Pumps Review

So, Pumps is basically a strip club with dive bar energy, which is kinda cool if you’re into that. It’s not one of those fancy, high-end joints—it’s a little gritty, kinda dark, but in a way that adds to the vibe. The lighting is low but not too crazy, and the music is definitely on the louder side, so don’t expect to have deep conversations. The DJ is hit or miss—sometimes they’re on point, other times it’s like they just hit shuffle on a playlist with no transition skills. Cleanliness? It’s fine, nothing nasty, but also not spotless. The bathrooms are kinda what you’d expect—functional, but don’t go in there expecting a spa experience. The crowd is mixed, but it never felt unsafe or sketchy. Definitely not a place where you need to keep looking over your shoulder, but also not somewhere you’d bring someone who only does bottle service at bougie lounges.

Now, the dancers are where things get interesting. It’s a solid mix—some super cute, some more of that artsy, tatted-up, alternative look. Not really the “Instagram model” type you’d find at the upscale clubs, but that’s kinda what makes it fun. It’s a mix of Black, Latina, white, and a few that were hard to place, which keeps things interesting. Most of them were pretty chill, not too pushy, and some actually seemed like they were having a good time. A couple of them definitely had that “I’m just here to get paid” vibe, but hey, that’s the job. The crowd itself was mostly locals—some blue-collar types, some hipsters, and a few randoms who probably just wandered in after pregaming somewhere else. It’s a relaxed scene, no pressure, just people hanging out and enjoying the night.

As for prices, it’s actually pretty decent compared to a lot of NYC spots. No cover depending on the night. Beers are about $10-$14, and mixed drinks will run you $12-$15, so it’s not cheap, but it’s not robbery either. Lap dances are $30 per song with tips for the dancers which is the usual, and they do have a VIP area, but don’t expect some luxury experience—it’s more like a slightly private booth where you’re still kinda in the mix. What I liked is that they don’t try to bleed you dry. You can actually chill, grab a drink, and enjoy the place without feeling like you have to throw money every five minutes.