How to start a harem?

The only guys I've ever seen that tried dancing on stage when it wasn't part of the announced bachelor party thing and the DJ told him to, were guys that got thrown out of the club rather fast. I often prefer to blend in to the crowd and not be that noticeable. I don't know if I'm doing that good of a job or not though. If I'm the only one tipping, I probably do stand out. Of course I'm not afraid to be different.

Bones, it sounds like you have it working for you. Enjoyed reading your example of the recent visit (at least I can take it in vicariously!).

For me, the best thing about being "recognized" (not quite a dyed-in-the-wool "regular customer," but known widely by dancers as someone who is "grown up" about gropey grabby behavior and when it is permitted, and as someone who is not a cop, and as someone who will pay good money plus good tippage) is getting more ready access to the new girls.

Ladies who've never danced before. Ladies who are in from out of town. Ladies who are in for amateur night and then stick around because ... well ... they didn't leave. Ladies who are just back into stripping after a few years off. All of those categories are just irresistibly delectcable to me. There's something sweet and genuine about them. News gets out that I'm gentlemanly and have a nice touch, and they'll be sitting in my lap for a long time. Especially enjoyable are the newer dancers who are reluctant to go to the back room too often (they haven't yet done the math on how much $$ they could make), so they stick around WITHOUT ASKING ME FOR A DANCE.

And, Shadowcat, you clearly have it mastered. You're putting in positive effort and getting positive reward. If that's the goal you've set yourself for strip clubbing (gathering the harem, will all its benefits and detriments), then more power to you! More club patrons should realize that Shadowcat's model is the "ideal" club patron. The red-neck whoop-it-up loud-mouth yokel who spanks everyone that walks by (myself included); the fat drunk stupid vomiting bragging "executive" who doesn't have the sense to take off his suit before coming in and who is incredibly niggardly with his tipping; the college boys who have $23 dollars to spend and intend to make it go as far as possible by humiliating their buddy the virgin just like they saw on "American Pie"; the middle aged men undergoing midlife crises who think they can buy back their youth by mistreating women and then trying to pay for the privilege afterwards ...

All these people should realize, that their "type" is less appreciated than Shadowcat's "type" is, at the club, whether by other patrons, or by dancers, or by club staff and management. He is the "model" to which the rest of us should try to attain. We won't get there without his level of effort. But that's what we should act like we're SHOOTING FOR, even if we don't intend to go back to the truck to get the CD of Brazilian music as often as he does.

I'ma get me some York Peppermint Patties ...

There have been times when I wish I could sit next to someone who wanted dancer after dancer stopping at their table so that I could sit in peace and watch the dancer on stage. However I found out if you become a bit of a regular that it doesn't seem quite as bad and some dancers will just start avoiding you if you never buy dances from them. I enjoy a pretty dancer sitting next to me or sometimes on my lap but sometimes I want to move around and tip some of the other dancers. Guess you can't do everything. I think if you bought a lap dance or two, the other dancers have money radar target sights set on you and you'll be targeted.

One thing I've noticed, in the times that a "harem" has developed around my table, is that it is usually a single clique of girls. And they have a major enemy clique to deal with. So, you end up with a set of, say, six or four women, out of the fifty in the club, and their presence at your table is fine and dandy, sure; but the six or four or eight or fourteen or thirty OTHER women who (so your harem says) are "total whores" or "real bitches" won't ever come over to your table.

Setting up a harem can just contribute to the internecine squabbles and bring them out of the dressing room and straight to your table. I learned the hard way, by reaching out and bringing over a girl from the "wrong" clique to have her sit on my lap a bit right after her stage set, while several members of the "rival" group had already been established at my table with their drinks and napkins and cell phones and so forth. After the "enemy" girl got away (and yes, she was very very uncomfortable on my lap, to the point that I got the wrong message that she was a no-contact dancer!) all the other girls chimed in with, "Why would you want THAT BITCH to come over here?"

I didn't know she was officially a "bitch" rejected by "my" harem. All I knew was that she had a hot body. Silly me ...

There used to be a spammer on other strip club boards who posted teasers for his book on "How to Pick Up Hot and Sexy Topless Dancers". One of his brilliant ideas was to bring a large stuffed animal toy into the club and set it on your table. Supposedly, dancers would flock to your table to see what it was all about. I don't know, I picture any guy trying that just sitting there looking sad. The sucker trick doesn't suggest as pathetic a picture, but it still strikes me as a gimmick. Like Chitown says, it's a matter of how convincingly you can pull it off.

The guys I see who always have several girls at their table have one thing in common: They spend shitloads of money. Personally, I prefer having one girl at a time sit with me, anyway.

I took home made fudge in once. I made some extra while making up my Christmas gift boxes, and I had a box for a favorite dancer. I was extremely popular that day.

Doug, this seems to have worked for you. However, I think that, like a lot of kinds of approaches with women, it works for the FIRST guy who tries it. After that, it becomes a cliche.

I really do think that the key to attracting other people (whether women or men, dancers, customers, or whoever) in any context (business, a strip club, a local political party, or whatever) is to have your own style, and work that in a way that is original.

I guess what I'm trying to say, Doug, is that I commend the originality of your idea, but I think that most of us are better advised to try to develop our own styles, rather than copying specific "moves" originated by someone else. I appreciate the essence of what you are doing--work on an approach that is unexpected in the context in which it is used, that has the ability to attract people without committing them to too much in order to check you out, etc....but I'm not going out and buying a bag of Blow-Pops.