Of escorts having boyfriends outside of their work

avatar for tusclfix
tusclfix
Kentucky
So I was talking to an FS escort the other day and she mentioned that she had a boyfriend. So naturally, I asked if he knew what she did for a living - and she said yes and that he didn't like it but accepted it. She said she explained to him that it was just business and was not personal / emotional.

So then I asked her if she would be ok if her boyfriend saw other escorts if it was just a physical thing and not emotional, and she said no, because there would always be the risk that it would become emotional.

Anyway, I should then have asked her if that wasn't a little hypocritical; as there may also be the risk of her getting emotionally involved with a client in the course of her work but, at the time, I was still having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea and verbalizing it.

So here I am, just curious about folks' thoughts on this. Is a man more likely to become emotionally involved with an escort than an escort becoming emotionally involved with her clients? Maybe that's true. Or maybe it is just hypocritical.

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avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
8 years ago
I always heard what's good for the goose is good for the gander so it sounds hypocritical but if you complain, she can find someone who doesn't. If she's not around when he has free time, there's nothing to stop the guy from hooking up with other girls. Yeah he might say he's faithful. Almost any horny attractive guy might find a girl willing to give him something if his so is not around to give it to him. That's why some marriages fall apart. Wives not giving bj's after marriage, guy gets it elsewhere if it matters to him. He may see it as she is not fulfilling her duties as a wife regardless of what she thinks. When spouses find out and argue, some get divorced. Just my opinion from what I read. Others get divorced because they just aren't compatible for long. Some people lie to each other, say one thing and do another.

Bill Clinton said he did not have sexual relations with an intern. We all found out he was getting bj's in the White House and lied about it. Why should we expect something different if the people keep voting for this couple as if lying is out of style? You can keep your doctor Obama said. Millions could not. Lost their employer insurance. My premiums increased several times. Hillary will be an economic disaster.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
8 years ago
Escorts (and strippers for that matter) can easily develop relationships for their clients. I know, it's happened to me.

Several years ago (wow a long ass time ago) when I was much younger and just getting into the strip club (and other activities) game I met an escort in Canada. She took a liking to me and would meet me "off the clock." Eventually she disappeared without a trace, swooped up by an older "well off" man who took her out of the escort business. I always thought "good for her."

So can an escort's boyfriend stay faithful? I'd say yes, because most guys willing to seriously date an escort and be okay knowing that their girlfriend is fucking guys all day is probably not very assertive or confident to begin with. I would say if a guy is dating a stripper and she's doing the same thing all day (banging guys in VIP) she can absolutely tell her boyfriend that "she doesn't do that type of thing" and he can be naive enough to believe her. I mean, c'mon outside of TUSCL most guys and gals don't think that thing goes on in strip clubs anyway so the deniability is there. I've had relationships with numerous strippers over the years that would say "you're the only guy I am fucking." I would think "yeah right, sure babe, the only guy today," but on the surface I would try to convince myself that she was telling the truth just to keep my sanity. What I'm trying to say is even someone like me who is a veteran to the "game" can even play the deniability as well just to make myself feel better, so I can only imagine what someone would tell themselves that doesn't know any better.

Now escorting, kinda hard to slip around that fact of what goes on during an appointment. I doubt people sit in a hotel room watching TV. I don't know how an escorts boyfriend can get around that fact of how many dicks she has sucked at the end of the day when she comes home from "work."
avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
8 years ago
Guys like that usually don;t put much money into the relationship, so they don;t care that;s the way she makes hers.
avatar for Mate27
Mate27
8 years ago
Shailynn, very insightful.

I have nothing to add. This game is too foreign to me.
avatar for tusclfix
tusclfix
8 years ago
I this case, the escort WAS telling her boyfriend that she was banging people in her job but wanted him to be monogamous, which he didn't like but accepted.

Now, whether he would really be monogamous or not, wasn't so much a curiosity to me.

But rather, how does the girl justify her position while imposing a different standard on her boyfriend?

I feel like it should be either:
1. She keeps escorting and she and the dude are more like good friends with benefits
2. She keeps escorting and she and the dude have an open relationship
3. She stops escorting and they both go monogamous (now whether they are faithful to that is another thing but at least that understanding is 'equal')

But it's a new world, maybe I'm stuck in the old.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
8 years ago
-->"So here I am, just curious about folks' thoughts on this. Is a man more likely to become emotionally involved with an escort than an escort becoming emotionally involved with her clients?"

I'd say clients fall for escorts 100x more often than escorts fall for clients ... and same with strippers. Which doesn't mean strippers and escorts don't occasionally fall for their clients/customers as well, I'd guess many of us have a story about that. But it's far and away the other direction.

Which doesn't remotely mean I don't think her view is hypocritical. Either an escort/client relationship is just business, or it's not. If it is business, and there's real trust as any relationship should have, both should be free to pursue this route. If it's not, they should both stop. It doesn't matter whether generic "clients" fall for escorts more often, what matters is whether this particular guy -- her bf -- will.

Of course, complicating this is that, despite the recent poll here, escorts -- even high end escorts -- are on the very bottom of the social ladder, below strippers, and escorts have an even harder time than strippers at attracting and keeping boyfriends. To some extent, what she might be thinking is, "I finally got a guy who is willing to accept an escort as a girlfriend... oh crap, he's willing to accept an escort as a girlfriend! I better not let him see escorts". It's silly thinking, but then again, she knows these types of guys are rare.
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
8 years ago

I don't see it as hypocritical.

It is the escort's business, not the client's. Thus it is likely easier for them to keep it professional and not get attached.
Also, the escort goes into this business to make money. The only reason a client engages an escort is to receive pleasure.

Yes. An escort may develop feelings but much less likely. Hell, we all talk about it on here about strippers.
Rule #1: it's all about the $$$. It's not you that she likes it's your wallet.
Why would it be different for escorts?

It would be hypocritical of us to profess that Rule #1 exists and then say she is being hypocritical.


If she said she wouldn't accept her boyfriend being a male escort... That would be hypocritical.
avatar for larryfisherman
larryfisherman
8 years ago
I wouldn't imagine there's a lot of honor in being the boyfriend of a escort.
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
8 years ago

But there is a lot of "honor" in paying for sex???


avatar for flagooner
flagooner
8 years ago

Well, I guess "on her" can refer to how one finishes or it could mean missionary.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
8 years ago
flag +1- it's not apples to apples - for her it's business, for him it would be about pleasue.

A more apples to apples would be if he escorted w/ women as a male escort himself.
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