Psyche!
georgmicrodong
Just a fat, creepy old pervert.
So, I'm in another club tonight, and one of my favorites from before the ATF is working there now. She's 23, or claims to be anyway, fairly pretty and does a pretty good job of pretending she's enjoying herself, without going overboard.
Anyway, she recognizes me when I walk in, gives me a hug and asks if I'll buy her a drink, so I do. When the drink comes, she drops the bomb and tells me that she's pregnant, about nine weeks along. Coincidentally, this was just about the last time she and I had fucked. So what do I do? Naturally, I offer my congratulations:
Me: Really? That's great, congratulations! It is "congratulations", right?
Her: Um, it's possible that it's yours.
Me: Nope, don't think so. Remember, I'm the guy who wears a condom when you blow me, much less fuck.
Her: [A little upset] Yeah, but it broke that time, remember?
Me: Um, no, I don't remember any time that it broke. (I truly don't)
Her: [A little more upset] Yeah, it did. Don't you remember me getting pissed about cleaning up?
Me: Nope, and besides, even if it did break, I've been shootin' blanks since you were in second grade.
Her: ...
Me: Sorry, sweetheart.
To be fair, she looked like she might actually have believes that it could be mine. She was pretty crestfallen when I told her, but I suppose there's at least as much chance that's because she can't get me for support as it is she just doesn't know who the daddy is. I sincerely hope, for her sake, that it's her husband's, but the way she talked to me, I don't think she believes it is.
I get this checked about every five years, much to my doctor's amusement, so I'm pretty sure I'm still ineffective in this regard. And the last check was just about a year and a half ago. Better dig those results out, eh? :)
Anyway, she recognizes me when I walk in, gives me a hug and asks if I'll buy her a drink, so I do. When the drink comes, she drops the bomb and tells me that she's pregnant, about nine weeks along. Coincidentally, this was just about the last time she and I had fucked. So what do I do? Naturally, I offer my congratulations:
Me: Really? That's great, congratulations! It is "congratulations", right?
Her: Um, it's possible that it's yours.
Me: Nope, don't think so. Remember, I'm the guy who wears a condom when you blow me, much less fuck.
Her: [A little upset] Yeah, but it broke that time, remember?
Me: Um, no, I don't remember any time that it broke. (I truly don't)
Her: [A little more upset] Yeah, it did. Don't you remember me getting pissed about cleaning up?
Me: Nope, and besides, even if it did break, I've been shootin' blanks since you were in second grade.
Her: ...
Me: Sorry, sweetheart.
To be fair, she looked like she might actually have believes that it could be mine. She was pretty crestfallen when I told her, but I suppose there's at least as much chance that's because she can't get me for support as it is she just doesn't know who the daddy is. I sincerely hope, for her sake, that it's her husband's, but the way she talked to me, I don't think she believes it is.
I get this checked about every five years, much to my doctor's amusement, so I'm pretty sure I'm still ineffective in this regard. And the last check was just about a year and a half ago. Better dig those results out, eh? :)
27 comments
Chances are your tax dollars will go to supporting the baby (welfare)
As for your comment about welfare, ss1, no doubt in my mind at all, if if she *did* know who the father is.
Combine that with the other stuff, I ain't worried. She's not going to even get the chance for a DNA sample, once a judge gets a look at *multiple* zero sperm count results.
"The kid is not my son..."
1. My wife didn't get pregnant once, not even a late period, though she had ample opportunity.
2. Multiple tests for sperm presence and viability showed as close to zero as it's possible to get. Multiple, because I'm paranoid, and because I too know people for whom it failed.
Mine was cut, cauterized, folded over, and sewn shut. As the years progress, it becomes increasingly unlikely that things will grow spontaneously grow back. It's SS, plain and simple, and even if she does push it, I have the medical evidence to back it up.
After my vasectomy, they told me I couldn't drive so I rode my bike home.
Posted: 07/08/10
This stripper is clearly a) stupid, b) a liar, c) a thief, and d) a whore.
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my guess is all of the above.
jack: I'm guessing *all* of them. :)