It’s a Dirty, Little Mime

A favorite club girl, Sweet, took me to a mime show. Although it might seem odd for this forum, I wrote it to provide a contrast of the United States culture and the Mexican culture.

One of my PERSONAL joys is learning about the culture of the countries I visit. Which is unlike most of the mongers traveling to Tijuana who go there for one purpose, notching the bed posts. Please take it as intended, an observation of the cultural differences, or don’t read it at all.

So, we begin with Sweet picking me up with her personal driver (just someone she patronizes to provide her with transportation in a Hyundai). In transit she asks, “Have you ever seen a Mime show?” I dated a woman who lived in San Francisco in the 80s. Every third performer claimed to be a mime and she was a fan, so “yes.” She said, “But the Mexican mimes are funnier.” No matter. I always enjoy my time with her and learning about how Mexicans live. My expectation was to be bored for a few hours, and then to be “entertained” as only Sweet can.

We drove about 20 minutes out of Tijuana to an enclosed mall. Inside the mall were the typical businesses surrounded a couple of areas sunken by about a foot, creating a stage environment. One of those was set up as a performance area, with benches around.

The perimeter, including the upstairs area, was crowded with spectators, mostly families. Children ranged from teens to babies in arms. The first performance was a dozen 12-and-under kids selected from the crowd demonstrating their dancing skills. Most imitated the likes of Michael Jackson or just did their best to move in rhythm.

The MC was attired as a mime, a glittering suit with black-and-white face paint. After the young ones performed, he called out for young adult females. Sweet works in the clubs and loves to be on stage, so she encouraged a young woman sitting next to us to join her in the lineup, totaling four participants. All were between 19 and 30 (Sweet). Of note, Sweet looks like she is 16, especially since she is about 4-foot 10 inches tall barefoot, has a baby face, and dressed in frumpy, baggy clothes that hid her DD boobs and big ass.

The mime interviewed the women. The women were 19, 18, and 21. They all claimed not to have boyfriends, except Sweet, who pointed me out. When he asked her age, she said she was 30 and he expressed a look of shock, which most do. (I walk down the street with Sweet, and most people think she is either my young daughter or that I am paying her hundreds of dollars to be out with this old Gringo.) He looks at me and holds up three fingers. I nod to confirm.

The mime comes across the stage area to me. The crowd is laughing. He mimes some questions. First, are we married? Since I sometimes call Sweet ‘my Mexican wife,’ likely she told him that we are married, so I said yes. Then he asks if I have a lot of money. I indicate that I have little money. He then asks how big is my dick? (Remember, the audience is largely families.) I indicate that it is about twice the size it actually is (of course) and the crowd laughs. Then he asks how old I am. I told him 70. He passes the information on to the crowd, and they go a little nuts…in a good way. He smiles big, gives me a high-five, shakes my hand to congratulate me on being able to satisfy this little living doll.

He then returned to the lineup of the four women. He had each of them do a freestyle dance for about 15 seconds. All very tame until he got to Sweet. Sweet did a few spins before she took off her coat, hit the floor in a push-up position, and started humping the floor. The crowd loved it. (I am guessing that if this were done in the USA, the show would have been raided at that point.) The mime used her long coat to wave, trying to cool her down, then threw it on her to cover her ass. Again, the crowd loved it.

He then, by applause, asked the crowd to indicate their favorite. The first three got polite applause. Sweet got loud applause and cheers. It didn’t end there.

The mime set a small, child’s folding chair on the floor. Note that the mime is about 6’ 3”. He has an assistant who is about 6” 1”. Both are very lean and likely in their 40s. He sits his assistant in the tiny chair (which was pretty funny in of itself) and encourages the first girl to give him a lap dance. I was a bit shocked when she climbed on his lap and started to grind on him.

The mime quickly stopped the show. I thought he was doing so because it was getting too risqué. Nope. He got a chair for himself, sat next to the assistant, and had the young woman did her grind on both of them. Again, I was surprised that she did so well. She was cute, sexy, and clearly knew what she was doing. (I got a little excited myself.)

The mime returns to his MC duties and encourages the second girl to perform on his assistant. She is not quite as blatant as the first girl but still performed as if she had experience. The third girl performed about the same as the second. A little bit shy but executed similar stripper moves. Sweet takes her turn. (They had no idea what was about to happen.)

She starts by stripping off her coat and doing a sexy strut around the assistant, forcing him to try to track her as she walked behind him. (I was afraid that she might take off more clothing.) She takes his hat and puts it on herself, which causes a chuckle from the crowd.

She gets in front of him again and pushes him over backwards. He is on his back, on the ground, so she climbs on him reverse cowgirl and starts dry humping him. The assistant raises his hands, indicating that he is trying to resist grabbing her big ass. The crowd goes nuts with laughter and applause. The “dance” ends in a matter of seconds and with a huge smile on his face he actually had to be helped up. I don’t know what the assistant said to the mime, but I can guess.

So now it is time for the audience to pick a winner. Numbers one through three get a nice round of applause as the mime holds his hand over their heads. Sweet gets loud applause, cheers, and shouts. Her reward was a T-shirt and a few trinkets suitable for a seven-year-old (which she gave to her five-year-old niece).

It was all in good fun, but I would wager that this kind of performance would be frowned upon in almost every part of the USA. (In Tennessee and Texas, they all would probably be executed by stoning.)

It also points out how little additional training Mexican girls need to qualify to work in the likes of Hong Kong or Chicago Club. Before I started visiting Mexico, I saw the country as being very conservative and that the girls who worked the clubs as being the exception, not the rule. I even had some conversations about the strong religious leanings and the supposed conflict with their profession as Mexican putas. That night, showed me that there is an acceptance of that profession across demographics, blowing my image of an ultra-conservative Mexican culture.

This also answers the question, "What else is there to do in Tijuana?"