tuscl

Everlasting Gobstopper, My Ass!

SlickSpic
Hey, fuck you Willy Wonka. Not only is your Gobstopper not Everlasting, I crack them sons of bitches right quick. I got a kitchen table full of wrappers and these thangs don't last long.

How can they be jawbreakers when my jaw easily breaks them?

Hey Wonka. How bout you hook it up with some Oompa Loompa punani. Greedy bastard.

7 comments

  • mikeya02
    •
    11 years ago
    Really? Back in the day (60's) the big ones would last for days. Sometimes.
  • ATACdawg
    •
    11 years ago
    The Feds got involved. Too many children plus 25 senators broke their jaws. In 1982, a law was passed that dictated a maximum Brinell hardness rating. Despite protests by the candy companies the bill was confirmed by the Supreme Court in 1985. After five years of work, they came up with the current formulation.

    Unfortunately, another branch of the federal goverment has sued the candy companies under the Truth in Advertising Act, and are trying to force the candy companies to rename the flavorful balls "Law Pillows".

    The above is the total truth. You can trust me! ;-D
  • ATACdawg
    •
    11 years ago
    Autocorrect again. "Jaw Pillows"
  • motorhead
    •
    11 years ago
    Who can take a rainbow
    Wrap it in a sigh
    Soak it in the sun and make a groovy lemon pie
  • crazyjoe
    •
    11 years ago
    Who gobstopped an ass?
  • mikeya02
    •
    11 years ago
    Slic, the blonde in your last three pics, who is she? I'd like to give her a jawbreaker.
  • SlickSpic
    •
    11 years ago
    @Mikey-Miami's own Kathy Ferriero.
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