OTC Signs?

PL

12am dude...I think you're takin' a good lapper way to seriously. Don't buy her a present. She probably lets many men finger her and gives many men HJs. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But she doesn't want you thinking a lot about this shit. She wants you to come back with your wallet full o' moolah! You clearly enjoyed the whole experience so get your ass back to the club and get some more groovy groovy HJ action.

If you want OTC just ask. She isn't going to be insulted. I suspect dudes have asked her far some really hardcore shit. I bet the dude before you asked her for OTC and suggested she dress as Ilsa, she devil of the SS, dress him in a gimp mask, and then repeatedly taser him in the nuts. Of course, that dude was Juice and he was only offering a bucket o' fried chicken as payment. Believe me...she ain't going to be insulted by "let's meet OTC".

Maybe if you meet OTC you'll figure out what she likes and get something appropriate for her, in addition to moolah. But for now dude...bring money to "da club".

You sound like the kind of guy heading for big trouble. Never get hung up on a stripper! Her job is to make you feel like the most important person in the world, but don't confuse that with someone you're not paying to be with you. She'll take every dollar you have from you and break your heart as a bonus if you confuse her job with actual dating.

The best thing to do is cut to the chase right away....bring her home to meet Mom and start looking for wedding dates.

If a dancer told me I was me I wouldn't believe her.

I'll echo zipman and rockstar's comments. You seem to be too into her. But, I think everyone who embarks on this as a hobby goes through that learning process. So hopefully everyone's comments will help you get through this stage.

My take on your questions:

That stuff happens all the time in VIP. Don't assume you're special because you got that treatment. Assume she does that with very guy that goes back there with her. Regardless of whether they had a long interesting conversation at his table, or whether he walked into the club for the first time, saw her, flashed his bankroll at her and said "You. Me. VIP. Now. Bitch."

1. In terms of how to line up OTC, I think Dougster's motto is a good place to start: just ask. If she does it for money, she'll tell you how much and off you go. I personally think there are some girls who are more selective about who they see OTC. Since I believe that, I think technique can matter. I think this thread is helpful in that regard: tuscl.net Pay attention to three comments in that thread - those by georgemicrodong, sowhatt, and tdkrises.

2. Assume there's 0% chance she's into you. Assume she's a great actress and a great hustler.

3. She won't have any problem keeping this no strings attached emotionally speaking. It's always the customers who struggle. Especially newbies. If you want to make this your hobby, I'd suggest starting off by going to many clubs and interacting with many dancers. You'll see how alike they are in their hustle and this one dancer will probably seem less special to you. I kind of think that having a dancer you focus a lot of your strip club attention on isn't for beginners who don't know how to keep their feelings in check.

4. Don't buy her presents. At best she won't care, at worst she'll think you're creepy. Don't tip her big either, you're basically saying rape my wallet. She'll be happy just to have your repeat business.

The only thing I'll add is - this is business to her. Not personal.

@skibum - LOL!

Boy, you need to chill. Take a deep breath. Think deep. Now that your mind is clear, listen close. What you need, no must do, is stay in control. This goes for civie gals as well as strippers. The moment she has control, it's over.

When I say to stay in control, I mean that in many way. Control your emotions. Control what you say. Control how much you spend. Control the interactions between you two.

What you need to do is make her want you. Make her need you. Not the other way around. The moment you start validating yourself to be worthy of her, it's all over.

Definitely don't buy her any gifts unless you've smashed that pussy 2-3 times righteously. Even then, I'd advise against it.

Holy crap you're a blinking red stop sign man. Back away from the stripper. Back awaaaaaay from the stripper

My advise is to write your thoughts and feelings down. Writing style should be in narrative novel format.

Just dump everything in the writing. By doing this you will be able to see ypurself as the third person and also release minutiae or pressure trapped inside.

When you get it written down publish it here or publish it on a weblog.

Release that toxic minutiae bro.

Next time you walk in the SC you'll be refreshed and strong.

@12am-Always remember the wise advice of Pops Witherspoon.

"Boy, you need to whup that pussy don't let that pussy whup you."

Good thing you asked the forum early on. I'll bet most of us here have been in that situation at one time or another, myself included. Just say no! Look at it two ways; If she's playing you for the money, don't get obsessed thinking about her. Guaranteed she has done this with numerous others. On the other hand, if she really likes you, you have opened up a Pandora's Box of issues in her life, mentally and financially. Trust me, you don't want any parts of that! Keep a strong rotation of dancers, and hit other clubs. I've always said that dating a stripper can be the best short term relationship you'll ever have, and you'll be left with an empty wallet and a scorned heart if you try to take it any deeper. Just have fun, and move on. That's exactly what she's doing.

Strip clubs are bizarro world – what is up is down – and what is left is right – compared to the “real world”.

You’ve gotten sincere advice from those that have been there and done that – but ultimately you will be the one making the decision and you may think your case/stripper is different from our experience – fair enough.

If there is any advice I would give you:

1. the “bizarro effect” – in the “real world’ we tend, and feel like we should; give folks the benefit of the doubt – in SC “bizarro world”; you should do the opposite – DO NOT give strippers the benefit of the doubt – assume their interest in you is just for your $$$ until time proves otherwise

2. go read “stripperweb.com” – it’s a site for dancers – see what they say/think about us and about guys that give them gifts – at best they look at gifters as guys that sadly don’t’ know the game/reality and at worst as ultimate/creepy PLs

“… I've never been in a relationship before …”

This definitely makes you more susceptible to a stripper’s attentions/game IMO and even more reason to proceed with extra caution – assume she is playing you until she proves otherwise (and that takes time).

Don’t play with fire unless you like getting burned.

If you are unsure about OTC then don't do it.

It’s better to start slow – try OTC in the club first

:)

You're thinking about this way too much. She may not even be working there anymore when you return. Or she could say she's being watched more closely and can't give you a dance like she did before. End of your fun with this dancer. A week can seem like an eternity to me at times and she could have met and danced for a hundred guys in a week. If she really liked only 10% of those guys, she did the same thing or worse to 10 guys just in the last week.

Of course she might still be there and interested in making more money. Dancers and many others like to get money.

Dude you're thinking way too much into this. Feel things out. Go back a couple times. If you still want her and the feeling is mutual ask her OTC. I've seen strippers OTC and I've dated them. It's win win for both of you OTC. 90 percent of them need OTC to take care of their bills. Go for it young lion.

Just say no. If you're the type to overthink things or get hung up, you need to overcompensate by just saying no.

Although at first you will disagree, the best thing that could happen is that you return to the club and she doesn't even remember you and better yet - she ignores you in favor of a customer with more money. It would be a reality check & a bank account saver for you.

strippers job is to sell the fantasy. touch, smell, look even squeeze the merchandise, but when ready to buy make sure you finalize the deal up front. no surprises when she wants more $$ or tries the stripper shit!! (need rent money, car needs repair, kid needs food/clothes, ex won't pay )

I know some of the feedback you're getting might seem a little harsh, but you always have to remember that the girls are working. I've gotten the wrong idea before even when I thought I knew better. About 10 years ago I met a dancer that was typically always in VIP or looking to get back there. She came over to me at the bar, wouldn't let me even buy her drinks, and we just talked for a couple hours before we did a couple of dances. After we were done she said something to the effect of I want to see you outside of the club, and asked how to get ahold of me. We ended up trading numbers, having a lunch a couple days later and hanging out for the afternoon. It's embarrassing to admit, but I've never hit it off with anyone like I did with her. To make a long story short, a week or two later she finally told me she was engaged. There was never pay for play and we still hung out occasionally, but I never really knew why things started the way they did.

As others have said, just enjoy it for what it is. If you want OTC with her you might as well ask, you're not likely to be ruining a good thing.

Sorry to get back to y'all to such an amazing amount of feedback this late. Harsh criticism or not, I'm practically after the reality-check. There's so much to take in, yet it's simultaneously enlightening to read what most of you regulars have experienced.

As originally stated, I'm only after some fun & even if it's temporary I'm after the joyride 'til it's game over. I work as a Front Desk Agent & I've studied people consciously & subconciously since I started back last Summer (Hell, it beats taking a Sociology course in college; not to mention you get paid instead of paying for the learning experience). Though I have yet to frequent different titty-bars other than my local & another one in the city, I've been observing the atmosphere ITC diligently while simply having a good time as a patron. Perhaps the most important thing to always remember is them dancers are human 1st & foremost. I've known it's always been about the money whether we'd like to bring it up or not. Ain't that why we all work? Money, it's all there ever is.

It's funny, I wanna bring up an experience I've been haunted with for the past 3 years. Met this particular dancer back in late January 2011 & gradually fell head over heels for her yet everytime I return just to see her, we mostly catch up & have fun ITC. Eventually I began developing a mentality that deep within I really wanna jump the gun & ask her out in hopes of turning this fantasy into a reality though my other-half keeps reminding me I'm only chasing after an obsession/illusion that's gonna kill me sooner or later. & lately for the past couple times I went back, I was aching for closure yet she's not there during those times. I'm just about done, but I'm planning 1, 2 more visits tops to see if she's still there. If she's scheduled on whatever days, I'm going back to play it cautiously with questions that doesn't lead to a blow-out & see where it'll leads me. If she no longer works there, then that's the end of that chapter.

But I digress. Again, I appreciate all the feedbacks from everyone. SlickSpic, that Witherspoon's saying is hilarious, but right on! This is only the start of such researching & it's always a nice time spent on reading up as much there is about OTCs. I'm still weighing in between going all out with an escort or finding out the deal with those 2 dancers I brought up. I won't let it destroy me regardless...

@OP, Sounds like that was a fun experience, a memory to savor. This situation is covered under the general rule for life: have high hopes, but low expectations.

Sounds like an LTR is not in the picture as far as what your looking for. Tell her you would like to hook up with her OTC. Don't bring up paying her for it, let her bring it up if she's going to.

If she asks for money only after the porking, act really heart-broken that she pretended to be horny for you. Then, if you're feeling generous, give her what you can afford, and don't see her again without agreeing to $$$ beforehand.