Tales from the club
Thursday, September 11, 2014 12:00 AM
The main reason all of us go to clubs is for the women, but I have a few other reasons for liking them. I also enjoy some of the weird going-ons. It gives me a chance to see a side of life I wouldn't otherwise. It's also an opportunity to see some pretty entertaining things, especially if you go to a variety of clubs, both low- and high-end. It's also something to do and think about while I'm waiting for the next dance. Here are a few of my favorite stories.
Note: These aren't sex stories. There are already some good sex in the club tales on TUSCL. These are more tales of the odd and unusual.
A family affair. One day a higher-end topless club opened near me. The talent was great -- girls who tended to be college age (or close) and who were 8's or higher. This included two smoking hot sisters, which isn't unusual, but they brought along a third family member -- their mother. She was far from a 10 or an 8 or a 5 for that matter, so she just wasn't a good fit in this club (obviously). The customers constantly reminded her of that. More than once she was tipped at the stage and told she would be given more if she put her clothes on and left. It was that brutal. The rumor was that the two daughters only agreed to work there if their mother could. The old gal gave it her best try until she and her daughters moved on a year later. My oddest memory was seeing all three performing on stage together topless. It would have been sexy if it wasn't so creepy. And it was creepy -- even for my neighborhood.
Handicapable Asian chick. This same club also employed three hot Asians -- a Filipina, a Thai and a Korean. Like many Asian women, they hung together. The Korean hung the tightest because she had been deaf since birth and didn't speak, but she could dance (I imagine because she could feel the beat of the music). She hung with the other Asians since they would introduce her to customers. From there, she would grab a stack of napkins and a pen, and she and the customer would write back and forth. The club, for some reason, was leery of this and eventually fired her. I saw her soon again at my favorite nude club where she was absolutely amazing. Unlike the other two Asians who were slim, she was curvy, with big tits and a nice round ass. What I found interesting was that her first club was a no touch place, but she was right at home at the nude club where she could give a lap dance like few others. (This girl could ride your crotch like it was a horse.) We were setting up some OTC but then she left the scene. I later learned she left to get married.
Little friend. The Korean was a loss, but she had brought with her to the nude club another deaf dancer -- a cute little blond who was similarly amazing on the grind. She could rub every bit of her petite body all over you. She also had a habit of moaning loudly when she became aroused after grinding her sweet parts on you after a while. It wasn't that fake moan a lot of dancers put on. It was low, deep moan, like an animal's growl. I believe she did it because she wasn't aware of how loud it was. Oh, and she was also a lesbian. That didn't matter. Maybe she was thinking about her girlfriend when she was grinding and moaning -- who cares, it was incredible. Unfortunately, the club shut down for renovations soon after she started, and I never saw her again. Rumor has it, every once in a while she returns to the club scene. I'll be waiting.
Greedy DJ. Imagine getting to spend six nights a week in a nude club getting lap dances while making amazing money. A college buddy of mine had that deal for a year after a bikini club he was DJing at went full nude. The club was in a good locale and had the hottest women around. There was nothing like it nearby so the money just rolled in. The place was busy from 10 in the morning till it closed -- often the next day at 4 am. My pal used to charge the dancers $20 an hour to spin their music. Most nights there were more than 20 strippers. On the weekends, there were usually more than 40. Do the math. That's $20/hr from 20-40 women, six nights a week over a 7 hour shift. The dancers bitched about the payout, but the guy did a great job of pushing VIP dances and making them extra bucks. This guy was rolling in money until the day the owner approached him and asked if he'd do some managing at the club -- as in, watching the dancers and making sure the extras didn't go too far. My pal agreed but demanded $50 a nite for the extra work. The owner balked at paying, said "fuck you" after they argued and replaced him with a jukebox. My friend moved on to another club, but the days of big money were gone. He said goodbye to taking $2000 cash a nite from beautiful naked women all over a $50 dispute.
D-bag bartender. Remember the movie "Cocktail" where Tom Cruise played a bartender who would flip bottles and sling drinks and was the center of attention at a tropical bar? Imagine a guy who thought he was Cruise working at your favorite titty bar. Oh, and he's also a complete douche, a terrible bartender and a miserable twat. My usual Friday night club hired such a d-bag for reasons I still don't understand. The female bartenders were all hot, friendly and good at their job. There was no need for him. Anyhow, this guy would start his shift early and try to put on some sort of juggling show where he bounced vodka bottles off his hands and arms while trying to flip them. Always, always -- did I say always? -- he would end up dropping the bottles, which would ricochet off the bar's rubber matted floor where he then picked them up. When he wasn't dropping bottles he was refusing to serve regulars, pouting, tattling on people (customers and dancers) he didn't like and hitting on the occasional stripper. none of whom seem to appreciate his attention. After some time, he fortunately quit. That would have been good enough for me until I heard this bit of news on him. Despite one attempt after another for months on end, he never got laid by any of the dancers. Ever. Not a date. Nothing even close. That has to be some sort of record for a guy bartending at a strip club. Congratulations, douchebag!
Afternoon antics. I love hitting a club in the middle of the day when the dancer quality is good and there are fewer prying eyes to whatever action I'm pursuing. I used to slip away during my lunch hour to a nearby nude club that was opening up a new addition. With all the work being done on the new half, there was little attention being paid to the VIP area. I was getting some intense lapdances one afternoon with one of my favorites when another dancer, who was visibly shaken, sat down with us. She warned us not to move and to be quiet since we were all in danger. Moments before, she had been speaking with a customer who (she said) threatened to harm everyone in the club. She stepped away from him and warned the bartender. The owner's policy was never to call the police if a problem could be solved another way. The bartender and the work crew doing the renovation decided to lure this customer into the new part of the club where they would jump him, disarm him and then remove him from the property. This took at least a half-hour to set up. I sat in the VIP and watched these guys put their plan in motion. It worked perfectly, but the guy had no weapon. It turned out he was just some idiot who had been bragging to a dancer that he had "something in his pants that would terrify everyone in the club!" Yep, he shut down a nudie bar for an afternoon by bragging about his dick.
Police action. Most guys who love clubs have a last resort joint. This is the bar you only go to when your favorite clubs are either dead or closed for the night. My last resort was a nude club that was notorious for three things: prostitution, ugly dancers and occasional police raids. The only reasons to go to this place were to get laid without having to pick up a street walker or to hook up with the few attractive dancers who might stop in. I stopped in for the latter one night because two of my local favorites began working the late shift. On the way in I noticed a pickup truck with an extended cab parked near the door. Inside were four young guys talking excitedly. I figured they were some country boys anxious to finally tag some ass they weren't related to. Once inside, I found my favorites and began negotiating VIP time. That's when three of the guys walked in, sat down at the stage then minutes later each paired up with a dancer and headed for the VIP. It was obvious something was wrong. The three girls they selected were absolutely nasty. They chose them without seeing what else was available at the club. Also, the procedure at this place was to negotiate VIPs at the tables, not the stage. The music came on and minutes later one of the dancers in VIP began wailing, "No, no, no, NOOOOOOO!" Right after that, the fourth guy from the truck walked in with a handkerchief covering his face and began talking to the manager/DJ. He looked like a bank robber from an old western. I thought for a moment the club was being robbed , but this was a VICE raid. Long story short, VICE had come in wired for sound and recorded three of the dancers making deals for extra services in VIP. They were all arrested, and police cruisers rolled in to take them away and finish their investigation. I waited around for nearly an hour wondering what to do as police examined the place. Eventually, because it was so late, I simply walked out. The cops didn't stop me or pay me any attention. I drove away never to return. One VICE raid is enough.
Note: These aren't sex stories. There are already some good sex in the club tales on TUSCL. These are more tales of the odd and unusual.
A family affair. One day a higher-end topless club opened near me. The talent was great -- girls who tended to be college age (or close) and who were 8's or higher. This included two smoking hot sisters, which isn't unusual, but they brought along a third family member -- their mother. She was far from a 10 or an 8 or a 5 for that matter, so she just wasn't a good fit in this club (obviously). The customers constantly reminded her of that. More than once she was tipped at the stage and told she would be given more if she put her clothes on and left. It was that brutal. The rumor was that the two daughters only agreed to work there if their mother could. The old gal gave it her best try until she and her daughters moved on a year later. My oddest memory was seeing all three performing on stage together topless. It would have been sexy if it wasn't so creepy. And it was creepy -- even for my neighborhood.
Handicapable Asian chick. This same club also employed three hot Asians -- a Filipina, a Thai and a Korean. Like many Asian women, they hung together. The Korean hung the tightest because she had been deaf since birth and didn't speak, but she could dance (I imagine because she could feel the beat of the music). She hung with the other Asians since they would introduce her to customers. From there, she would grab a stack of napkins and a pen, and she and the customer would write back and forth. The club, for some reason, was leery of this and eventually fired her. I saw her soon again at my favorite nude club where she was absolutely amazing. Unlike the other two Asians who were slim, she was curvy, with big tits and a nice round ass. What I found interesting was that her first club was a no touch place, but she was right at home at the nude club where she could give a lap dance like few others. (This girl could ride your crotch like it was a horse.) We were setting up some OTC but then she left the scene. I later learned she left to get married.
Little friend. The Korean was a loss, but she had brought with her to the nude club another deaf dancer -- a cute little blond who was similarly amazing on the grind. She could rub every bit of her petite body all over you. She also had a habit of moaning loudly when she became aroused after grinding her sweet parts on you after a while. It wasn't that fake moan a lot of dancers put on. It was low, deep moan, like an animal's growl. I believe she did it because she wasn't aware of how loud it was. Oh, and she was also a lesbian. That didn't matter. Maybe she was thinking about her girlfriend when she was grinding and moaning -- who cares, it was incredible. Unfortunately, the club shut down for renovations soon after she started, and I never saw her again. Rumor has it, every once in a while she returns to the club scene. I'll be waiting.
Greedy DJ. Imagine getting to spend six nights a week in a nude club getting lap dances while making amazing money. A college buddy of mine had that deal for a year after a bikini club he was DJing at went full nude. The club was in a good locale and had the hottest women around. There was nothing like it nearby so the money just rolled in. The place was busy from 10 in the morning till it closed -- often the next day at 4 am. My pal used to charge the dancers $20 an hour to spin their music. Most nights there were more than 20 strippers. On the weekends, there were usually more than 40. Do the math. That's $20/hr from 20-40 women, six nights a week over a 7 hour shift. The dancers bitched about the payout, but the guy did a great job of pushing VIP dances and making them extra bucks. This guy was rolling in money until the day the owner approached him and asked if he'd do some managing at the club -- as in, watching the dancers and making sure the extras didn't go too far. My pal agreed but demanded $50 a nite for the extra work. The owner balked at paying, said "fuck you" after they argued and replaced him with a jukebox. My friend moved on to another club, but the days of big money were gone. He said goodbye to taking $2000 cash a nite from beautiful naked women all over a $50 dispute.
D-bag bartender. Remember the movie "Cocktail" where Tom Cruise played a bartender who would flip bottles and sling drinks and was the center of attention at a tropical bar? Imagine a guy who thought he was Cruise working at your favorite titty bar. Oh, and he's also a complete douche, a terrible bartender and a miserable twat. My usual Friday night club hired such a d-bag for reasons I still don't understand. The female bartenders were all hot, friendly and good at their job. There was no need for him. Anyhow, this guy would start his shift early and try to put on some sort of juggling show where he bounced vodka bottles off his hands and arms while trying to flip them. Always, always -- did I say always? -- he would end up dropping the bottles, which would ricochet off the bar's rubber matted floor where he then picked them up. When he wasn't dropping bottles he was refusing to serve regulars, pouting, tattling on people (customers and dancers) he didn't like and hitting on the occasional stripper. none of whom seem to appreciate his attention. After some time, he fortunately quit. That would have been good enough for me until I heard this bit of news on him. Despite one attempt after another for months on end, he never got laid by any of the dancers. Ever. Not a date. Nothing even close. That has to be some sort of record for a guy bartending at a strip club. Congratulations, douchebag!
Afternoon antics. I love hitting a club in the middle of the day when the dancer quality is good and there are fewer prying eyes to whatever action I'm pursuing. I used to slip away during my lunch hour to a nearby nude club that was opening up a new addition. With all the work being done on the new half, there was little attention being paid to the VIP area. I was getting some intense lapdances one afternoon with one of my favorites when another dancer, who was visibly shaken, sat down with us. She warned us not to move and to be quiet since we were all in danger. Moments before, she had been speaking with a customer who (she said) threatened to harm everyone in the club. She stepped away from him and warned the bartender. The owner's policy was never to call the police if a problem could be solved another way. The bartender and the work crew doing the renovation decided to lure this customer into the new part of the club where they would jump him, disarm him and then remove him from the property. This took at least a half-hour to set up. I sat in the VIP and watched these guys put their plan in motion. It worked perfectly, but the guy had no weapon. It turned out he was just some idiot who had been bragging to a dancer that he had "something in his pants that would terrify everyone in the club!" Yep, he shut down a nudie bar for an afternoon by bragging about his dick.
Police action. Most guys who love clubs have a last resort joint. This is the bar you only go to when your favorite clubs are either dead or closed for the night. My last resort was a nude club that was notorious for three things: prostitution, ugly dancers and occasional police raids. The only reasons to go to this place were to get laid without having to pick up a street walker or to hook up with the few attractive dancers who might stop in. I stopped in for the latter one night because two of my local favorites began working the late shift. On the way in I noticed a pickup truck with an extended cab parked near the door. Inside were four young guys talking excitedly. I figured they were some country boys anxious to finally tag some ass they weren't related to. Once inside, I found my favorites and began negotiating VIP time. That's when three of the guys walked in, sat down at the stage then minutes later each paired up with a dancer and headed for the VIP. It was obvious something was wrong. The three girls they selected were absolutely nasty. They chose them without seeing what else was available at the club. Also, the procedure at this place was to negotiate VIPs at the tables, not the stage. The music came on and minutes later one of the dancers in VIP began wailing, "No, no, no, NOOOOOOO!" Right after that, the fourth guy from the truck walked in with a handkerchief covering his face and began talking to the manager/DJ. He looked like a bank robber from an old western. I thought for a moment the club was being robbed , but this was a VICE raid. Long story short, VICE had come in wired for sound and recorded three of the dancers making deals for extra services in VIP. They were all arrested, and police cruisers rolled in to take them away and finish their investigation. I waited around for nearly an hour wondering what to do as police examined the place. Eventually, because it was so late, I simply walked out. The cops didn't stop me or pay me any attention. I drove away never to return. One VICE raid is enough.
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