well, i haven't bitched about "feature dancers" in a while

LeeH
Georgia
Went to Pink Pony last night, the only club I go to that has "feature dancers", and dammit, they had one last night. Free tip for you newbies -- "fitness model" is apparently SC code for "skinny bitch". As usual for features, she had no dancing talent, whatsoever.

As always, the *real* dancers have to just sit there in reverence of the feature. And as usual, the DJ sends them all back to the dressing room halfway through the feature's 6-song set, so they can later re-emerge for 2-for-1's (and so you can't even look at *clothed* beautiful women).

The best part, though, was during the 5th song of the feature's set, when the DJ plugged the VIP rooms and encouraged us to take someone back there. Seeing as how he had just sent all the dancers away, I assume he meant that I was supposed to take the fat, drunk guy next to me. Glad I was light on cash.

14 comments

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  • georgmicrodong
    14 years ago
    The only place locally that I've been to that any any "feature" dancers worth the name was Godfather's. I never saw the point, because even the best of them was always outclassed by a significant segment of the dancers. At least they didn't make the other girls disappear, though.
  • samsung1
    14 years ago
    how much do they charge for feature dancers doing lap dances? Here in Columbus, Cols Gold has a feature dancer every weekend but $50/song is too expensive. They occasionally run specials of 3 for $99 but still damn expensive. Alexis Texas is hot enough though that I might consider it. Also Priya Rai was in town a couple weeks ago and she would have been fun but I was not available to go.
  • Rod8432
    14 years ago
    LeeH,

    Totally agree with you - what a buzz kill. I start getting depressed the moment the DJ begins his upcoming announcements of the feature act. And during it, I'm underwhelmed and bored, the regular dancers look bored, and nobody's having fun or making money, with the exception of the feature act.

    We all sort of tolerate it, and in the end, the 2-for-1 songs are cut short anyway. I still wind up giving the girl the full $10/each dance ($20 total) because by golly, it's a bargain anyway and it's my little show of solidarity with the girls...
  • farmerart
    14 years ago
    Alberta clubs regularly bring in so-called "stars". One Calgary club is advertising Chelsea Charms as the attraction of the week of October 18-23. Thank the lord I will be in Vancouver then or I am sure I would go just to see the "midway freak show" of the grotesque Miss Charms. Hmmm. What will happen during the loonie/toonie toss as coins bounce off those monstrous basketballs on Miss Charms' chest???
  • shadowcat
    14 years ago
    art, you got that shit straight. I had the misfortune of seeing Chelsea Charms back on July 29th at the Atlanta Goldrush. Each tit weighs 26 lbs. It was nothing but a freak show.

    I dislike feature acts and other gimmicks. If I just happen to be there, I will stay but damn sure wouldn't go out of my way to see any of them. Although I would have like to have seen Jenna Haze when she was at my favorite club several months ago.

    The good thing about feature acts at my favorite club is the fact that lap dances do not stop. So while the young boys are watching them, I get more privacy in the lap dance room. More privacy = higher mileage. Bring em on. LOL...
  • Rod8432
    14 years ago
    I do need to add that if any of the feature acts was worth seeing, and actually got me into the club on a given night, it was Jenna Haze. Man, she gets me going in her videos with her bedroom eyes and that lisp of hers. Worth the price of admission to tip her at the rail and for the picture with her naked on my lap later on.
  • Prim0
    14 years ago
    I did see Janine Lindemulder at Columbus Gold several years ago. She actually did put on a hell of a stage show and when a guy laid on the stage to tip her, she was all over him with her hands down his pants...WHY THE HELL WASN'T I THAT GUY!
  • LeeH
    14 years ago
    gmd: "The only place locally that I've been to that any any "feature" dancers worth the name was Godfather's."

    Damn, they had strippers at a pizza place?

    samsung1: "how much do they charge for feature dancers doing lap dances?"

    They don't do that. The feature "dances" 2 six-song sets and sells crap that she's in/on, and that's it.

    Rod8432: "I start getting depressed the moment the DJ begins his upcoming announcements..."

    I started getting depressed when I saw the marquis outside the club.

    Rod8432: "I still wind up giving the girl the full $10/each dance"

    Yeah, I do, too -- at least when it follows a feature where they haven't made a penny in the last 20-30 minutes. Apparently, last night, I had my stealth capabilities turned on, though. Made long eye contact with two dancers as they paraded out and neither came over. Maybe I'll take semaphore flags next time.
  • gatorfan
    14 years ago
    Feature dancers are like bachelor parties, they take away from the usual strip club routine.
  • jabthehut
    14 years ago
    I have seen two featured dancers at SCs. Julia Parton was at what is now PT's Brooklyn (it was named something else back when i was there) in Brooklyn, IL. The other was another porn star, whose name I don't remember, at Babe's in Pensacola.
    In couldn't wait for the regulars to get back on stage, especially at PT's.
  • whimsylights
    14 years ago
    I went to see Jenna Haze when she was performing at Fantasies club in my area because she is one of my favorites. Kinda funny that the dancers kept refering to her as "the porn star" instead of by name.

    I did get 1 lap dance from her for $160. Slight mood killer was the 300 pound bouncer sitting 5 feet away. Also the only time "don't stick your tongue out" was a rule for a dance.
  • Rod8432
    14 years ago
    LeeH - I had a good chuckle at your semaphore comment. I too must have on my invisible suit sometimes.

    I always sit in the low club chairs at the "Showbar," on the raised area to the left/rear of the club. After the feature act, most of the dancers parade right by me on their way to join the other girls on stage. I always give solid eye contact and a little mutual finger touch (like a low high-five) as the girls whom I know/recognize and would like the 2-for-1 dance, pass by. But there are many times when none comes back - even though I'm a semi-regular. I guess they get waylaid somewhere else before they make it back to where I am. As you said, perhaps flags would help...

    There are some sweet cuties there, by the way - Sabrina, Rachel, Gina, Zoey, Jordan...
  • LeeH
    14 years ago
    Rod, that's usually where I camp out, but those seats were taken so I was sitting at the *end* of the showbar that night.

    The only name I recognized was Gina -- is that the Gina that's a bit older? She *is* awesome, but in such freakin' high demand, I've only gotten to spend any appreciable time with her once.

    I only have one fave there -- Rita -- and she's suddenly become high demand too. At least the times that I've been there. Got to see her for about 20 minutes that night, and she said that I was her good luck charm. Sucks for me, though.
  • Rod8432
    14 years ago
    LeeH - I don't know that I've heard/seen Rita there. But if she's your fave, I'll definitely keep my ear out for the name.

    Bingo on Gina, the older Italian-looking babe with large implants. I'm NOT an implant guy, but for some reason, hers work okay with me. She carries them well, has a killer personality, smiles whenever I see her, and usually gives me a light peck or two when sitting together.

    Sabrina is almost Native American looking - high cheekbones, long black hair, beautiful natural breasts, and shaved pubic hairs so her lips are bare but with a nicely coiffed rug just above. She's popular and I can see why. Hard to get ahold of for dances, but makes me feel like a million bucks when I do.

    Rachel is a total sweetheart - tall, early-twenties, blond hair, brown eyes, and a stunning natural body with large, heavy round breasts and no tattoos. An ATF for me if there ever was one.

    Zoey is another all-American looking girl with modestly-sized natural breasts, mid-twenties, wears glasses, and sports the biggest smile I've ever seen. She never stops smiling and I can't help but feel good around her.

    Jordan is runway model material. Brown eyes with straight brown hair, her body is tattoo-free and flawless, and I swear, her ample natural breasts defy gravity. She's a little more distant personality-wise, but still gives me a wave when seeing me and makes a point of stopping by.

    Also, I can't forget about Serena. She's a Russian woman in her early-twenties with the most dreamy eyes I've ever had the pleasure of staring into. Her slender body is flawless with spectacular natural breasts. She could play a Russian spy with aplomb in any James Bond flick.

    And lastly, let's not forget Carla behind the bar. She's efficient at her task, fun, cute, looks fantastic in her tight PP tank top. It's always a good night when she's serving me, a real "Cheers" experience.
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