So, let me tell you about my wild night at Palomino Strip Club. If you’re looking for a place that’s a mix of Vegas glam and a touch of that “your-wild-uncle’s-party-pad” vibe, Palomino is your spot. As soon as I walked in, I was hit with the scent of cologne, perfume, and a cocktail of excitement mixed with a hint of desperation. The neon lights are so bright they could guide a plane in for landing, but hey, isn’t that what we want? A bit of that “lost in a rave, but also in a living room” feel?
The décor is, well, let’s call it ‘vintage eclectic.’ There are plush red velvet chairs that look like they were stolen from a 1970s casino, and the walls are adorned with photos of past performers—a bit like a museum of tassel history. I don’t know who designed the place, but I’m guessing they were inspired by a fever dream involving a lot of glitter and sequins.
Now, let’s talk about the performers. These ladies are nothing short of incredible—athletic, charismatic, and with more confidence in their little finger than I’ve ever had in my entire life. One performer, let’s call her “Electra,” did things on the pole that defied the laws of physics. I’m pretty sure she might be a graduate of Cirque du Soleil but somehow got lost on the way to the tent. She was upside down, right-side up, and at one point, I swear she was parallel to the ground. It’s not often you cheer while also fearing for someone’s life. The performances were a mix of sultry, acrobatic, and at times, downright hilarious. One performer danced to a remix of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony. Culture and lap dances? Sign me up!
Speaking of lap dances, let me tell you—they are amazing. If you've ever wondered what it's like to be the center of attention in a way that's borderline royal, get yourself a lap dance at Palomino. Fully nude and fully engaging, the dancers know how to make the experience feel both intimate and exhilarating. And let’s not forget, Palomino is one of the few places that’s fully nude, which adds a whole other layer of “wow” to the evening.
The crowd was a fascinating mix of bachelor parties, curious couples, and a guy who looked like he took a wrong turn on his way to a PTA meeting. There’s a kind of camaraderie that develops in a place like this. We’re all there for a good time, and there’s an unspoken rule that what happens at Palomino stays at Palomino. Kind of like a Vegas that you can actually afford.
Drinks? They’re strong enough to make you think you can dance with the performers. (Note: you cannot. I learned this the hard way.) The cocktail menu is a fun read, featuring drinks like “Pole Position” and “Glitter Bomb.” The bartenders are friendly and have a heavy pour, which is always appreciated when you’re trying to muster up the courage to sit in the front row.
But let’s be real here—the food. I didn’t go expecting a five-star meal, but the chicken wings were surprisingly good. I wouldn’t call them “date-night” material, but they pair nicely with a whiskey sour and the aforementioned “Glitter Bomb.” I also tried the nachos, which were piled so high they could double as a step stool for the vertically challenged. By the end of the night, I wasn’t sure if I was covered in glitter, nacho cheese, or a mix of both. Probably both.
Overall, Palomino Strip Club is not just a strip club; it's an experience. It’s a great place to let loose, have fun, and maybe even get a little crazy. You’re guaranteed to laugh, be amazed, and maybe question some of your life choices. But hey, isn’t that what a good night out is all about? Just remember to bring some dollar bills, a sense of humor, and maybe a wet wipe for all that glitter. You’ll thank me later.
