sinclair's Review
I went to The Pony on a Friday night at about 20:40. The strip club is located in Harviell, about ten miles southwest of Poplar Bluff. The club does not have a liquor license, so BYOB is permitted. There is a $10 cover if you don’t want to drink. There is a $25 cover if you are bringing in your own alcohol. There are different colored wristbands for each level of cover charge that allow in-and-out access all night. There are no restrictions in terms of bringing in glass bottles or hard alcohol. There is a liquor store on the other side of US 160. A bucket of ice is $3. A bucket of soda to use as a mixer is $5. For non-drinkers, The Pony offers fountain sodas for $3 and twenty ounce bottles of soda for $5. Hookahs are rented for $30. Smoking is allowed inside, but there are ventilators inside that do a pretty good job of keeping the secondhand smoke from lingering. There appeared to be a lax dress code as I was wearing a muscle shirt and basketball shorts.
There is a big island main stage in the middle of the room. It is in the shape of a banjo with one pole in a circular area that spins and one pole on a runway that is stationary. A juice bar is along the back wall behind the stage. The left wall of the room is where the VIP rooms and dance booths are located. They are several steps up from the floor level. The left side also has a pool table, three video slot machines, and two auxiliary stages: one in the front left corner and one in the back left corner. Some dancers would use the stage in the front left corner to warm up or practice. The right side of the room has a pool table, a dartboard, a vending machine, an ATM machine, and a waterfall that flows down a rock wall. The ATM has an $800 limit per transaction. The ATM charges a twelve percent fee. If you withdrew the maximum withdrawal of $800, you would be paying a $96 fee. The washrooms and dancer dressing room are down a hallway in the back right corner of the floorplan.
There were twenty-seven dancers working. Dancers did two song sets on stage, getting nude by the second song. There were twenty-four white dancers, one Hispanic dancer, one black dancer, and one mixed dancer. This is a 20/80 strip club. About twenty percent of the dancers were hot enough to fuck, while eighty percent were too ugly to spend money on. During peak hours, there were two dancers performing on the main stage at any given time. Dancers will shove their boobs in your face, but otherwise, there was not much contact at the stage. The Pony was standing room only by midnight.
–Sinclair Dancer Sheet–
Ava: White, chubby, blonde hair, A cups, not HWP, was stumbling around drunk as a skunk, 4.5.
Faye: White, spinner, blonde hair, brown eyes, A cups, 6.5.
Georgia: White, brown hair, brown eyes, A cups, thick southern accent, looks to be mid-thirties to forty, 5.
Ivy: White, slim, wavy brown hair, B cups, must have just had a kid as stomach was jacked up, 5.
Jersey: Black, fake D cups with extremely large visible scars, big tattoo over right boob, 4.
Jinx: White, average body, light brown hair, B cups, tattoo down spine, would be hotter if she toned up, 6.5.
Kylie: Mixed, average body, A cups, had kid, twenty-eight years old, 5.5.
Lexi: White, B cups, alabaster white skin, wears glasses, big tattoo on left thigh, walks with an abnormal gait, 7.
Little Red: White, slim, curly blonde hair, B cups, butterfly wing tattoos on back, 8.
Lucia: White, fat, missing teeth, B cups with really dark areolas, bad attitude, 2.
Marie: White, spinner, brown hair, A cups, tribal tramp stamp, star tattoos down the back of right leg, 6.
Mary Jane: White, fat (or as some say curvy), black hair, D cups, tattoos on both arms and legs, 3.
Maxine: White, dark brown hair, very short, looks to be about 4'4”, large B or small C cups, tattoo of a house on right thigh, 4.
Mercy: Hispanic, average body, medium length black hair, small B cups with large areolas, wears glasses, 5.
Mia: White, wavy brown hair, barely B cups, pale white skin, some acne, 6.
Nina: White, saggy C cups, butterfly tattoos on right leg, big flower tattoo on middle of chest below boobs, baby damage, over forty years old, 2.5.
Princess: White, spinner, long light brown hair, A cups, big tattoo on side of right thigh, had kid, 5.5.
Riley: White, average body, black hair, 7.5.
Rose: White, dark brown hair, beautiful face, needs to tone up, 7.
Tiva: White, black hair, blue eyes, B cups, left arm tattooed, playboy bunny tattoo where left bikini strap is, twenty years old, 7.5.
Unique: White, fat, pink hair, saggy C cups, big tattoo on chest, tattoos of laces on back of legs, areolas are tattooed, 2.
The Pony is a very low pressure club. I had almost no dancers approach me to offer private dances or VIP rooms. You have to take the initiative and approach the dancers if you want lap dances. About once every hour or two, all of the dancers get called up to the stage and two-for-one private dances are offered for the next few minutes. Dancers don’t work the room trying to make sales on the discounted dances; they go and sit right back down wherever they were before the feature was called.
Topless lap dances are $30 per song and done in booths with minimal privacy. More privacy and nudity are offered as Executive VIP options as follows: one song for $50, fifteen minutes for $100, thirty minutes for $150, and sixty minutes for $300. The thirty and sixty minute options are great value, working out to somewhere between $15 to $20 per song. Dancers get to keep $20 from a $30 topless dance, $30 from a $50 nude dance, seventy-five percent of a fifteen minute VIP, two-thirds of a thirty minute VIP, and two-thirds of a sixty minute VIP. You have to prepay a bouncer for all private dances or VIP rooms.
I did a thirty minute Executive VIP with Tiva. She was attractive, but gave an uninspiring performance. She didn’t grind much and acted like she didn’t want to be there. At one point she mentioned that she had recently become pregnant. I don’t know if this was stripper shit trying to justify why she was such a lame private dancer, or if she was telling the truth. Women in the Ozarks do seem to get knocked up young, but at the same time, she was vaping and drinking Monster all night, so I think it was bullshit. She cut my time short by a whole five minutes and even walked out of the booth at one point to talk to a friend. I would classify Tiva as a ROB. A bouncer keeps track of time, so if you wait until he comes back to call time, you are getting your full time or even a little more. I didn’t notice any cameras in the VIP area, so I think a great time could be had if you picked the right dancer. Later, back at my table, Tiva asked me to give her money so she could purchase a Playboy bunny-themed outfit from the house mom. I told her I don’t buy dancer gear. Five minutes later, I saw her walk out of the dressing room wearing the outfit she described to me. She already owned it, and that was no surprise, as she has a Playboy bunny tattoo. Avoid Tiva, she is a scammer.
The words ‘Call Of The Wild’ can still be made out on the building. Before this building was a strip club, it was a taxidermy museum with many types of stuffed animals on display in mock habitats including African safari animals, local wildlife, and a Bigfoot family. There are rock structures with waterfalls on both the outside and inside of the building. Every time I pass by, there is a van that was designed to look like a giant pink pig pulling a trailer with two smaller pink pigs, sitting on the outer edge of the parking lot. I assume the vehicle was inherited from ‘Call Of The Wild’. The club stays open until 04:00 on Friday and Saturday nights. The Pony had a lively party atmosphere with plenty of young female clientele in addition to the peelers. Some folks were just paying the lower non-alcohol cover charge for a wristband and then making occasional trips out to the parking lot to drink alcohol stored in their pickup trucks. Parking lot parties are a thing here. The Pony's thirty minute and sixty minute VIP rooms are a good value if you can find the right dancer. I will definitely return the next time I am in the area.
