My Trip Report on Colombia Mongering
Garfield84
ATL
I arrived in Bogota on a Thursday early evening. My flight touchdown at El Dorado International airport in Bogota around 7:30PM. After I got off the plane, it took me about 30-45 minutes to clear customs. At the airport, I went to the money exchange center to exchange my American dollars to Colombian pesos (COP). I exchanged about 150 U.S dollars to Colombian pesos . That is about 577,000 COP but with airport fees I think they gave me about 555,000 COP. It cost me 80,000 Colombian pesos (80.000 COP) to grab a taxi outside the terminal to take me to my hotel in the southern part of the city. I chose to stay at Hotel Tequendama due to its close proximity to the strip clubs and red light district. The hotel was divided into a standard hotel and another building that had suites. Despite being in a “not so nice” area of the city, the suite was quite nice. My suite had a full kitchen (regular size refrigerator and a stove), living room and a nice bedroom. I believe it was 133,000 COP per night ($35 USD) which was a great value. After I checked in, I cleaned up and got a quick bite at the 4th floor restaurant. After I ate, I was ready to go mongering. Colombian style.
As I mentioned, hotel Tequendama is located in Santa Fe area of Bogota. It’s not the best area and actually was featured a while back on some documentary (maybe HULU or Amazon Prime) as one of the World’s most dangerous cites. I’ve heard this proclamation about cities due to their high poverty and crime rate, but you FELT this. I have been to several rough areas in North American cities such as Baltimore, Los Angeles, Philadelphia and Tijuana, but I never felt uncomfortable like I did in Santa Fe. I have to admit; for someone that works in West Atlanta every day, it was a bit intimidating going down there at night. Then the people I encountered on the way did not help. The staff at the front desk advised me not to walk there (as it was very close to the hotel). The Uber driver look at me as I was crazy when he realize I was going down there “todo solo”. When my Uber and I arrived in the Red Light district around 10-11PM on a Thursday night, it was a ton of seedy individuals outside mixed with a ton of street girls (some of which were moderately attractive with fake asses and tits. As I sat in the front passenger, the Uber driver called his buddy as if they were going to come with me to ensure my safety. I learned two Spanish words that night; ladrones (thieves) and peligroso (dangerous). After sitting on the side of the street in the Uber between La Troya and Paisas Club, I said “fuck it”. I did not come all this way to “chicken out”. I wanted to see some hoez and if the clubs were in the most dangerous section of the city, so be it. With that being said, I bid adios to the Colombian Uber driver and made a beeline into to La Troya.
I had a great time in Troya (see review). I can’t say the same for Paisas club. As I had visited Troya first and had a great time, I was expecting more for Paisas club. Maybe Thursday nights are just not a good night for Paisas club. This was the main club I was coming for. It was dead. It was just as big as Troya which I thought it was going to be bigger. There were maybe 10 girls on stage and none tickled my interest. I was there for maybe about 10 -15 minutes and returned to Troya night club. I spent the rest of the night at Troya until about 2:30AM. I attempted to go to this spa place that I heard about from a YouTuber (you probably can guess who) in the northern part of the city but they closed at 8pm. With my new Uber driving, we drove around checking out other places, but most things closed at 3AM or 4AM. The Redlight district of Bogota also thinned out quite a bit at this time. It was still SGs out there, but I’m not down with that. I wonder where do you take them to do your business??
Friday and Saturday I was in Medellin. I took an early morning $100 flight from Bogota to Medellin via LATAM. The ride from the Rionegro (where the Medellin airport is located) to the city of Medellin provided a great scenery. The Lush valleys, hills, windy roads were nice. My hotel was in the El Poblado section of Medellin near La Florida. It was a signature hotel in a great area. Very plush.
Friday night, I put on some nice clothes and took in dinner near Parque Llereas. From there I walked around Parque Lleras and bar hop and checked out the beautiful chicas. They were everywhere. But with my limited Spanish, it was very hard to talk to them. Around 11pm, I decided to hit up La Isla (see Review). It was so good, I ended up going again on Saturday night (again, see review).
Saturday night, I checked out more clubs in the Parque Lleras area. The funny thing about Parque Lleras is that many of the regular girls are p4p (pay for pussy or pay to play or whatever acronym you prefer) as they are in Fase dos and La isla club. But I would be very cautious about the girls you meet in a club like Gusto. These girls want to come back to your Airbnb (or hotel) and while some might be legit, some are looking to drug dudes and rob them. I heard these stories before I left and I met dudes with similar stories from Americans I bumped into. When I was in La Isla club, this former American Airlines pilot told me a story where he passed out with some girl he invited back to his spot. He woke up and all his shit was gone including his pilot badge and cash. Not sure why the puta wanted his pilot badge. Come to find out there is this drug plant called Scopolamine that would knock dudes out. Girls would put it in guys drinks but they also would put it on there bodies (i.e. breasts for you titty lovers) and I heard in some cases where girls would blow it in the target’s face. Intriguing. I’m not sure if I was anyone’s target in Medellin or Bogota. But I did have an interesting confrontation with these two girls.
I decided to check out club Gusto which is one of the most popular clubs in Parque Lleras. I had just had a wack lay with this girl at La Isla. Originally, I thought most of the girls were regular girls, but on Saturday they were mostly pros (hookers) trying to get taken back to one’s Airbnb. It was a lot of good looking girls on a Saturday Night. There was this dark skin chick with a fat ass and all white. She was definitely my type. There were several “my types” in Gusto, but this one girl that really caught my eye was this long hair, brunette sitting with her back on the bar. To me, she looked like my favorite active pornstar, Victoria June (minus the ridiculous fake tits and ass). I quietly observed her as she was with two other dudes which I feared one was her boyfriend. I finally got a chance to talk to her when I ran into her again about 30 minutes lady on the other side of the bar. She spoke no English and my Spanish was very limited. I bought her a drink and we exchange information as she headed back to the other side of the bar. “Well, that went nowhere” I thought. Club Gusto had an outdoor balcony in which patrons would smoke. I ran into her again, this time she was with a friend. Her friend’s English was a lot better than hers. She knew I was interested in her friend, so she gave me the deal. This chick told me they come together as two. They would have a threesome with me for $300 USD. The girl’s friend was okay, but I was hesitant for several reasons. For one, I only wanted the Victoria June look alike. Secondly, $300 was like American prices and I wasn’t down for that. Most importantly, it sounded like a setup. I had heard countless stories of men getting drugged and robbed by these whores down in Colombia. They wanted badly to come to my hotel in El Poblado. I didn’t feel comfortable allowing them to come to my hotel. Many hotels won’t allow guests in the hotel and if they do it’s usually 1 guest and they must show ID (which the hotel photocopies). I offered to take them to a short stay motel that was nearby. They declined. They started to become even more suspicious. Then the friend knock off $50USD off the price to $250 to come to my hotel for this supposed “threesome”. This didn’t feel right, so again I declined. Dejected, the friend said because I talk to them, I should give them money, because their “time was worth money”. Ha. I thought. I refused. They got up and left and went back inside the club.
After Club Gusto closed, the crowds from the clubs in Parque Lleras emptied into the drizzled, Saturday night streetss. People were chatting it up and police were trying to get people to head home. This taxi driver told me about Club Paradise which was La Isla’s after hours spot. That was so great, I almost didn’t leave until 6:30AM (see review)
Sunday, I jumped back on the plane to head back to Bogota. I arrived via LATAM in Bogota around 4:30PM. I dropped off my bags in at my hotel in Tesaquilla Bogota. I made a beeline to this spa someone had told me about near Champinero section of Bogota called Sensita Spa (google address). This place was hard to find and it’s near a bakery spot called Myriam Camhi. This spa had terrible hours but I heard the girls were incredible and the service was even better. They were open Monday through Saturday from 8am -8pm. On Sundays, their hours were10am-6pm. I arrived a little after 5pm. I push the doorbell and I was buzzed in. The spa was nice and I was greeted by this one girl. She didn’t tickle my fancy at all as her face wasn’t attractive and neither was her teeth. The second girl came in the room and her body was trash. I was told there were only 2 girls there since it was so late on a Sunday evening. I was about to leave and then I spotted this long hair brunette in a purple jump suit and with some Crocs on peaking beyond this crack in the door. I said “damn, who are you”? She said she was about to leave but I convince her to stay. It was 5:35 and she agreed to go to 6pm. She wanted 200, 000 COP ($52 USD). She put on her lingerie and high heels and led me upstairs to this massage room with a table. As she disrobed me, she kissed me all over including my lips. Her sensuality was much appreciated. She had me lay on my stomach on the massage table and gave me a deep tissue massage. With every rub, she kissed a different part of my body. My legs, my ass, my balls, my back, my neck before finishing kissing me in my mouth. She flipped me over and put the condom on with her mouth. She put a little lube on her kitty kat before she put me inside of her. She rode me cowgirl and reverse cowgirl style while grabbing the ceiling. We both would glance at the mirror to the side and watched us fuck each other. I flip her on her back and took her missionary as we kissed passionately. Then I decided to hit her doggy. I loved hearing her moan. I stood up to pile driver her and the moaning intensified until I filled the condom. 5:58pm. Not only did I finish before 6pm, but I finished before the FSU-Notre Dame game and before my Fantasy NFL Draft. DM me for her IG profile.
After taking in dinner, drafting my fantasy football team and listening to FSU lose in overtime to Notre Dame, I wanted to check out this spot the taxi driver who picked me up from El Dorado told me about. The place was called Lido in north Bogota. It was a club that high end pros. I heard the club was really good on Fridays and Saturdays but Sundays was weak. The club was definitely high end as bottle service was needed at most tables. I decided to sit at the bar, while the pros surrounded me like a pack of hyenas to a wounded gazelle. This one blonde MILF was damn near begging to give me head and how she love “sucking dick”. Her FS services was 800, 000 pesos (~$210 USD) plus there was a charge for the room which I didn’t even hear because once I heard 800,000 COP, my ears turned off. The girls were nicely dress like Michelle Pfeiffer in the movie Scarface. The girls here were of higher quality and class. Most walked around with their designer bags, heels and dresses. They were definitely a higher class than those girls that were in Troya and Paisas or the street girls that lined the Red Light District in SantaFe.
It was definitely an achievement to get Colombia crossed off my map of cities to visit. Especially for mongering. I wanted to go to Cartagena but they had a curfew at midnight so I just wait until the pandemic is over, over. FYI, you need a negative Covid-19 test to get back into the USA which is a bit nerve racking of the possibility of being stuck in Colombia. Is Colombia better than TJ?? IMO, Hell no. TJ kind of caters to Americans while Colombia is very Colombian. I also like the club vibe of TJ’s red light district compared to Bogota red light district. Bogota’s red light district have more a cantina vibe and the clubs are much smaller. There is no Hong Kong in Colombia. La Isla is cool and it has the most beautiful girls I seen in one place in Colombia. But with the quantity and quantity of Hong Kong and Adelita, TJ wins. But I’ll visit Colombia again too. Now go and enjoy my two reviews of Troya and La Isla.
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9 comments
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Was there a noticeable difference b/w the Bogota and Medellin women or about the same?
Colombia has long been a fantasy destination for me due to the beautiful women and the seemingly exotic locale. But the risks likely will keep me away. Sounds like a place an American would be better off going with a wingman or two as opposed to alone. Couple that with the risk of having to quarantine there for however long if you test positive would make for a nerve-wracking trip. Glad it worked out for you, but your story also made me appreciate the comforts of TJ and Club Hong Kong even more.
Very nice write up. I just left Cartagena which is a different place than Bogota, Medellin or Cali. I once lived in Cali for a short while. Just a few comments for the crowd. English is not as common in Colombia as in Mexico but people are willing to help. Night time in the big cities, especially the wrong part of town, really is a time and place to avoid. Cartagena is a bit of an exception. Being more dependent on tourism and currently under pressure from the Venezuelan refugees, the local populace will physically take action against street thieves. A nice thing to know but I still wouldn’t let down my guard.
And Scopolamine is no urban myth. It is more and more prevalent in Ecuador, Peru and Colombia. Be careful out there.