Gawker you can do it, I believe in you.
CJKent (Banned)
“The more a person needs to be right, the less certain he is...”
She treat the rich and the poor equally, without distinction.
She ends all pain and suffering.
She welcomes everyone to rest in her open arms.”
Gawker;
I hope your wife is able to rest in peace soon without too much suffering.
Same goes for your ATF.
You can’t fix, change, or save your wife or your ATF.
Even when you know this intellectually, it can be agonizingly painful to accept it emotionally.
You can, however, help yourself. You have complete control over your own behavior and choices.
They both are special and unique to you and you "love" them because all the time you spent with and invesed on them.
Do what makes you happy and at peace with yourself and at the same time provides some comfort and happiness to each of them.
I remember you writing about how great the sex has been some times with your ATF, believe me most men would give part of their lifes and all their wealth to be able to experience that. Not even some male pornstars can claim they have experienced what you have.
The objective in life is to be happy, just be happy; I know our american puritanical religious upbringing brings a lot of guilt and shame to just wanting to do what is natural and make us happy, but you can decide for yourself, let you brain, heart, gut and your conscience guide you.
Finally do your best and let god take care of the rest, and be happy about it and let the chips fall where they might, don't worry anymore and be happy.
Please keep us posted on what I hope is a happy ending to your amazing life.
I wish you, your wife and your ATF happiness.
Good luck to you all.
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My ATF has been a fixture in my life for almost 9 years. She recently said, “Don’t you know it’s all a hustle?” I’m not a stupid person. I’ve known that my attraction for her was money and that she’d play that out as long as she could. But I treated her respectfully. I enjoyed her youth, her laughter, even the presence of her music and entertainment selections, while notof my choice provided variety and a break from boredom and monotony. But the drugs! Uncontrollable. When she gave up on sobriety this time was the last straw. So we packed her belongings and after the car was packed she sat at my kitchen counter and cried. “ I don’t want to go. You take care of me. You make me laugh. If it doesn’t work out with the guy I’m moving in with can I come back?”
I told her That would be the last resort.
It sounds as though your atf has feelings for you - that stem from almost a paternal/supportive basis. She knows that you are a stable, supportive, intelligent adult - and she knows you how to pleasure you (to compensate you) for your difficulties. So - there is definitely a strong emotional connection. Your 9 years of history - and closeness (over those years) - has created feelings. I think it’s possibly that your view of her (as a sex mate) - and her view of you (stable and forgiving) - are out of alignment?