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While I'm sure most or many of you have heard or thought about many of these tips, I hope they will still benefit some new or old strip club mongers on their road to happy lapping.

Tip 1: People are people and your best approach to any business or personal relationship is to be respectful and remember there is another person on the other side of the table, tip rail, etc. (While that goes without saying, in some situations its best to wait and see where she leads you with her personal preference on how to be treated a little more naughty or nice.)

Tip 2: Always smell good ( shower up boys! ) with freshly laundered clothes. You would think that sentence would be just common sense. Yet, after all these years, I'm sure some of you have sat next to someone and then moved away because for some reason they never got the memo.

Tip 3: Make sure you know how much money you're bringing in and set your limit ahead of time. Don't be tempted to "buy" a "club dance chip" with your credit card or visit their convenient ATM machine. Things can get dazzlingly overwhelming with those gyrating hips or DD's in your face and you might lose track of how much you're spending. (keep it together)

Tip 4: If you're into the higher mileage clubs that don't have a strict dress code, get some more expensive sweatpants with a draw string and some pockets. The softer the better. The dancers will thank you for it and be glad they can take a break from jeans for a while. Loose fitting clothes are good, but not too loose or you will look like you could be a shoplifter!

Tip 5: If you're not interested when she approaches it's best to be upfront and let her off easy. No reason to be mean about it. A nice "I'm just watching right now" or " I just got here and I'm just warming up" will do nicely to not hurt any feelings and keep the night drama free. ( remember they talk to each other and if you're rude or an ass they will spread the word )

Tip 6. If you're going at night make sure you park in a well lit area. Not around the side or some side street if you can help it. ( Don't set yourself up for problems. )

Tip 7: Try to go in on a regular basis, around the same time of day at a regular frequency. You will become a familiar face and you can better build a rapport with dancers you like. Keep in mind dancers might not keep a regular schedule and this approach might be all for nothing.

Tip 8: Remember everyone's name. ( take mental or cell phone notes if you have to ) So the next time you arrive you can address them before they ask you if you remember their name. This will go a long way in making a good impression. Sadly, odds are your face will be the only thing they remember on your first return trip.

Tip 9: If you're not comfortable giving out personal details make sure you have the same story planned ahead so it never changes. Or mention you like to get to know the person better before you talk about personal information. ( I don't recommend lying or creating a false persona; but this is a fantasy and we have to protect ourselves till we have a better understanding, who we are talking to.)

Tip 10: Don't get caught up in the game or business of it all.

I hope these tips were helpful and everyone has a safe and happy time in our hobby.