the webcomic people are just making shit up so that it'll look like her decision makes sense when it doesn't. Two people who have a deeper connection than they've felt with anybody else are now together? That's like the ending of every romance movie ever. I can't even count the number of people I know who've told me that the best relationships are born out of friendships. And its sleazy somehow for him to be there for her when nobody else was? To comfort her when she is going through breakups? To build a connection with her and being an easy romantic option for her because she already knows who he is and will feel comfortable enough that it will feel smooth and natural without anybody having to be hurt? So that she knows he is committed to her and won't just fuck and run off? The webcomic exposes the exact reason actually why guys in friendships don't reveal their feelings is because most girls assume that if a guy has romantic feelings for a girl that he is incapable of having a normal friendship with her and get awkward. Or they treat "i like you" as an ultimatum. This has to be romantic or it will be non-existent. Nice guys are just seeing the relationship very fluidly. Most guys doing this just like the girl and want to be around her or just enjoy talking to her, which translates to romantic feelings as well, but they don't want to ruin the friendship by forcing the issue. And yes, its legitimate to not want to force the issue. I've seen some girls online say they've had good friendships with guys before that they really enjoyed, and knew the guy liked them, but hoped they never confessed their feelings because then she would have to decide between dating him and not being friends with him. That's what nice guys are trying to avoid is forcing you to make that decision, they'd rather just continue having a friendship and let you decide when you want to date him or if you ever do. And they do get frustrated when she dates assholes for the same reason that anybody would, because you don't want somebody you like and care about to be with an asshole. You want her to be with somebody who is nice to her and won't hurt her. If anything, trying to make it all about romance immediately is the awkward part. Dating somebody you just met feels weird, its a lot of pressure, and pretty much nobody acts like themselves on a first date. The first date essentially amounts to an interview if you date somebody you didn't have a friendship with beforehand. There's also the fact that no girl wants to make the first meeting with you a "date" because everybody thinks its awkward. The creators of this webcomic don't seem to understand that human relationships progress best when they evolve. When you skip steps in a human relationship, you increase the chances that it will fail or go badly. Good relationships are formed by going through every step of the process and not rushing it until you get to the end. At any point in the process if you decide that's far enough and you can't emotionally go any further with this person is when you stop. Nice guys will be hopeful if they notice things are progressing slowly but steadily, if they see that they've reached an end and things aren't gonna go any further, its up to them to decide if they are satisfied with that kind of relationship or need to move on. But there's no need to make things about romance and dating immediately from the start just because you're interested in somebody. Having a friendship can be a much more natural way of going through the "dating process" than the way a lot of people date. Also, I don't usually talk shit about female friends' boyfriends. I think I only had one female friend of mine who's boyfriend I criticized because he was mad at her for hanging out with other guys so he started posting pictures on his snapchat of him flirting with other girls to make her jealous. Pretty much all the girls I've been friends with have dated pretty decent, respectable guys though. Usually I just don't become friends with girls who's values don't align with mine to a certain extent.
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    Tl;rd The webcomic is trying to act like he's got this sleazy thought process when his actions indicate otherwise.
  • Nidan111
    •
    5 years ago
    Have been called “very fun and respectful “, but never nice.
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    "Manliness" is so fucking subjective you have no idea IceyLoco and lots of people here seem to have no idea either. You know there's been many times in history when sexual restraint was considered manly? Women were considered to have an extremely overactive sex drive and to constantly crave sex while they thought men were the ones who could restrain themselves and that having casual sex was feminine? Ancient Greece thought that fucking another man was the manliest thing you could do and that guys who wanted to fuck women wanted to because they were more similar to a woman and related to them better on an emotional level. There's nothing inherently masculine about having good seduction skills. Certain cultures consider that kind of behavior sleazy and a sign of a bad father. I'm not the same as a feminist in saying that because gender is subjective that we should just eliminate gender roles entirely. I'm more of the opinion that we should define gender roles in a socially constructive way and that certain things which are being considered "manly" right now are really just being a fucking asshole. Instead we should go back to a nuclear family definition of masculinity. The man's duty in a family is to be a breadwinner, have a job, and make money so that his family can have a good life. Because certain people are trying to strip this away from men though, and because so many men are abandoning their responsibilities as a father by knocking up women and running away, a lot of men are reverting back to this primitive idea of masculinity instead which posits that being "manly" requires you to be tough, unemotional, selfish, and to have a callous, dominating, and uncaring attitude towards women. This is "hypermasculinity," and its a bad thing. So you also have a lot of men who see masculinity becoming defined as this and want nothing to do with it so they are opting out entirely. Instead, we should define the role of masculinity as being caring about the woman in your life, about your family and children, and as somebody who will do anything to give them the best life possible. That's a socially constructive way of defining masculinity.
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    Under a nuclear family, domination and submission will not be a part of relationships. It will just be "I have this role, you have this role, both of our roles are equally important and valid to ensuring the healthy development of our children."
  • kingcripple
    •
    5 years ago
    A bunch of strippers have called me sweet. Civvies too. You wouldn't believe the perks of being the nice guy at the club
  • Maskath
    •
    5 years ago
    I think my fave called me an awesome guy once
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    "Under a nuclear family, domination and submission will not be a part of relationships. It will just be "I have this role, you have this role, both of our roles are equally important and valid to ensuring the healthy development of our children."" The middle-class family is based entirely on rituals of domination and submission, they are just heavily neuroticized. And the middle-class family eats children. It is the children who are the exploited workers. SJG Eli's Coming (1975) - Three Dog Night [view link]
  • Fun_Loving_Fella
    •
    5 years ago
    Usually girls say I’m fun.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    5 years ago
    But we're not in ancient Greece or anywhere else. And you don't have the same derision of femininity as you do of masculinity. Being masculine isn't about being callous or uncaring towards women. And its not that you're dominating, its that they want to submit to you. There are very few feelings better than having a bad bitch who blushes and turns into a shy little girl around you.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    As I know, being told that you are a "nice guy", means that you are getting friend zoned. SJG
  • Ragerx
    •
    5 years ago
    I’ve been called a gentleman not sure if that’s worse or not lol
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    'gentleman' is mostly good. Not totally, but mostly. But you do not want to be called a nice guy. SJG
  • orionsmith
    •
    5 years ago
    Ive been called a whole lot of names. I believe I'm nice most of the time even if the dancers aren't. I think tipping the dancers is being nice. They seem to expect it a lot of the time. I never understood the one time I tipped a dancer a dollar at a side stage and she came over afterwards , said I tipped her and asked if I wanted to go have sex at a nearby hotel. I thought I only tipped her a dollar. Wondering if she got me confused with someone else or if I accidentally tipped her a lot more. That was ages ago though.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    5 years ago
    Gentleman good guy good boy with bad habits are all good.
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    @IceyLoco That's because expectations of femininity don't pressure women to be thuggish, power-seeking, tough, or selfish. The current expectations of femininity are already socially constructive. Being empathetic, nurturing, compassionate, and sweet are considered feminine qualities. These are already good qualities, so there's no point in trying to change them, in-fact, changing them would probably lead to problems. While I don't expect the majority of men to become as emotional as girls are, I deride some of the current expectations because they are pushing men into roles that are bad for the community at large. I don't actually claim that we shouldn't have gender expectations. I actually think that men and women seem naturally inclined to find differences with the way we act. I just disagree on what those gender expectations should be. The example I used with Ancient Greece was to show you that masculinity is subjective and determined by what we, as humans, choose to make it. I'm not saying that we should start considering it manly to fuck each other in the ass. I don't want to fuck another man in the ass that's not the point. The point is that you are treating what is currently seen as "manly" as what is inherent to masculinity. Now men are usually just not as emotional as girls are. There may in-fact be some biological truth to this. But that doesn't mean we can't have men in socially constructive roles and this is why I think the role of the family's breadwinner is the most socially constructive expectation of masculinity that we have created so far. Given that the breadwinner role isn't entirely outdated yet, we still have time to bring that back. But I would go further and say that becoming the family's breadwinner should be the primary expectation. While it may be difficult to entirely eliminate the expectation that men should be tough or callous or whatever, we put breadwinner as the most important role and as being better than toughness. Right now there are men who are hitting it and quitting it, knocking up women and think they are the manliest guys around because they actually consider disrespecting women to be manly, they consider it manly to be selfish, and to only care about yourself. That's what we should be changing.
  • Maskath
    •
    5 years ago
    And now I’ve been called sweet still no nice But she only called me sweet for two reasons 1. She told me she found out a girl who stripped on stage didn’t work there and she was one of the owners friends so when the one who called me sweet said If she was that hot, I told her she was pretty hot 2. She said her boobs were getting smaller, I said they still look good to me
  • IceyLoco
    •
    5 years ago
    Some would argue that femininity is toxic to women's rights. Traditional femininity is based on being passive, subservient to men, weak appearances, pressures to look a certain way, etc. I'm looking at the current situation coz that's what we have to work and deal with. What if scenarios are irrelevant to our realities. Yeah many women and men end up in toxic relationships. Men are abused when they're breadwinners, you get gold diggers, etc. Women get used. It goes both ways. Attractive men end up used as side niggas.
  • FTS
    •
    5 years ago
    This thread wouldn’t be so long if people simply realized that we are animals. We’re all fucked up from somebody’s perspective, but it doesn’t matter. Sometimes we, as animals, can’t help but behave in a certain way. Did you know there are parasites that enter into the host animal’s brain and control the hosts behavior, sometimes to the point of making the host commit suicide? Did you know that your gut is basically a second brain, and your diet plays a large role in determining your attitude, mood, and behavior? I haven’t spent any time as a woman, so I have a hard time understanding what exactly gets her pussy wet, and why. Shouldn’t worry about it though, nothing I can do about it, I’m not going transgender so i’ll never know what it’s like to be a woman. I know what it’s like to be a man though... and that’s all I need to know. I know I like beautiful women and I like my tum tum full of good food, and ice cream for dessert. I know exercise makes my muscles bigger, makes me stronger. I know those green pieces of paper called money makes the world go round and makes my life easier, opens opportunities. World doesn’t have to be complicated, just gotta try your hardest to turn off that part of your brain that thinks.
  • FTS
    •
    5 years ago
    This thread wouldn’t be so long if people simply realized that we are animals. We’re all fucked up from somebody’s perspective, but it doesn’t matter. Sometimes we, as animals, can’t help but behave in a certain way. Did you know there are parasites that enter into the host animal’s brain and control the hosts behavior, sometimes to the point of making the host commit suicide? Did you know that your gut is basically a second brain, and your diet plays a large role in determining your attitude, mood, and behavior? I haven’t spent any time as a woman, so I have a hard time understanding what exactly gets her pussy wet, and why. Shouldn’t worry about it though, nothing I can do about it, I’m not going transgender so i’ll never know what it’s like to be a woman. I know what it’s like to be a man though... and that’s all I need to know. I know I like beautiful women and I like my tum tum full of good food, and ice cream for dessert. I know exercise makes my muscles bigger, makes me stronger. I know those green pieces of paper called money makes the world go round and makes my life easier, opens opportunities. World doesn’t have to be complicated, just gotta try your hardest to turn off that part of your brain that thinks.
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    @IceyLoco Well I certainly do not want women being subservient, I do rail against that. I'm trying to fight against the idea that relationships need a dominant and submissive partner. I'm trying to help people understand the benefits of a system that has different roles but equal value. "World doesn’t have to be complicated, just gotta try your hardest to turn off that part of your brain that thinks." Absolutely not, that is the complete opposite of what people should be doing. Idiots who don't think have ruined this world throughout history and continue to try and ruin it. If people used their brains more often we would be able to make change happen quickly and setup a system that benefits the highest percentage of people. Stop thinking like an animal, think like a robot or a computer.
  • FTS
    •
    5 years ago
    ^^dumbass
  • CC99
    •
    5 years ago
    Ironic statement coming from the guy who just advocated people stop using their brains and act based on instinct.
  • IceyLoco
    •
    5 years ago
    Some things people need to think more about, others not so much. Overthinking ruins sex and relationships. Men and women should be equal, but in relationships, women crave to be submissive, especially with sex.They want to be owned,protected, to feel safe...its pure biology.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    ^^^^^^^ :) :) :) SJG
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion