Q: Why did the man keep throwing Monopoly Money at the stripper?
A: Because she kept putting fake tits in his face!
Q: What do you call a male strip club?
A: A cockpit.
Q: What do you call a 350-pound stripper?
A: Broke!
Q: What's the difference between a dead stripper and a Cadillac?
A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage
Q: What's the difference between a cocktail waitress and a stripper?
A: About 1 week.
Q: What's the difference between a stripper's boyfriend and aspirin?
A: Aspirin works.
Q: What does a stripper do with her asshole before work?
A: She drops him off at band practice.
Q: What's the difference between a magician and a stripper?
A: One has a cunning stunt...
Q: Why are only 5% of strippers touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
Q: Why do strippers make bad bankrobbers?
A: Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
Q: Whats better than roses on a naked stripper?
A: Her Tulips ( two lips ) on your organ!
Q: How is a stripper like peanut-butter?
A: They spread for the bread.
Q: Why did the stripper wear panties?
A: To keep her ankles warm.
Q: Why did the stripper stare at the orange juice can?
A: Because it said "concentrate."
Q: Whats the difference between a stripper and a mosquito?
A: When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and a stripper have in common?
A: They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q: Why do strippers always want boob jobs?
A: Because it's the only job they are qualified for.
Q: What do you call two nuns and a stripper?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A stripper parade.
Q: Did you hear about the stripper who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Q: Why did the stripper wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q: What's the quickest way to get into a strippers panties?
A: Pick them up off the floor.
Q: What's a strippers favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for strippers?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Q: What does a bowling ball and a stripper have in common?
A: You can put three fingers in both of them, throw them in the gutter, and they'll still come back for more.
Q: What do u call a stripper with 2 ponytails?
A: A blowjob with handelbars!
Q: What's the difference between a stripper and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
Q: What does a stripper put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What's the last thing an Oklahoma stripper takes off?
A: Her bowling shoes.
Q: What do you call kids born in strip clubs?
A: Brothel sprouts.
Q: What do you get when you cross a stripper with a systems engineer?
A: A fuckin know-it-all!
Q: Who makes more money a drug dealer or a stripper?
A: A stripper because she can wash her crack and reuse it.
Q: What do you tell a stripper with 2 black eyes?
A: Nothing. You've already told her twice!
Q: What's the difference between your job and a Dead Stripper?
A: Your job still sucks!
Q: What do you do if your stripper is running around screaming and bleeding in your hotel room?
A: Shoot her again!
Q: How many cops does it take to push a stripper down the stairs?
A: None "She fell"
One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If don’t sell more cars this month, I’m going to lose my fucking ass!"
Too late" he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That’s okay," the blonde replied, "I'm a stripper, and I have a very similar problem, If I don’t sell more ass this month, I’m going to lose my fucking car!"
16 comments
The bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig."
The woman says, "That's not a pig, that's a duck."
He says, "I was talking to the duck."
A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender "can I have a bottle of beer and a mop"
The neutron says, "Hey, how much do I owe you?"
Bartender: "For you, no charge."
So the other one could drive for a while.
A: Because she kept putting fake tits in his face!
Q: What do you call a male strip club?
A: A cockpit.
Q: What do you call a 350-pound stripper?
A: Broke!
Q: What's the difference between a dead stripper and a Cadillac?
A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage
Q: What's the difference between a cocktail waitress and a stripper?
A: About 1 week.
Q: What's the difference between a stripper's boyfriend and aspirin?
A: Aspirin works.
Q: What does a stripper do with her asshole before work?
A: She drops him off at band practice.
Q: What's the difference between a magician and a stripper?
A: One has a cunning stunt...
Q: Why are only 5% of strippers touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
Q: Why do strippers make bad bankrobbers?
A: Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
Q: Whats better than roses on a naked stripper?
A: Her Tulips ( two lips ) on your organ!
Q: How is a stripper like peanut-butter?
A: They spread for the bread.
Q: Why did the stripper wear panties?
A: To keep her ankles warm.
Q: Why did the stripper stare at the orange juice can?
A: Because it said "concentrate."
Q: Whats the difference between a stripper and a mosquito?
A: When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and a stripper have in common?
A: They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q: Why do strippers always want boob jobs?
A: Because it's the only job they are qualified for.
Q: What do you call two nuns and a stripper?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A stripper parade.
Q: Did you hear about the stripper who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Q: Why did the stripper wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q: What's the quickest way to get into a strippers panties?
A: Pick them up off the floor.
Q: What's a strippers favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for strippers?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Q: What does a bowling ball and a stripper have in common?
A: You can put three fingers in both of them, throw them in the gutter, and they'll still come back for more.
Q: What do u call a stripper with 2 ponytails?
A: A blowjob with handelbars!
Q: What's the difference between a stripper and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
Q: What does a stripper put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What's the last thing an Oklahoma stripper takes off?
A: Her bowling shoes.
Q: What do you call kids born in strip clubs?
A: Brothel sprouts.
Q: What do you get when you cross a stripper with a systems engineer?
A: A fuckin know-it-all!
Q: Who makes more money a drug dealer or a stripper?
A: A stripper because she can wash her crack and reuse it.
Q: What do you tell a stripper with 2 black eyes?
A: Nothing. You've already told her twice!
Q: What's the difference between your job and a Dead Stripper?
A: Your job still sucks!
Q: What do you do if your stripper is running around screaming and bleeding in your hotel room?
A: Shoot her again!
Q: How many cops does it take to push a stripper down the stairs?
A: None "She fell"
One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If don’t sell more cars this month, I’m going to lose my fucking ass!"
Too late" he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That’s okay," the blonde replied, "I'm a stripper, and I have a very similar problem, If I don’t sell more ass this month, I’m going to lose my fucking car!"
"what is the time zone difference from los angeles to timbuktu?"
operator replies "just a second."
the blonde hung up.