Hey, fuck you Willy Wonka. Not only is your Gobstopper not Everlasting, I crack them sons of bitches right quick. I got a kitchen table full of wrappers and these thangs don't last long.
How can they be jawbreakers when my jaw easily breaks them?
Hey Wonka. How bout you hook it up with some Oompa Loompa punani. Greedy bastard.


Really? Back in the day (60's) the big ones would last for days. Sometimes.