So I'm 18 and go to a strip club occasionally with one of my friends. I noticed that all the girls approach him, while most of the time I am ignored. And the strange thing is that outside the strip club I am the one who gets attention from girls. And I am 6'3 and he's only only like 5'5. Like wtf, he's smaller than the dancers yet they're all over him? And when dancers do approach me they sometimes are very mean when I turn them down for a dance. Like they keep asking again and again and yell at me for not spending money! Why does this happen? And I normally try to smile and relax and look approachable, but still I rarely get any attention.
Dancers are sex "workers" interested in making money. That's a fundamental of the strip club game. If you want attention, be prepared to satisfy their "need" for money.
Recognizing your youth, dancers may be ignoring you because they assume you don't have much money to spend. Best way to change that is to load up with say $100 bucks before going to a club, and spread out your spending over a few hours. Tip $5 bills a few times at the stage and it will signal that you aren't a cheap dude.
When you are in a strip club, all dancers are watching whether or not you are spending money. It only takes a couple small "money-spending" signals to have the cuties flocking your way.
You're 18, generally customers in this age range are there to look and not spend. So dancers avoid them. They prefer older men who have money.
What is your ethnicity? If you are black sometimes dancers will not dance for you. That has happened to me.
How much money are you bringing? If you don't have a lot to spend, you should maybe stick to tipping at the stage. You can get attention that way.
If you see someone you like, go ask them if you can get a dance. Or if you see them on stage, tip them $3-5 and ask them to come see you when they're done on stage.
Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and get a dance with someone who is not your ideal choice to show you are spending to get others to come over.
Also cost of lap dances may dictate your approach as well.
Ignore the dancers who get upset about you turning them down. They are trying to intimidate you into buying a dance.
Dancers will often approach the less attractive guy because those guys get less attention outside by real girls so when in the club they are generally more appreciative and will spend or tip better than (someone like you).
Why don't you be proactive and pick the dancer, first, that you are interested in. I used to figure $100-200 for a basic trip when I was your age. That would get me about 3 lap dances and some decent $$ for stage tips for about 2 hours of fun.
Also don't use fancy rejections and don't embellish. Just say "No, thank you" and repeat the same ("No, thank you") if asked a second time. It's simple and direct and clear. A stripper is not a girl in a night club or pool hall that you need to gently/politely reject.
Or say "I'm not buying any dances from you tonight" and leave it at that. Again direct and unambiguous .
From convos with my favorites, they assume that young good looking guys are arrogant pricks coming to pick up some prime free puss and to not buy dances.
You need to show them the money (unless that IS what you're there for)
The more forward the dancers are, the better. But I still like to select and approach myself. Even though they are there to make money and used to being aggressive, selecting and approaching yourself still carries weight with them.
It's not always money. I have gone to clubs with $500 in my wallet and gotten ignored, and other times had to constantly refuse "wanna dance?" request with less than $100 in my wallet. I do nothing different in clubs where I am ignored than I do in clubs where the dancers are practically all over me.
This can be because of many reasons. Sometimes it's the management. I have been in clubs where large groups are the clubs bread an butter, and they make the dancers concentrate on large groups over individual customers.
Sometimes it's the dancers. I have known dancers who only concentrate on elderly customers, and other's only on young guys. One of the best looking and most popular dancers at one club I frequent will not dance with any customer who is older than 35. You can ask her all you want but she won't stop by. My favorite at that same club is the exact opposite, if you are under 40 she ignores you.
I think ultimately it's about the money. At most of time. There are the outliers.
When I was younger I was ignored a lot too. So I got dances from the "lower tier" girls. The hot ones saw me spending money and that opened the flood gates.
this is a hard thing to answer. I think it's difficult to pin point the reason you're being ignored
it's true that generally speaking young guys receive less attention for obvious reasons such as ppl your age generally won't have much to spend as opposed to older guys
that being said, I'm young and black (two things that you would think would work against me) and I don't feel like I've been ignored that much. So who knows
You might have to walk up and talk to her. Some strippers have a policy that they rarely if ever approach customers, they just stand around looking hot in the SC. The rational I heard is, if a stripper begs a customer for a dance, often the customer is disrespectful/etc, while if the customer walks upto the stripper, the stripper knows he will spend on her eventually. "I'd rather stand alone at the bar looking cute, than sit with a customer I picked, small talk him for minutes, then get rejected, while one of the few guys that wanted me that night, saw I was taken [who spent nothing on me] and moved on to some ugly ho".
If the conversation is painful and awkward if you walk upto her, or if you say hi, and she says do yo want a dance, you should probably walk away, she is a cold ATM that wont allow more than the minimum.
It is also how you dress. Do you look like you have $? Gold watch? Gold necklace? a suit? What kind of shoes you wear? If you look like a panhandler or a construction worker, and most people in the club do not look like bums from the soup kitchen, you will be ignored. There are some SCs where EVERY customer looks like a panhandler/construction worker/drug addict, in that case, clothes dont matter, or dressing up might make strippers fight with you because you are acting too weird in their house.
They like guys who pass out money, and a guy who is seen doing this, probably has got more besides. But my own experience is that sometimes a girl just likes you and will devote lots of attention to you. The more time you spend in these clubs, the more you can learn.
Now where I am, because the clubs are no touching, it is just talking, and the costs are lower. But I have in some years spent many many hours in our local strip clubs.
"... I noticed that all the girls approach him, while most of the time I am ignored. And the strange thing is that outside the strip club I am the one who gets attention from girls ..."
Strip-clubs are not the real-world; they function by a separate set of rules - in strip-clubs one can see a fat balding 60 y/o guy surrounded by dancers while a good-looking 22 y/o guy will be sitting there getting no attention - the main, and overwhelming, reason. strippers give attention to certain custies is just go get them to spend and b/c they feel that is the type of guy that will spend either b/c he looks like the type that would not get attention from good-looking women in the real-world and thus is more likely to spend $$$ to get-it; or he looks like he has $$$ - so in strip-club bizarro world being a young and good-looking guy often works against you - 99% of the dancers are not there to "hook-up"; if they wanna "hook-up" they go to s nightclub; party; regular-bar; etc - they are there for BUSINESS, TO MAKE $$$ - dancers do not get paid by the club and in fact they have to pay the club so they can dance there and that can be anywhere b/w $20 to $50+ per shift (they often gotta tip the DJ; bouncers; etc; *and* pay the club a fee); so they are already in the hole going-in - i.e. they are there to make $$$; they can pick-up/flirt with guys someplace else and many of them already have a man anyway - so a guy getting attention in a strip-club is 99% of the time a dancer trying to get him to spend and he may look like an easier target for a variety of reasons - sometimes some dancers like to shoot the bull and flirt w/ some guys b/c they don't feel like hustling; but 99% of the time this does not mean they are into the guy.
"... And when dancers do approach me they sometimes are very mean when I turn them down for a dance. Like they keep asking again and again and yell at me for not spending money! Why does this happen ..."
Again - they are there to make $$$ and they get frustrated when a lot of the guys just sit there "and look for free" as they see it - are you ok w/ working and not making $$$f? - neither are they and as I said they go to the club already in the hole w/ the fees they gotta pay. You seem to wanna get attention w/o having to pay for it - that's like going to a restaurant and wanting to eat the food and not expecting to have to pay for it.
It seems you are expecting to get time and attention from the dancers w/o having to spend $$$ - that's not what they are there for - and again the guys they do pay attention to is b/c for w/e reason they see those guys as the types to spend $$$ so they gonna try to hit them up - if you want time and attention from the dancers; spend some $$$; else it's like going to the store and seeing a whole bunch of clothes you like and expecting you can take the clothes home w/ you w/o spending $$$.
If you only have s small budget; then that means you just gotta be smarter about how you spend your $$$; but if you keep say no every-time a dancer approaches you for a dance then they are not gonna give your their time and attention for free; that is not how they gonna pay their bills; a strip-club is not a nightclub.
Other variables can be mannerisms. Sometimes some guys/customers have this proverbial chips on their shoulders about "having to pay for it" whether 'it' is a woman's attention, a woman's touch, or whatever the customer feels hes having to 'pay' for versus being able to get it the normal way society seems 'acceptable.' So some customers feel that they 'need' to reassure the dancer that "he doesn't have to pay for it outside the club" but what he's really doing is "he's reassuring himself that he doesn't have to pay for it outside the club." This is very patronizing to a dancer to have to hear this. Quite frankly, she doesn't care. It's a strip club and it's not reality. She (the dancer) needs money (from you) in order to pay her bills. She's not there to pump your ego. What Papi_Chulo wrote is also very correct.
If any of the preceding is correct or you feel it applies to you. Then more past that. No one cares if you feel you don't have to pay for it outside of the strip club. In the club, the dancers all pay a house feel to work there for that night .. in order to earn dance money and tip money off of you. No one looks down on attractive men who pay for it inside the club. In fact, that's the way strip clubs work. So get it out of your head that you need to feel that you are attractive and don't have to pay for it. That's not fair to the dancer who paid to work there and who took time to put on makeup, a thong, and spend time there.
--
Also on mannerisms, like any service industry, the service workers (dancers included) often "size up a group." They look for the confidence and mannerisms of the "customer in charge." Most every group has a guy or girl in charge. He or she is often seen as the one leading the group to the table, he or she may sit in the "power seat," and he or she is often the others in the group look to for decision making. Normally in service or sales jobs, the ones looking to make sales or the ones looking to earn tips are going to look for one in charge as this person often has the most money to spend, or it is fair more likely that this individual will be more apt to make quick decisions on when and if to spend money $$$, and he or she often decides when it's time to leave, and quite often it was this person's decision to come to the strip club today. So if that person is your friend, naturally, the dancers will gravitate towards him.
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But, yes, unless you are spending a LOT of money on stage for a dancer (like she's getting $20-30 or more) each time she goes up to stage/pole from you, she's going to prefer the guy getting dances ($20/pop) or the guys paying her $15-30 every 15 minutes for 'just' talking. Yes, these guys do exist. ;)
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Also it looks bad when you turn down or say no to dancer after dancer. Unless the women are that unattractive, it make you look like (in the dancers' minds) that either you (1) don't have any money, (2) aren't going to spend any money, (3) are too cheap to spend money that night, or (4) don't have the wherewithal to *find* the dancer you do want. Either way, if you aren't spending and you aren't seen spending, then yes, the dancers will start to ignore you. That's just the way it is. If you want attention you need to spend some of your money or at least be seen spending.
I agree with the others, assuming you have an appropriate budget for a strip club visit (and not all young guys do) then you may need to be smart how you spend the money so the visit lasts long enough, or maybe you just need to be honest with yourself and realize that you can't say there for very long (maybe just an hour or two) or you can't go very often, so you can make the **most** of your money for the visits as you can.
Most strippers are there to make money. In fact that's why they are working. If you are just watching and talking and using up their time with no intention of getting dances, word spreads fast among dancers and you'll be known as the guy to avoid.
I feel mostly ignored by the waitresses early in the evening. Then whenever I leave the table or want to stop drinking, waitresses show up all the time asking if I need another or clear my table when I was only gone for a minute. Last call is around 2 or 3 am though so I guess they might be trying to hustle before that.
I used to get ignored when I first started, but I learned pretty quickly how to play the game. Sometimes you gotta do the approaching, which I refused to do early on. Now I think it is often the best way to go. I have never had a bad experience when I am the one doing the asking, Yeah it kills a bit of the fantasy that many of us like where the dancer is the one pursuing us...but it's a small price to pay to get what you want instead of sitting there alone all night long.
bruh627 --> "I got money, and Im not tryna be cocky, but like shouldnt cute guys like me get special treatment? And I am muscular and tall, I kinda expect something more than what the old ugly guys get. Im finna get more attention.
And on top of al this im going to a fucking ivy league school. like, im not a loser like the other ppl in the club
but like, these other guys in the club be hella short. dont girls (stripper or not) like tall guys?
lol, ok bruh, try getting into a school with 9 percent acceptance, ranked ninth in the nation, ranked number 1 on Forbes list of most billionaire alumni, and 3rd for Fortune 500 CEOs. After that, you are worthy of talking down to me. jeez man, watch your mouth lol " --> end quote bruh627
^^^Here's some more from the "bruh". He's kind of a whiny bitch. Maybe juice was right, lol.
The inexperienced strippers will sit with the young cute guys all night and make no money, but for the most part strippers target the older guys. They look at 18 year olds as having no money. Just be more proactive, and if there's something you want, go get it, instead of waiting for it to come to you.
The only stripper I met around the age of 18 was dancing topless in the basement of a frat party. She surprised me with a long deep French kiss. She was selling stripper kisses for a dollar. Most of those were quick. I suggest meeting girls at sorority parties at the age of 18, every where you look, girls all over the place. I vaguely remember a girl I knew took me there. It was a set up. :)
I was surrounded. They took me to their basement and played drinking games.
lopawJuly 23, 2016 • I used to get ignored when I first started, but I learned pretty quickly how to play the game. Sometimes you gotta do the approaching, which I refused to do early on. Now I think it is often the best way to go. I have never had a bad experience when I am the one doing the asking, Yeah it kills a bit of the fantasy that many of us like where the dancer is the one pursuing us...but it's a small price to pay to get what you want instead of sitting there alone all night long.
July 24, 2016 • The inexperienced strippers will sit with the young cute guys all night and make no money, but for the most part strippers target the older guys. They look at 18 year olds as having no money. Just be more proactive, and if there's something you want, go get it, instead of waiting for it to come to you.
@Chucklehead I bet my bankroll works better than your good looks I already did the stripper you are trying to get OTC. She sucked in more ways than one.
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You could do any of the following:
Make it rain
Bring drugs
Greeze the bouncer
Recognizing your youth, dancers may be ignoring you because they assume you don't have much money to spend. Best way to change that is to load up with say $100 bucks before going to a club, and spread out your spending over a few hours. Tip $5 bills a few times at the stage and it will signal that you aren't a cheap dude.
When you are in a strip club, all dancers are watching whether or not you are spending money. It only takes a couple small "money-spending" signals to have the cuties flocking your way.
Happy clubbing.
What is your ethnicity? If you are black sometimes dancers will not dance for you. That has happened to me.
How much money are you bringing? If you don't have a lot to spend, you should maybe stick to tipping at the stage. You can get attention that way.
If you see someone you like, go ask them if you can get a dance. Or if you see them on stage, tip them $3-5 and ask them to come see you when they're done on stage.
Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and get a dance with someone who is not your ideal choice to show you are spending to get others to come over.
Also cost of lap dances may dictate your approach as well.
Ignore the dancers who get upset about you turning them down. They are trying to intimidate you into buying a dance.
Why don't you be proactive and pick the dancer, first, that you are interested in. I used to figure $100-200 for a basic trip when I was your age. That would get me about 3 lap dances and some decent $$ for stage tips for about 2 hours of fun.
Remember to tip the girls and/or buy dances.
Or say "I'm not buying any dances from you tonight" and leave it at that. Again direct and unambiguous .
From convos with my favorites, they assume that young good looking guys are arrogant pricks coming to pick up some prime free puss and to not buy dances.
You need to show them the money (unless that IS what you're there for)
SJG
AC/DC - Girls Got Rhythm, 1979
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaid8ZZd…
This can be because of many reasons. Sometimes it's the management. I have been in clubs where large groups are the clubs bread an butter, and they make the dancers concentrate on large groups over individual customers.
Sometimes it's the dancers. I have known dancers who only concentrate on elderly customers, and other's only on young guys. One of the best looking and most popular dancers at one club I frequent will not dance with any customer who is older than 35. You can ask her all you want but she won't stop by. My favorite at that same club is the exact opposite, if you are under 40 she ignores you.
SJG
I think ultimately it's about the money. At most of time. There are the outliers.
When I was younger I was ignored a lot too. So I got dances from the "lower tier" girls. The hot ones saw me spending money and that opened the flood gates.
it's true that generally speaking young guys receive less attention for obvious reasons such as ppl your age generally won't have much to spend as opposed to older guys
that being said, I'm young and black (two things that you would think would work against me) and I don't feel like I've been ignored that much. So who knows
Good thread
If the conversation is painful and awkward if you walk upto her, or if you say hi, and she says do yo want a dance, you should probably walk away, she is a cold ATM that wont allow more than the minimum.
It is also how you dress. Do you look like you have $? Gold watch? Gold necklace? a suit? What kind of shoes you wear? If you look like a panhandler or a construction worker, and most people in the club do not look like bums from the soup kitchen, you will be ignored. There are some SCs where EVERY customer looks like a panhandler/construction worker/drug addict, in that case, clothes dont matter, or dressing up might make strippers fight with you because you are acting too weird in their house.
Now where I am, because the clubs are no touching, it is just talking, and the costs are lower. But I have in some years spent many many hours in our local strip clubs.
SJG
Strip-clubs are not the real-world; they function by a separate set of rules - in strip-clubs one can see a fat balding 60 y/o guy surrounded by dancers while a good-looking 22 y/o guy will be sitting there getting no attention - the main, and overwhelming, reason. strippers give attention to certain custies is just go get them to spend and b/c they feel that is the type of guy that will spend either b/c he looks like the type that would not get attention from good-looking women in the real-world and thus is more likely to spend $$$ to get-it; or he looks like he has $$$ - so in strip-club bizarro world being a young and good-looking guy often works against you - 99% of the dancers are not there to "hook-up"; if they wanna "hook-up" they go to s nightclub; party; regular-bar; etc - they are there for BUSINESS, TO MAKE $$$ - dancers do not get paid by the club and in fact they have to pay the club so they can dance there and that can be anywhere b/w $20 to $50+ per shift (they often gotta tip the DJ; bouncers; etc; *and* pay the club a fee); so they are already in the hole going-in - i.e. they are there to make $$$; they can pick-up/flirt with guys someplace else and many of them already have a man anyway - so a guy getting attention in a strip-club is 99% of the time a dancer trying to get him to spend and he may look like an easier target for a variety of reasons - sometimes some dancers like to shoot the bull and flirt w/ some guys b/c they don't feel like hustling; but 99% of the time this does not mean they are into the guy.
"... And when dancers do approach me they sometimes are very mean when I turn them down for a dance. Like they keep asking again and again and yell at me for not spending money! Why does this happen ..."
Again - they are there to make $$$ and they get frustrated when a lot of the guys just sit there "and look for free" as they see it - are you ok w/ working and not making $$$f? - neither are they and as I said they go to the club already in the hole w/ the fees they gotta pay. You seem to wanna get attention w/o having to pay for it - that's like going to a restaurant and wanting to eat the food and not expecting to have to pay for it.
It seems you are expecting to get time and attention from the dancers w/o having to spend $$$ - that's not what they are there for - and again the guys they do pay attention to is b/c for w/e reason they see those guys as the types to spend $$$ so they gonna try to hit them up - if you want time and attention from the dancers; spend some $$$; else it's like going to the store and seeing a whole bunch of clothes you like and expecting you can take the clothes home w/ you w/o spending $$$.
If you only have s small budget; then that means you just gotta be smarter about how you spend your $$$; but if you keep say no every-time a dancer approaches you for a dance then they are not gonna give your their time and attention for free; that is not how they gonna pay their bills; a strip-club is not a nightclub.
This is true, you have to learn to be smart about it.
SJG
If any of the preceding is correct or you feel it applies to you. Then more past that. No one cares if you feel you don't have to pay for it outside of the strip club. In the club, the dancers all pay a house feel to work there for that night .. in order to earn dance money and tip money off of you. No one looks down on attractive men who pay for it inside the club. In fact, that's the way strip clubs work. So get it out of your head that you need to feel that you are attractive and don't have to pay for it. That's not fair to the dancer who paid to work there and who took time to put on makeup, a thong, and spend time there.
--
Also on mannerisms, like any service industry, the service workers (dancers included) often "size up a group." They look for the confidence and mannerisms of the "customer in charge." Most every group has a guy or girl in charge. He or she is often seen as the one leading the group to the table, he or she may sit in the "power seat," and he or she is often the others in the group look to for decision making. Normally in service or sales jobs, the ones looking to make sales or the ones looking to earn tips are going to look for one in charge as this person often has the most money to spend, or it is fair more likely that this individual will be more apt to make quick decisions on when and if to spend money $$$, and he or she often decides when it's time to leave, and quite often it was this person's decision to come to the strip club today. So if that person is your friend, naturally, the dancers will gravitate towards him.
--
But, yes, unless you are spending a LOT of money on stage for a dancer (like she's getting $20-30 or more) each time she goes up to stage/pole from you, she's going to prefer the guy getting dances ($20/pop) or the guys paying her $15-30 every 15 minutes for 'just' talking. Yes, these guys do exist. ;)
--
Also it looks bad when you turn down or say no to dancer after dancer. Unless the women are that unattractive, it make you look like (in the dancers' minds) that either you (1) don't have any money, (2) aren't going to spend any money, (3) are too cheap to spend money that night, or (4) don't have the wherewithal to *find* the dancer you do want. Either way, if you aren't spending and you aren't seen spending, then yes, the dancers will start to ignore you. That's just the way it is. If you want attention you need to spend some of your money or at least be seen spending.
I agree with the others, assuming you have an appropriate budget for a strip club visit (and not all young guys do) then you may need to be smart how you spend the money so the visit lasts long enough, or maybe you just need to be honest with yourself and realize that you can't say there for very long (maybe just an hour or two) or you can't go very often, so you can make the **most** of your money for the visits as you can.
SJG
I feel mostly ignored by the waitresses early in the evening. Then whenever I leave the table or want to stop drinking, waitresses show up all the time asking if I need another or clear my table when I was only gone for a minute. Last call is around 2 or 3 am though so I guess they might be trying to hustle before that.
Strippers love middle aged married guys best. They also love the short and the fat, as they stereotype them as more thirsty.
And on top of al this im going to a fucking ivy league school. like, im not a loser like the other ppl in the club
but like, these other guys in the club be hella short. dont girls (stripper or not) like tall guys?
lol, ok bruh, try getting into a school with 9 percent acceptance, ranked ninth in the nation, ranked number 1 on Forbes list of most billionaire alumni, and 3rd for Fortune 500 CEOs. After that, you are worthy of talking down to me. jeez man, watch your mouth lol " --> end quote bruh627
^^^Here's some more from the "bruh". He's kind of a whiny bitch. Maybe juice was right, lol.
I was surrounded. They took me to their basement and played drinking games.
If strippers run the other way, next time use deodorant.
lopawJuly 23, 2016 • I used to get ignored when I first started, but I learned pretty quickly how to play the game. Sometimes you gotta do the approaching, which I refused to do early on. Now I think it is often the best way to go. I have never had a bad experience when I am the one doing the asking, Yeah it kills a bit of the fantasy that many of us like where the dancer is the one pursuing us...but it's a small price to pay to get what you want instead of sitting there alone all night long.
July 24, 2016 • The inexperienced strippers will sit with the young cute guys all night and make no money, but for the most part strippers target the older guys. They look at 18 year olds as having no money. Just be more proactive, and if there's something you want, go get it, instead of waiting for it to come to you.