Swing and a miss

This is from an unscheduled Tuesday afternoon visit. My expectations were not high, yet the visit still failed to meet them. Desires is arguably the best club in New England, but even it has its off days.

The club is located near I95 making access to and from the highway very easy. There is ample parking, during the day at least, with valet service available for the lazy or when it’s super busy. A metal detector greets you at the door. No matter how many times I take everything out of my pockets the damn thing still pings. Normally, the doorman will recognize me, ignore it and wave me thru. Immediately on the left past the metal detector is an elevator that goes the Club Lust on the second floor. Lust is a private club with better food and surroundings – or so I’ve been told since I’ve never actually been there. It’ll run you $300 for 3 months, but you get the money back when you order food or drinks.

The Desires entrance is just past the doorman on the right. On the left after the entrance are the champaign rooms for private dances. Dances run $50 to the house session and $100 to the girl per 15 min session - plus whatever you think is appropriate in the way of a tip (wink wink). The eight rooms are dimly lit and equipped with a small couch and table where you can drop off your phone, keys or anything else that might interfere with your “dance”. Just outside the champaign rooms is a half wall that separates rooms from the main stage and table seating. Girls will often hangout at the wall when they are looking for someone to take a dance. It’s also a great place to check out their cute bottoms as they stand at the wall.

Further down to the left past the champaign rooms is a hallway to the bathrooms. They try to keep them clean, but they’re bathrooms so don’t expect too much.

The main room has two large square bars set up away from the stage and table seating area. I prefer to sit along the sides or back of the bars away from the stage. It makes it easier to watch the performers on stage and avoid the foot traffic heading to the rooms or bathroom. The bartenders at Desire are all first rate. Most will engage in banter and, if you visit often, they will remember what you like to drink. Drink prices are about normal for a strip club. Beer and bottled water run around $6. If you are inclined to order a shot do yourself a favor and order a double. The price of the double is not much more than the single. Drink cards are available to save a little more. You can get a $25 card for $20 or a $125 card for $100. Really doesn’t make sense to not at least get a $25 card. In between the bars near the DJ booth is a wall that dances will also hang out at when they are looking for someone to chat with. Most dancers will not approach you unless you make eye contact. The few that do are easily shoo’ed off with a polite “nah, I’m good” or “not right now, thanks”. If you are interested in a dancer, the best thing to do is to try to make eye contact as they walk by or approach them when they are dancing their shift. There are seats around the stage that let you get up close. Tip the dance and ask if she’d like to come by for a drink after her session on stage. Unless they already have a customer waiting for them, they will meet you after their dance.