Hello, my name is Dick!!

It ain't easy being a dick!! I got an eye I can't see with.... I got a head I can't think with... I have to hang around two nuts all the time... My nest door nieghbor is an asshole!!! And my BEST friend is a PUSSY!!!!! Worst thing is, my owner beats me all the time.... And now, cause of AIDS, I gotta wear this silly rubber suit and THROW UP ALL OVER MYSELF!!!!