The Selfie of Violence

Aug 8, 2015, 3:15 AM

A stripper with whom I'm friends on Facebook posted a selfie of her bruised and bloodied face. Her comments on her broken heart implied that her boyfriend had beaten her. She later denied he was responsible, but her Facebook friends were unconvinced.

I have spent most of my life with middle-class, college-educated professionals among whom violence is almost unknown. Violence, especially domestic violence, is considered shameful. No one would post a selfie of it.

Since I started hanging with strippers, I have heard many stories of fights and beatings and assaults. Physical confrontations seem common among strippers and their friends and families. This selfie of violence, I think, reveals the self, the type of person involved.

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shadowcat10 years ago

I know one who's BF is a drug dealer and her baby daddy. He is physically abusive to her. She talks about leaving him but I doubt that she ever will. He does provide financial support for their child and is her source of drugs.

shailynn10 years ago

Jack, you have lived a different life than most strippers and they treat everything differently than you do, including their Facebook accounts.

I discovered this first hand when I had a relationship with my retired ATF. Just the life experiences and situations she got herself into is insane. I wasn't friends with my ATF on Facebook (for obvious reasons) but was able to stalk her account without her knowing. She put on there one time "can someone watch my kids for the weekend, I have to go out of town?" Who does that!?!

I think your stripper friend was doing it for attention, just like a soccermom may be bragging on Facebook about her new car or showing off vacation photos, some people use tragedies or negative issues in their lives to garner the same attention. Most people chose to keep their issues/failures/tragedies private, but others only have negative things in their life to they attention. BTW this act to get attention is not exclusive to just strippers!

4got2wipe10 years ago

This is truly sad and, unfortunately, probably not that unusual. A lot of people, not just strippers, live lives puctuated by violence.

Not brilliant! :(

motorhead10 years ago

A favorite I had about 10 years ago cheated on her babbydaddy boyfriend. (this was just shortly before I met her). After a year or so, we got to know each other pretty well and shared a lot of personal conversation. She told me about her abusive boyfriend and how he beat her up for 30 consecutive days after he found out about the cheating.

I told her that's not right. You have to get out of that relationship. And then she said the saddest thing I've ever heard anyone say: "I deseved it".

Subraman10 years ago

It's incredibly sad, outrageous, and unacceptable on every level -- but my experiences jibe with jack's, any number of strippers I know got beaten by their boyfriends, and at least one told me outright that she deserved it. Heartbreaking, especially with women I've gotten to know and like on a personal level...

Tiredtraveler10 years ago

These girls likely grew up in an abusive household in one way or another and think that is the only way to garner the attention they crave. There is not much you can do. I have heard to many stories: " but I love him" and "he promised to be better and not drink so much" . The problem is that many self righteous men look down their noses at these girls all the while asking for their favors. There are always exceptions. I was friendly with a girl (20-ish) that was just playing at stripping top see what it was like. It did not take her long to fall face first into the party hammered/stoned every night life style. I would not be surprised if she is now in an abusive relationship. Oddly enough I have also had a fav. that lived by herself more than an hour away from the club and only had middle aged white guys as regulars. She kept the club life at arm's length. She was all about the Benjamins.