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JeffJefferson

Traveling Troubadour

My work takes me to cities large and small (well, large and midsized), and I enjoy spending time -- and often investing money -- with some of the locals when I can. You can consider this advice, but I'm not sure my expertise outshines enough of the true Mongers on here to be your guide. However, these thoughts could also be simply my story and my observations. Use this as you fit -- or not.

I really believe that first impressions are worthy of our intention. And whether the visitor or the dancer picks up on a good first impression will truly set the stage for the rest of the evening. So, I do my best to make a good first impression with the women who intrigue me. That starts long before I drive up or get Ubered to the club. It starts in the hotel. Clean up. Shower. Smooth shave. Pleasant (but not overbearing) cologne. Wardrobe choice that will help me stand out from the crowd -- in a good way. Too overdressed is counterproductive in all the the ritzy-est gentlemen's clubs which entertain the upper crust businessmen. Obviously, underdressed or sloppy gets you or me no where, unless the club is so empty that afternoon or early evening that the dancer has to lower her standards.

Attitude says a lot to the people who are paying attention. And, the ones paying attention are not just the dancers. The bartenders, the cashier and the dance desk, the house mom, even the valets and doorpeople will shape my experience, if I can show myself to be upbeat, confident, friendly, and fun -- never cocky, blatant or cheap. There can be a nervousness if you are new to the process, or if you are new to the city or that club. There will be a few adorable women who find that shyness or nervousness adorable too, but that is pretty rare. (Or, it can be used against the guys if the dancer is able to utilize the guy's uncertainty to part him from wads of his money.) Not good.

Step up, chat up the people who work there, and demonstrate that you are worth their time, and that you will be worth their efforts toward you. Don't hover at the stage, and don't cling to the back wall. And, please, don't stare (and don't drool). It doesn't go well if you treat the entertainers as a three-dimensional enhancement of what you watch during lonely nights online. Have conversation. Don't compliment the body parts -- not first, anyway. Find something unique about her moves, or her costume choice, or HER very evident attitude of being fun or alluring or ____whatever, as she was dancing, or basking the the guys' adoration.

For some of you, this comes more naturally. For me and others of you, it can be developed. Practice. Find the focus toward what she will notice as a positive first impression about you -- you noticed Her, and she stands out from the crowd in your eyes.

As for the women in the super-high heels: I really am drawn to those who also are out to make a good first impression on us. We notice. Sure, we notice the skin-to-silk ratio, we see the lace and the sparklies, and we notice the feminine body parts. Those are all given, but we also can tell if you seem to be enjoying being there. Good eye contact draws us in. Clever chat as we offer you a dollar bill or a smile will eventually enhance your bottom line for the night. If you are your cell phone, then seem almost grumbly when your name is called, we are less likely to imagine that you are eager to be with us -- at the tip rail or somewhere in the more lucrative back half of the building.

I notice a heartfelt smile (even if in any other setting I would be pretty sure it wasn't heartfelt). I even more notice a coy wink as you take the stage and begin wiping down the pole before you even start. Your first kick or spin is not when I get my first impression of you. I start as soon as your beloved DJ announces your "name" and you come out of the dressing area. If you are scouting around the room looking for the one or two guys who intrigue you, that becomes obvious. If you can use your feminine wiles to make me believe that I am one of the ones who really intrigues you, I will be oblivious to most everyone else in the rotation the rest of the night.

One other note about first impressions. Because many of my SC trips are aligned with my business trips, I will tell pretty quickly whether or not you are even open to exploring someone beyond your personal favorites and the reliable locals. I understand that repeat customers are probably more lucrative for you in the long run. I also understand that a fairly significant percentage of us from different zip codes -- and different time zones -- can be rather scary or icky. Still, as you send out those initial vibes into the room, I ask that you keep in mind that some percentage of us travelers are fun and responsible and attentive -- and we often carry big piles of 10s and 20s and 50s as we left the conference center or the client's office to go shower up and find fun. Your regulars will be there tomorrow night and next week. I and my itinerant brothers may be back in town next month, and we will remember whether to choose you or your place or somewhere else better TUSCL reviews and with fewer disappointing previous experiences.

Obviously, there are some adjustments in my openness to possibilities and how long the timetable toward Potentially Promising will remain open. How many dancers, how many customers, is it afternoon or evening or after midnight, is it a quieter weekday, or is it a quiet-so-far weekend show? Those will shape how soon the window for receive positive first impressions will stay open for me.

To be fair and equal, it's also safe to say that a dancer's first impressions of the guy will shape whether he will be approached further into her shift. If those of us with our tongues out drooling can't avoid searing that image into her memory, then she will invest her time all night long with the guys (and any visiting women in attendance) who caught her attention in more positive ways.

That's first impressions, and they don't usually change much on either side of the tip rail. Oh sure, there may be good reason to give that sultry brunette or the curvy blonde or the playful woman of color the chance to overcome a misinformed first impression. I want to be forgiving, but I have begun to learn that what I pick up in my first 5 and 10 and 30 minutes in a place really needs to determine if it's going to be worth it to drop a pile of bills later on. In fact, if I haven't had a good first impression from at least one promising Girl Next Door -- or maybe a couple of dancers that could maybe grow on me, or me in their eyes -- I will likely not stick around for hour #2.

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