Getting Rid of the Wrong Dancer

I seem to be good at getting dancers I don't like to leave in a hurry while still being polite about it. There have been a few times where a dancer just wanted to talk to me after I tell her the customary no thanks or not right now. On some slow nights a dancer may hear rude comments such as "Get Lost! We don't want a dance!" I believe that works but is not real polite.

Doug: Did you consider sitting at PR seats? Less likely to be bugged there, except for brief intermission between sets.

I just find being a regular YOURSELF works best. The girls in the club that know me, know I don't care for others sitting with me. The new ones, one rebuff and other dancers will let her know and she won't do it again. Of course, my favorite is always welcome, if there.

But being a regular would mean keeping all other girls away, including the hot ones. It seems like a rather crude solution to a non-problem to me.

FONDL: That's not always the case. I've been in the clubs many times when I have at least one regular dancing. When either she is on stage, in the dressing room, or for whatever reason is not at my table, I've had girls plop down in the empty chair before I had a chance to do or say anything (usually before I even noticed she was on her way).

The beauty of having the regular, though, is that once your regular DOES get off the stage, come out of the dressing room, etc., she will come to your table, and will get rid of your unwanted guest for you.

None of these things ever happen to you if you have a regular at the club. Which is a big reason why I always try to have one.

Book Guy, you must be encouraging them. Seriously, that's pretty extreme. I've never had anything close to that happen. In my early years of clubbing, I had a few problems with pushy dancers, but even then I never had a girl appeal to a bouncer. Maybe it's the clubs I go to, although I try all kinds. The pushiest girls I've ever seen were at Market Street Cinema in San Francisco back in around 1996. I can't remember how I fought them off, but I probably didn't bother being polite. I bet I've been using the "saving that seat for somebody" line for close to 10 years without it backfiring once. I still think it's the best approach to take 99.9% of the time. For the others, try a can of mace.

A month ago a girl sat down, we chatted, and I decided that no way was I going to get a dance with her. When she asked, I said no. She asked for a drink and I said no. But she continued to sit next to me. Other girls would not approach, of course. But there she was. Finally I said, "I think I'll sit by myself for a while." She left in a huff, but heck, what do I care if she's in a huff? It was the most polite way I could think of to get rid of her.

Book Guy put it best ------ a simple 'I am waiting for another girl' always has worked. last night I must've dropped that line a half dozen times and every girl I used it on left shortly after hearing it.

Im soft. Usually I'll just ignore them or start staring at the stage etc. I have used the following a few times: when I see the unwanted bee-lining toward me, I spring up and go tip at the stage then go to the restroom and maybe tip at the stage again on the way back (it works). One time there was this particularly aggressive big buffalo who kept talking, and moving in then started playing with me (no it's not a good thing when the lady is a 2!). I had to manually extract her hand from my crotch then.....suddenly, I was allergic to whatever she was wearing; starting rubbing my eyes, coughing, fake sneezing etc. It worked too.

Chandler: if that were enough, that would be all that I'd do. "Thanks but no thanks" doesn't work with pushier dancers. Telling her "go away now" seems a bit aggressive, and in certain places (PP in Memphis, f.e.) if you offend a girl with too direct an affront she'll fetch a bouncer and lie to him that you tried to stick your beer up her crotch or something. I've had girls come up to me in pairs and try to sit in my lap, and when I didn't lean back to allow them to sit, and while I was saying "No thanks, not right now," they pushed harder and harder against my hands and shoulders. When I said, "stop, please" they pushed even harder. Then, when I pushed back and said, "please don't," they play-acted falling backwards and hitting the table behind them, went off in a huff, got a bouncer, etc. etc. Big scene. All they WOULD have had to do, was just go, "Oh, sorry," but instead they insist that any male whose lap they want to sit in MUST let them sit. No, not the case missie.

Book Guy: I don't see any need to tell them who you're waiting for. When I say "someone", I may not have a particular girl in mind, just "someone" I find attractive. I also prefer "saving that seat" over "waiting for someone", because it sounds more assertive, less at their mercy.

Yeah, in Doug's scenario, I certainly wouldn't let an uninvited fuglie keep me from chasing down a hot babe. I might not say anything more than quick "Scuze me."

This and Doug's thread about non-circulating dancers leads me to wonder: Are the guys who complain about dancers not circulating the same guys who complain about fuglies they can't get rid of? I try to handle both issues myself before they become problems. Once you let a fuglie sit with you for more than a couple seconds, she's liable to act upset when you get around to suggesting she leave. (It may be just an act.)

In an ideal world, you could just take a seat and every stripper you want - and only them, not the fuglies - would come around, one after another, and join you. The reality is that you have to forgo being passive all the time in order to have it your way.

My best solution is, "I'm waiting for someone else." Often I'll even point at someone else hotter. Doesn't matter who, if the problem is a Fuglie sitting at my table, worst that can happen is "someone else" sees me pointing at her and gesticulating wildly, "come over here," the hotter girl sits with me.

At some of the higher-pressure clubs, girls just posit themselves at your table without asking. That's when you have to look them in the eye, be confident but polite, and find your cojones. "I'm not interested right now" is another good line.

First of all, I never have my eye on a girl all evening, I choose one who is available and spend my time with her. I'm not there to wait, I'm there to have fun, and if there's no one available who appeals to me in the time it take to finish a beer I'll leave. Second, I don't ever sit at a table by myself, that's just asking for problems. It's much easier to keep a fuglie from joining you when you sit at the bar.

In your scenario, I'd just flat out tell dancer- "Hey, I promised Ms Hottie that I'd get some dances from her, gotta run now". Still, in other cases you still don't want to be "tied up", so generally saying you're not interested in dance right now, and /or, declining to buy dancer drink will get her to move on. In 1 extreme case when dancer just would not leave, I flagged down another dancer for a LD. The particular dancer was a mid-choice type, but kinda knew me from previous visits, thus mission accomplished without too much bad vibes.

I try to catch them before they sit down. I politely tell them I'm saving the seat for somebody else. It works practically every time without any awkwardness. BTW, Doug, this question gets repeated here a lot, so it must be a problem for many guys.