Priced out in Portland

I was in Portland for business and thought I'd do a Google search for any strip clubs locally, and Rick's popped up with some lukewarm Yelp and Google reviews. I thought I'd give it a shot and ordered an Uber.

Upon arrival, the club is a large, stand-alone building in a commercial area with a staffed arrival area. I was greeted by a manager, Nick, who was very personable and led me into the club. After a quick metal detector wand-down, I paid my cover of $15 and was introduced to a floor manager, John, who took me on a guided tour of the facility. We went up a flight of stairs to an overlook and explanation of the private rooms and areas for separate parties, including an air-conditioned back bar quiet area for reserved rooms with a private bar and bartender (which was empty of customers, I'll get to why later). After touring the bachelor party area and private party area, we returned to the floor through the area for single and 3-for dances.

Throughout the tour, I was excited about the possibilities until I asked John about the cost for all these areas. He then broke things down and my mind was spinning with all of the numbers! The single dancers, in a public area with single couches, were $40 per song, or 3 for $100. The private rooms were $321 for 15 minutes and I can't remember the cost of 30 or 60 because I was so surprised by the cost of 15, but I remember thinking that I might be priced out by this place. After the cost explanation, I was introduced to the main bartender with the wrong name, which she called me the rest of the night after I corrected her, as a joke - which I took as funny as she remembered me and what I liked to drink.

The dancers start on a main stage for a few songs, then move off to a satellite stage, then to a bottle service area where they interact with groups of patrons. I was approached by an older, milf-y, dancers whose mane I missed. She was polite and sat on my lap, but I really wasn't interested as she wasn't my type. I tipped her or her time and she walked off. Not sure I did anything wrong because I was pretty much ignored by dancers the rest of the night. There were girls of many different body types, but no real knockouts. I am partial to dancers with heavy tops, and I was pretty much let down by the choices (although I think I would have gone broke if I found one I liked).

There were plenty of patrons spending money, one guy I was chatting with at the bar as the Celtics lost, asked for $500 in singles then made it rain on a few girls, which was nuts.