Things You Wouldn't Know if you Didn't Watch the Movies

<div style="font-style: italic">1. It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. <br />
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2. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. <br />
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3. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. <br />
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4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. <br />
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5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack <br />
you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. <br />
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6. No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. <br />
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7. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. <br />
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8. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one. <br />
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9. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside. <br />
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10 Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.</div>
11. Every single car that crashes, even at slow speeds, EXPLODES spectacularly into flames.<br />
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12. Every single Special Operations soldier that comes home, has a female relative kidnapped, and while the FBI, State Police, and local Constabulary is clueless, the spec ops guy burns down the mafia group that kidnapped her. <br />
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13. In every horror movie, if the cops were called five minutes into the movie-there would be no movie. Instead, clueless teens, one by one, go into the basement to be slaughtered by the serial killer, monster, or deranged remote relative.<br />
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14. In real life, torture is outlawed, but in movies, not only is that law ignored by cops or a deranged killer, it's usually a young attractive female who is tortured for reasons unknown.<br />
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15. Car chases take place in cities without Police cars, Police, informed citizens, or news helicopters. <br />
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16. ALL strippers have HUGE surgically altered tits and toned abs, and in ALL strip clubs, guys fork over huge sums of money to have a half naked woman dance three feet away from him. <br />
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17. Mortally wounded serial killers can not only run faster than a scared woman, but Police cars as well, and somehow serial killers can transport to simoultaneously be on different floors of a building at the same time, and can appear hundereds of miles away, seconds after killing or scaring someone.<br />
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18. ALL cops, in uniform and on duty, go into bars to drink. Often at the end of shift, these same cops go to the bar that is the hang out for cops. Apparently, defense attorneys don't make an issue of this.<br />
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19. Every prisoner in any prison is there only because they've been framed by a deranged rogue cop.<br />
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20. Every bomb has a motion sensor on it (and a collapsing circuit) and defusing it is simply a matter of knowing-blue wire or red wire (how about pulling out the det caps stupid ?)