Something to start the new year with
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
Jokes about strippers and blow jobs
Q: Why was the stripper upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because the examiner gave her an "F" in sex even though she blew him.
Q: How do you get a stripper off of her knees?
A: Cum.
Q. Why did the stripper have hair on her tongue?
A. She gave her cat a bath
Q. How does a stripper turn on the light after giving head?
A. She opens the door to the VIP booth.
Q. Why did the stripper fail despite being given two opportunities to get pregnant with two different guys?
A. She blew they both.
Q. Why do men have orgasms?
A. So strippers will know when to quit sucking.
Q. Why do strippers never talk after giving a blow job?
A. Their mothers taught them not to talk to strangers.
Q: How do you know you have a high sperm count?
A: The stripper has to chew before she can swallow.
Q: Why do strippers make bad bank robbbers?
A: Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
A stripper was talking to her friend about her boyfriend's dandruff problem. The friend says "Why don't you give him Head and Shoulders?" The stripper replies, "How do you give shoulders?"
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! The officer recognized her as a stripper from the local club that he had been lusting after on his last visit. Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?" "What's a license?" replied the stripper. instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. "It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop. "Registration..... what's that....?" asked the stripper. "It's usually in your glove compartment," said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer called in to the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes." replied the officer "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde who works at the local strip club" asked the dispatcher. "Uh... yes." replied the cop. "Here's what you do," said the dispatcher. "give her the stuff back, and drop your pants." "What? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop. "Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The stripper looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer test ...."
Q: Why was the stripper upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because the examiner gave her an "F" in sex even though she blew him.
Q: How do you get a stripper off of her knees?
A: Cum.
Q. Why did the stripper have hair on her tongue?
A. She gave her cat a bath
Q. How does a stripper turn on the light after giving head?
A. She opens the door to the VIP booth.
Q. Why did the stripper fail despite being given two opportunities to get pregnant with two different guys?
A. She blew they both.
Q. Why do men have orgasms?
A. So strippers will know when to quit sucking.
Q. Why do strippers never talk after giving a blow job?
A. Their mothers taught them not to talk to strangers.
Q: How do you know you have a high sperm count?
A: The stripper has to chew before she can swallow.
Q: Why do strippers make bad bank robbbers?
A: Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
A stripper was talking to her friend about her boyfriend's dandruff problem. The friend says "Why don't you give him Head and Shoulders?" The stripper replies, "How do you give shoulders?"
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! The officer recognized her as a stripper from the local club that he had been lusting after on his last visit. Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?" "What's a license?" replied the stripper. instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. "It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop. "Registration..... what's that....?" asked the stripper. "It's usually in your glove compartment," said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer called in to the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes." replied the officer "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde who works at the local strip club" asked the dispatcher. "Uh... yes." replied the cop. "Here's what you do," said the dispatcher. "give her the stuff back, and drop your pants." "What? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop. "Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The stripper looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer test ...."
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10 comments
A. Their mothers taught them not to talk to strangers."
I thought the mothers taught them not to talk with their mouths full -- or is that just during the blow job?
SJG
SJG