Journal of an Indian Stripper

After my divorce, I felt much more free to explore and focus on myself. My awful marriage just drained me. When I discovered stripping, I discovered that's just what I needed. I have two traits that would be helpful in stripping: exhibitionist and extrovert. From my upbringing, I thought strippers were girls from broken homes and so desperate for cash that they'd demean themselves. The guys visiting strip clubs are porn-addicted perverts. I was WRONG. Did I mention that I grew up in a conservative, religious environment? That's what our society tells us. Years ago I'd laughed at the idea of women finding stripping empowering. In the early 2000s when pole dancing became a popular fitness activity, my curiosity got to me. Holy shit! I discovered that pole dancing is much tougher than it appears. My shoulders hurt and I was sore. Around this time, I went to my first strip club with a couple of guy friends. I was a closet bisexual woman and I wanted to know if straight men and queer women have similar interests. I didn't know what to expect. I had a great time. I got a lapdance from a beautiful redhead who talked to me about life of a stripper. I paid her out of courtesy to tell me more. That night my attitude and prejudices towards strippers and men who visit strip clubs changed. Strippers are no different from me. Nothing wrong with a guy enjoying watching beautiful women naked. Fast forward twenty years to my post-divorce. I wanted to try pole dancing again. I enjoyed not just the exercise part but also embracing the Sensual nature. I started fantasizing about stripping. Yet I wondered who would even want to watch me. I have flaws and a little belly pooch. Am I too fat? It took a few friends to encourage me. I then decided to try amateur night at RI Dolls. They had Fat Tuesday for Mardi Gras which is amateur night for BBWs. I got a bikini and a screen wrap. Why not play up my ethnicity? I froze in straight fright when I was called up and forgot my pole tricks. I had experience in theatre. One thing theatre taught me was to "think on your feet." Keep going as if nothing happened. I smiled and gazed at those sitting in front. Then started shaking my hips and I improvised and got on the floor. Just enjoy myself and show enthusiasm. It felt exhilarating and pleasurable to get naked and have others watch me. The night went well. I gave lap dances and got a private room with one customer. I enjoy meeting different people, flirting, and having a good time. Approaching men is new to me. I'm used to the reverse. That first night gave me confidence. There were girls bigger than me and I got compliments. I auditioned at a few local clubs till I found my home club. Competent management and good coworkers are nice to have. I also paid attention to who shows up. It's a mix of regulars, party guys, older mature guys. It's been a few weeks. I'm still going. Cultural background: Indian strippers aren't common. It's our culture. Strippers are equated to prostitutes. Also there are certain expectations for women, especially older women. Good women don't "go out." Though that's changing. Even going to a club is scandalous for women. That's changing. My family is progressive and OK with me going out to clubs, dating outside my race, but stripping would be met with questions, drama, and trying to persuade me out. My mother is very prudish and has old-school attitudes towards female sexuality. Sex is for marriage. Women shouldn't be interested in sex. Sex is about women giving men their bodies not a shared pleasurable experience. You can imagine how much shame was heaped up on me. Only now I'm realizing that it's perfectly OK and wonderful for a woman to be confident, bold, and fully embracing her sensuality. When I'm on stage, I get excited and enjoy moving my body seductively. It's funny how our ancestors created the Kama Sutra and erotic art in the ancient temples, yet our modern culture is very prudish. Indian customers: I see Indian customers more than Indian strippers. They're surprised to see an Indian stripping. My manager is hilarious. He told a group of guys that he flew me from India this morning and I'm a well-known porn star in India. We laughed about it. Sadly the stereotypes of the Indian man in a strip club exists. It's frankly embarrassing. I end up educating the ones new to the country on strip club etiquette. Not all Indian men obviously. I met a few decent guys. I'm talking about the ones who are cheap, demanding, disrespectful. It's the guys who bitch about the cover charge, sit on stage and won't tip dancers, not ask but demand "extras" and unable to take no for an answer. And act overly aggressive and pushy. It comes across as desperate. It's annoying. That's why they get shunned by dancers. Embracing my body type: I have days when I feel "fat." The girl who makes the most in my club is thick and has some extra weight and wears glasses. It's her personality. She's warm, friendly and great at connecting. It's hard not to compare myself to other women and feel discouraged. I decided to instead play up my good features: eyes, hair, legs, naturally large tits, skin color. I also focus on naturally enjoying dancing and working on sensual moves. I can't do inversions on the pole yet but I know belly dancing and incorporate those moves. I'm in my 30s and I have no idea how long I'll dance. For now I'm enjoying the moments on stage and at the club.