SeekingArrangment: A Cautionary Tale
abqspencer
somewhere fun
Get messages from a girl on SA, cutie, decent messages. She asks me to text so we can get to know each other better. We start texting (I use a Google Voice number, as does she). We go from introductions to pics pretty quickly. Nothing over the top, though.
Day Two:
She sends more pics, a little hotter, then asks what I'm looking for in a SB. I tell her, honestly, that I'm in an arrangement and want to devote my time and energy to this one girl. But I also describe my ideal SB. She's fine with everything and says she's honestly just looking for someone to help with groceries and the occasional bill here and there, as she's in college.
We continue to text/sext throughout the day some. She's "in class" so the texts are spread apart some. She keeps mentioning wanting to meet, so she can get some $$. I continue to tell her no, I can't. She asks a few more times for grocery $$...I give in and ask her how much she needs. It's only $40, so I figure, sure...least I can do for the pics/vids she's sent me.
She requests PayPal and sends me her link for it.....THIS IS WHERE I WENT WAY WRONG!!!!!
I send her $40 through PayPal that evening.
She sends more pics/vids, thanks me, etc. Then when she's "at the store" she says the total was close to $60 so can I send a little more. I send $25 more, we are now at $65.
Still begging to meet up, to make it up to me, etc. More pics are sent to me, vids, snapchats... she wants to talk on the phone that night, so she calls me through snapchat.
Gives me a sob story about her phone going to be turned off, so I figure, let's meet the next AM, I'll pay her phone bill (she says $60) and have some fun with this hot chick. Then she says she'll meet me 5 days later instead. At this point I'm thinking, never mind, this girl is flaky, I don't want to meet her after all.
She's begging for cell phone bill money now. I tell her no, I paid upfront on the groceries and won't pay upfront for anything else. She says she understands.
Day Three:
Says she got her phone bill paid. Then says "small world, my sis knows some of your family"
Uh oh...wtf.
Says my wife's name. FUCK
I ask her how this came up and she says she was showing her sis my profile or something, and knew my wife and my pics from seeing her on FB or something. Whatever...shit just got real.
Immediately goes in to the When can we meet stuff. I tell her not sure (I was busy at the moment anyway, but stalling to figure shit out too). She blows up my phone constantly during all of this. Tons of messages. Wants to meet, etc. She promises my wife won't find out, nothing's wrong, and so on. But I'm on high alert.
She asks for money again. I tell her no, I helped her yesterday. Then she says she feels like a side piece...wtf.
Then the threats start. She says my wife will find out since I'm being mean (um, what?). Wants me to pay her for her silence. Wants me to send by PayPal again. I tell her no way, in person only (I wanted to get her in person so I could make her delete everything in her phone...I realize she might have had stuff sent to a friend or something, but it's the best I could do). She says no, money now AND in person.
Then she says fine, money now and SEX in person. Ugh...I tell her again, money in person only. She says no, she's telling my wife everything. Says she'll ruin my marriage, etc. It's a mess of texts back and forth of course.
She finally agrees to meet if I send $50 now and $$ in person. I make her give me her address before i send. It's apartments and she'll send the apartment number when I get close. So I send the $50 (I know...shut it!).
I call a good friend and say "I need a no questions asked favor right now, can you help?" And he agrees. I wanted back up in case shit went even more sideways than they already are. Go pick him up and we head over there. Plan is to drop him off nearby so he can walk around acting like his on his phone, but watching my back. I had no intention of going in the apartment at any time, but he's there for extra security in case there's others nearby.
I get the apartment number when we are there. We got there early to drive around the complex and scope it out.
We get there and she goes radio silent. Nothing for like 30 minutes past the meet time. Look around for the apartment number, and the number she gave does not match that complex. At all. So we split after waiting a while.
Then my phone blows up. Babe where are you? We had a deal. YOu're fucked. Etc. I tell her she's playing games, that number doesn't exist, and we are done.
She goes off on a rant. Says I owe her $50 for "setting her up" and if I don't pay by X time she's blocking me and telling my wife everything. I decide to go silent on her. I give nothing, no replies. Just let her continue ranting.
Day Four:
In the afternoon she texts and says I owe her $100 or she's telling my wife. Goes off on everything ,etc.
I reply and tell her I've told my wife and while she's upset we are fine. I then tell her what she's doing is Extortion and is a 3rd degree felony. If she contacts me, my wife, or any of my friends I go to the authorities with everything. She goes silent, except for a snapchat message late that night.
OH...during this Day Four, a few of her texts actually came from a real number, I assume hers...so she really messed up there. I now have a way to trace back to "her" and get more information on her.
Bottom line, I screwed up using PayPal to send her $$ since it was connected to my email address and she was able to find out more about me than I should ever possibly allow.
I've notified the SeekingArrangement website that she was extorting me and they are looking in to it. She's blocked me on there, but I've found another of her profiles, very similar name, same pics that I've seen.
Be wary, guys...there are scammers everywhere. I got lucky (so far).
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I know I recently saw a very wealthy customers public page pop up in my suggested feed. the first post was him with his wife and she was tagged. He had been begging me to come to his hotel and fuck and I had proof. This girl in the story probably runs that scam all the time.. Be careful out there dudes
Agree (and also strongly supported by the reddit sub). And will also repeat my claim that if stripper flakiness bothers you, well, strippers are pikers compared to what you'll run into on "Seeking". Which is not to say you can't also find amazing women on Seeking, but you're going to have to wade through a lot of mud to find them.
Spencer, total bummer man. You probably don't need to hear this, but you did make a series of rookie mistakes. Good thing you recovered before the damage got worse
SJG
This all happened in May 2018, btw. I've since then had many very good encounters with sugar babies, one arrangement lasted quite a few months before she moved away. And I'm currently sitting in a hotel room in a different state where I have an AWESOME sugar baby...she should be here any second :D
But of course I have met crazy girls (like one who cried and wanted to get married) or the no shows, or the ones where we don't click and move on. But never got scammed or extorted following these basic rules.
It does seem like there are more scammers and black mailers on SA that a few years ago.
As others have said, your mistake was not using PayPal, it was agreeing to send her *any* $$$ in the first place; that's how she(?) knew she had you on the hook - they are smart-enough to know to ask for a small amount vs an outrageous sum like $2000, the intent for the big-scammers is not to get a little $$$ but use the little-$$$ as the hook to sink their teeth into you.
I live by one rule: People (not everybody, but most everybody) are pieces of shit and can't be trusted.
Not to be critical, but you had to realize that the first payment (for nothing, come on, man, you can get all the naked pictures you want for free on the Internet) would lead to a second, and then another. She saw a sucker and wasn't about to let her foot off the gas pedal, as useless scamming whores are prone to do.
Also, I always use a burner email (with a fake name) for all my sex-related endeavors, like signing up for his site, for example.
The only difference is I could give a shit less if my SO finds out since we’ve been on the rocks for years.
Nevertheless I still enjoy the “game” and the occasional OTC with her. Never would I SEND money to anyone ever. I think that was the OP first mistake. Also ALWAYS meet at her place. Look for clues that it’s actually her place such as pictures, she knows where things are such as soaps, her makeup etc. If it doesn’t pass the sniff test, bail out. There’s plenty of fish out there.
(0.5) Don't waste time with texting. Arrange a meeting in a safe public place as soon as possible.
(1) Payment doesn't start until her cloths come off.
(2) Meet & greets are UNPAID. This weeds out 99% of escorts.
(3) If she asks for money in advance, just block immediately.
(4) If her profile contains the word "platonic" hide her profile, and move on.
(5) I've never faced an extortion attempt -- but if I did I would text her saying that extortion is a felony in all states and then block, with no further communication. Chances are very good that she's bluffing.
Maybe I'm just lucky, but no significant problems in over three years on S(A).