I am the real father of Anna Nichol's daughter...

IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS!

I just heard DNA results have confirmed that IGU was the real father of Anna's daughter.

Congrats on being a father IGU. Now when are you going to buy all of our lap dances for us since you're the next oil tycoon?

I told this to one of my favorite dancers on last Monday. She laughed her ass off and said that I should get that put on a T-shirt. Then we both realized that a month from now the media would have dropped it and it wouldn't be quite so funny anymore...

You know, this is REALLY scary, especially for us guys that have had vasectomies. It obviously proves that build-up of sperm absorbed inside the body causes mental illness. Afterall, from the sounds of it, I think Anna Nicole Smith absorbed a tremendous amount of sperm.

All kidding aside, I used to watch her reality show, and I've seen many of her appearances on the Howard Stern (not Mr. "K") show. I always thought that Howard K Stern was a slimy bastard and a guy just hanging around for a big pay day. He always appeared as coniving and sneaky, and basically up to no good. With all of those thoughts combined, I have a theory.

I believe that Hoard K Stern has a had in ANS's son's death. Sure, it was supposedly an "OD" or reaction from the combination of drugs he was taking. Ok... sounds reasonable. BUT, isn't it coincindental that it happened so close to the birth of the baby? And that it occurred in the Bahamas?

Then you have the "commitment ceremony". Not a wedding, but it does establish some sort of a claim for Mr K in ANS's life, right? Throw in the paternity controversy. I believe Howard K is against being tested for paternity, right? But still he claims her to be his child.

NOW, you toss in the mysterious ANS death. Again, prescription drugs and the combination thereof, sounds like a feasible cause of death. BUT, rumors are that help was not immediately sought when ANS developed difficulties.

Howard K is the one constant in all of this. He's already "sold his story" - exclusive rights of the story for $1,000,000.00, so soon after the death. If I were the grieving SO, I would NOT be granting interviews so soon after the matter, and wouldn not be attempting to make MONEY from talking about my dearly departed.

And, who appears to be aligned to be put into the position of controlling the millions? It just seems too "clean" that in a matter of a few months, two healthy adults met an untimely and very early death, leaving the inheritance to a 2 month-old child.

It was drugs. Not necessarily illegal drugs, mind you, but stuff you just shouldn't be mixing.

By the way, I was at the club last night, and one of my favorite dancers came to sit and she talked about it almost interminably. Eventually, she stopped talking, so I asked if any 80 year old billionaire oilmen stopped by recently. She was fucking hysterical after that.

I think it's mainly the media that cares about this kind of nonsense. I don't think most people care at all. I certainly don't.

Funny how we care more about them, the worse off their lives are ...

Congrats on your new kid. What do you think your chances of getting some money are? 0 in $400,000,000 ?

You'd think maybe my family had more money than it does. I remember an oil rig in the back yard when I was growing up. I bet my father didn't own it. I was too young to know an oil rig in the back yard may not be normal. I guess oil was real cheap long ago.

I suspect a change in life of overindulgence eventually got to Anna. not that I knew her or anything.